Remember kids, the 8th of May is "international Outdoor INTERCOURSE Day". I have no idea what day is "International Outdoor Masturbation Day"...

"Now, there is plenty of discussion in Seattle's more social justice minded corners about when, if ever, it's acceptable to call the police, especially if the person involved is a person of color."

So if you think a person of color is committing a crime think twice about calling the police? Well, unless they are beating off then in that case all bets are off.

@2

I suppose you'll take her last sentence seriously too.

I don't know how it happened, but I've never once seen a public flasher or masturbator. The closest I've come is the model who was changing behind a curtain (but in front of a street-facing window); or the pants-at-the-knees crackhead who bumped into me (i'm unsure of his awareness on any level).

@1 "May 8th = M8 = M8ing Day = Outdoor Intercourse"?

Is this really an issue? The plural of anecdote is not data.

@5 ask the women in your life who consent to having you ask.

I am very accepting of perverts, yet I have never come across one "in the wild". There used to be a guy in the Town House Apartments (now the Electra Condominiums) who would stand in his front window and pleasure himself, but he's been gone for years now. Even the men at Volunteer Park tend to just sit in their cars. You could probably see something if you went up to them and looked in, but that would be a bit gauche. In my experience, you have to go pretty deep into the woods to find a self-respecting onanist.

Several years back, someone (I think it was Our Dear Dan) proposed that a city park be set aside for people who wanted to seek out public sex or just walk around naked. Sort of like an off-leash park. People clutched their pearls, as we do out here (we're just not comfortable with sex, despite what we tell ourselves) but I think it's a good idea.

@6 - Wouldn’t add any verasity. Such proclivities do not float the boats of most men, as such behavior tends to be predisposed and organic. Best to consult with behavioral psychotherapists for any insight on quantifying estimated populations.

@8: Every criminal docket call I've attended included at least one public jerker. They were almost always serial offenders. Soundbite moment: In response to a heartened plea by a public defender that her client "needs help," the prosecutor responded, "He's done this seven times before, your honor."

Make of that what you will.

As for the article itself, no, these men do not expect to receive an enthusiastic helping hand. They get off on shocking and humiliating those to whom they expose themselves.

Solution? Carry pepper spray. Use it I the parts that shouldn't have been exposed to the range of fire in the first place.

I think I now know who wrote the “Space Needle” I, anonymous back in 2016. It seems to carry the same hypocritical journalistic and misandrist influences.
https://www.thestranger.com/columns/i-anonymous/2016/02/17/23575058/i-anonymous

So I'm going to have my closed minded moment of the day.

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE.

Look, in the distance, it's a cargo freighter full of NOPE!

I've known women who masturbate in public. Why do men get caught doing it way more than women? Anatomy. Women's fun bits are on the inside, men's are on the outside. In short, women can get away with it more easily since their stuff is hidden.

Why do these men do it? I have no idea but I'm sure they do. Maybe a future column could cover that, give them an anonymous forum to discuss what drives them to such bizarre behavior in public. I suspect they're so tightly wrapped that they only feel true liberation when they do such things. The feeling of relief and sexual release must seem like it's worth the risk of getting caught and arrested.

Here is an article with some theories, none of them flattering to the wankers.
http://www.menshealth.com.sg/sex-women/why-men-masturbate-in-public-plane-disorder/

We all know people who get off on the "danger" aspect of sex (usually relating to being caught), and we know people who are exhibitionists.

Seems like most obvious public wankers, not counting the homeless or mentally ill, are likely getting off on some kind of mix of exhibitionism and danger.

That being said, forcing people into your sexual life is incredibly shitty, and so public wankers should be treated the same as other sex offenders. I had a friend who lived in real fear in regards to an alley wanker who liked doing it where they could see. She had to go through the hassle and embarrassment of taking him to court, and there was not even any real punishment.

It's not ok.

I knew a girl named Nikki I guess you could say she was a sex fiend. I met her in a hotel lobby masturbating with a magazine.

@18

I mean, flying is stressful af, so i can see practicing a little self-induced stress relief, but for gawd sakes, ppl, use the damn bathroom.

They're their specifically for your effluvia.

Hm. Has anyone looked into the possibility of toxoplasmosis?

Just a thought.

"Now, there is plenty of discussion in Seattle's more social justice minded corners about when, if ever, it's acceptable to call the police, especially if the person involved is a person of color. In light of this, I'd like to make a personal plea to all the exhibitionists out there, which will save us all a call to the cops: Please, don't jerk off in public parks."

I notice this concern only ever seems to arise when the activity in question is the harassment or abuse of women.

@23

Probably far more common with guys. And women far more likely to complain about that kind of inexcusable aggression than a man would about a woman.

I was a superintendent on an apartment building installing new windows fifteen years ago. One young woman would stand at her open window undressed in the mornings. None of the guys complained. In fact they argued about who got to work there.

I found out and made that section off limits until she was at work. Then she took to answering the door in her underwear when the guys had to work in there. So new rule- workers in her apartment only with a leasing agent while she was absent. That's what sparked the complaints, not the lady.

Some people's daughters.

They do it because they are fucking nuts. Where are the homeless supposed to jerk off exactly? If you haven't seen homeless women do plenty of gross and fucking crazy shit also then you are extremely lucky.

Yeah. No. A woman should never have to see some loser jerk-off in a public park. Maybe it's because of overpopulation: the world gets more coarse, civility goes out the window. I was raised in the smallish-town South, and anybody caught doing that there then would have been torn limb from limb by townspeople at worst, or kicked way, way, way the fuck out of town at best. I still believe in limits to free range perversion.

Perhaps what the offender needs is a trip to Bauhaus's Electro-Spa where we celebrate such behavior with a good, waking 220V to the amygdala, hippocampus and limbic lobe followed by a quick snip to the vas deferans and a big shot of Depo-Provera.

Okay, so no masturbation. What about partnered+ sexual activities? Is dogging allowed?

Often vulnerable people with mental health problems will start jerking with no social awareness so think about that before breaking outta the pepper spray. Also, stay away from places where men have sex with men if that not your thing. You’ve got the whole rest of the city to walk in, piss off.

@24: You addressed me, but I don't understand how your comment is related to mine. I was talking about the overall discouragement by The Stranger of reporting harassment or abuse of women if the harasser or abuser is a person of color.

@30

The Stranger is a bit of bad polemics. But on this issue reporting on men worried about women sexually bothering them would be silly. It happens pretty rarely.

Men's attitudes? Biological programming? Who knows? But reporting on stuff that didn't happen occurs pretty often here already. Don't encourage them to expand on it.

@17 When I was at UW, I knew a girl who climbed the "smokers steps" up to her 6th or 7th floor dorm rather than use the elevator. Why? She told me her clitoral hood piercing gave her orgasms as she walked up the stairs.