So yesterday Russia threatened to shoot down U.S. missiles and attack the bases they were fired from if President Trump launched an attack against Syria's dictator for using chemical weapons against his own people. And early this morning Donald Trump got on Twitter...

Experience music on the meadow! Final ZooTunes lineup announced!

Either Donald Trump—who campaigned on never, ever letting our enemies know what we're planning to do*—is going to war with Vladimir Putin to protect a bunch of brown people who also happen to be Muslims or Trump ran that tweet by Putin in advance and got Putin's okay because Mueller is closing in and anything that makes Trump look tough on Russia—up to and including a phony and/or proxy war with Russia itself—is good for Trump and good for his handlers in the Kremlin. My money's on the latter.

Anyway, Seattle, hope you got a good night's sleep last night... because the odds you'll get one tonight are pretty slim.

* Also: racism, sexism, xenophobia, religious bigotry, toxic nostalgia, and the deliciousness and availability of Trump steaks.

UPDATE: What was that, Donald Trump?