apr26_savage_crushed-shitty.jpg
JOE NEWTON
I'm a straight male in my 30s. I've been with my wife for 12 years. I have had several affairs. Not one-night-stand scenarios, but longer-term connections. I didn't pursue any of these relationships. Instead, women who knew I was in an "exclusive" relationship have approached me. These have included what turned into a one-year affair with a single woman, a three-year affair with a close friend of my wife, a seven-month affair with a married coworker, and now a fairly serious four-months-and-counting relationship with a woman who approached me on Instagram. On the one hand, I do not regret my time with any of these women. On the other hand, I have been deceitful and manipulative for almost my entire adult life. I am a terrible husband in this respect. Also, I'm going to get busted eventually, right? Finding out about this would crush my wife. I love her, we get along great, and the sex is good—if I wasn't such a lying piece of shit, you could even say we make a pretty good team. We are also very socially and financially entangled. I don't want to leave, but I suspect I should. And if so, I need help considering an exit strategy. Part of my motivation for writing is that I am particularly attached to the woman I'm having an affair with now, and both of us fantasize about being together openly. I'm a liar, a cheat, a user, and a manipulator—and it just keeps happening.

A Seriously Shitty Husband On Losing Everything

P.S. I'm expecting you to rip me to shreds.