News Mar 23, 2018 at 12:29 pm

Police Reports Illustrated: Auburn Man Commits Crime Turducken

Callan Berry
Back to article

Comments

1
Interesting. So that brings up the question of whether it's legal to steal money intended for illegal activity. Can you steal drug money from a cartel without fear of arrest?
seatackled on March 23, 2018 at 1:07 PM Report this
2
@1

How do you think Batman got so rich?

Seriously though, no you can't.
Adam Kadmon on March 23, 2018 at 1:17 PM Report this
3
why wasn't the man arrested for soliciting?
Eilabun on March 23, 2018 at 1:19 PM Report this
4
@3 Maybe a criminal lawyer can correct me, but I don't believe admission of a crime is sufficient evidence that a crime took place.
Dougsf on March 23, 2018 at 1:36 PM Report this
5
The anonymous female who wielded her Mjolnir like divine retribution: You win the internet! You win Seattle! You win the woman contest!

I want to see all women cracking skulls when a pervert enters their area! That is the type of street justice that gets results.
Popelick Monster on March 23, 2018 at 1:54 PM Report this
6
@1) It is still the crime of theft even though he was stipulating illegal activity.

We need to chase that woman down because that $70 is a windfall taxable up to 20%!
Popelick Monster on March 23, 2018 at 1:56 PM Report this
7
@2

Inherited from daddy.

@2 @6

Thanks. So that's a no for stealing from the cartel. . .
seatackled on March 23, 2018 at 2:45 PM Report this
8
The Auburn fool is either a Trump relative, or just another revolting wannabe apologist.
I'm glad she whacked his ass and took his $70. I hope Stormy Daniels takes Trumpzilla
down for every last ill-gotten cent, and Robert Mueller III sticks a fork in its ass.
@3 Good question.
auntie grizelda on March 23, 2018 at 2:48 PM Report this
9
@8 Listen, I'm no fan of Trump or his supporters and this guys is clearly a piece of shit, and yes, he COULD be a Trump supporter, but...whatever you're blathering about has nothing to do with the content of this comic. Like, WHAT are you talking about, you knucklehead?
mhulot on March 23, 2018 at 2:58 PM Report this
10
What a dumbshit, I mean if you can't drugs and hookers in Auburn, where can you?
Wild Bill on March 23, 2018 at 4:24 PM Report this
11
@3 because our civilization is based on a hierarchy of allowable violence, whereby violence done by those higher up to those lower down is rationalized and violence done the other way is considered a moral outrage. And being a sexist society, men are higher up on that hierarchy than women. I feel awkward for paraphrasing a transphobic POS like Derrick Jensen but even stopped clocks are right twice daily.
Blackcap on March 23, 2018 at 8:43 PM Report this
12
Corpus delicti rule. There must be some minimal evidence of a criminal act and criminal agency, independent of a confession, in order to convict of a crime. A confession alone is not enough.
Algernon on March 23, 2018 at 9:50 PM Report this
13
@9 warhol: *yaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwn*. Oh, excuse me. I must have nodded off. What were you trolling about?
auntie grizelda on March 23, 2018 at 10:09 PM Report this
15
@3 Possibly the officer figured the case would be too much of a pain in the ass without a witness, since he had no way of identifying who the woman was?

I know it's not really supposed to be the purview of police to make those sorts of judgement calls, but they do. And yeah, being a wealthy dude probably did not hurt him one bit.
Source: reported on police for a year elsewhere in the state
barefootbiker on March 24, 2018 at 9:42 AM Report this
19
He must be a republican, they're so utterly obnoxious and despicable that they always have to pay for sex so they think it's normal to do so. Just ask Stormy Daniels, Karen McDougal, or Summer Zervos.

He was actually embarrassed to report this to the police, though, so I suspect his mother's a democrat or an independent because god knows you can't get morals or a conscience from a republican.
RickFromTexas on March 24, 2018 at 11:29 AM Report this
20
@13 - Wasn't trolling Auntie. Just that Trump-bashing is not pertinent to the cartoon. You don't need to overtly incorporate your colorful commentary on 45 and Republicans where it's off-topic.
raindrop on March 24, 2018 at 11:30 AM Report this
21
I do prefer the comics that incorporate just a tiny bit of color to them, but boy if this isn't the best one Callan's made so far. Well done! (And I got a hearty laugh out of "How darest thou!")

@15: "...being a wealthy dude probably did not hurt him one bit."
I'm pretty sure good sex workers charge more than $70, even for only a BJ. For that price, the only thing you're likely to get is robbed.
Knat on March 24, 2018 at 11:41 AM Report this
23
I only wish there was a hotel called the Oppulente, with lots of chandeliers and pouffy drapes, and a plush dining room and a dim cocktail lounge, with muzak playing softly everywhere.

But instead we get louts from Auburn who offer ladies money for sex.
Catalina Vel-DuRay on March 24, 2018 at 1:20 PM Report this
24
@22: Be that as it may, she still has payment for services that were never rendered. Hence, it's theft.
raindrop on March 24, 2018 at 1:23 PM Report this
25
@23: She's no lady. Though that has never had any charm for him.
raindrop on March 24, 2018 at 1:24 PM Report this
27
16
a gal who can't get a gun

21
and crabs
Samantha Jean on March 25, 2018 at 7:20 PM Report this
28
Yeah, I'm no fan of Trump's, but we don't need to bring him up in every conversation, do we? Can't we just enjoy a cartoon of some Auburn dickhead being beat with a hammer for solicitation, without having to talk politics?
Traffic Spiral on March 26, 2018 at 3:46 AM Report this
29
#16: And did she also have a bell, and a song to sing all over this land?
AlaskanbutnotSeanParnell on March 26, 2018 at 12:13 PM Report this
31
@20 raindrop & 28 traffic spiral: Um...haven't you noticed that there's usually a LOT of bashing in Callan's cartoons, however amusing the dialogue, whether or not I comment or if the subject matter is directly Trumpzilla-related? I'm not a fan of violence, either, especially if it becomes routine just to get laughs. Okay. I've said enough in this comment thread.
@23 Catalina Vel-DuRay: Once again, I nominate you winner of the comment thread. Well done.
@30 Johnny88: Unfortunately, in this current self-destructive era of morons and madmen, I do.
auntie grizelda on March 27, 2018 at 5:54 PM Report this
32
He can tell his friends he came to Seattle and got hammered.
RicketyRick on April 14, 2018 at 9:47 AM Report this

Please wait...

Comments are closed.

Commenting on this item is available only to members of the site. You can sign in here or create an account here.


Add a comment
Preview
Posted by (your name here)

By posting this comment, you are agreeing to our Terms of Use.

More In News

King County Prosecutor Leesa Manion Wants to Weaken Protections for Strippers
Make Sure Your Vote Got Counted
Seattle City Council Refuses to Discuss Ceasefire in Gaza
The City of Seattle Destroyed the Black Lives Memorial Garden
In New Police Union Contract, Seattle Gives Cops Huge Pay Raises but Gets Little Accountability in Return
Research Shows That Stealthing Is a Problem

Editors' Picks

How Local Political Consultants Make Their Money
The Fight for Pride in Arlington
Can a Black Person Be a NIMBY?
Here's What Happened in Olympia
Getting Patrick Pregnant
Seattle Sticker Patrol: Free Housing 4 All (Or Else)
The Stranger
is a proud member of the media network
Masthead Ad Info & Rates Jobs at The Stranger Contact Privacy Policy Terms of Use Takedown Policy Find The Stranger Near You
Support The Stranger
All contents © Index Newspapers LLC
800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134