It's His Piss Party. Can He Piss Where He Wants To?

Comments

1

He has a point though. Perhaps Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture, if choreographed.

2

@1: I want Randy Rainbow to do the choreography.

3

The fountain at the Bellagio plays a mix of classical and contemporary.

4

The host is obviously playing George Frideric Handel’s Water Music, which is what King George I played during his piss parties on the Thames River in 1717.

As for the canopies, why doesn’t the LW purchase his own canopies that block his neighbors’ views, and host his own parties in his backyard. With the appropriate ground rules concerning being exposed in view of his neighbors and noise issues that would upset is neighbors, he should be able to host a party without attracting unwanted attention.

5

If it’s within your budget, rent a vacation home with a backyard that meets your specifications. Maybe go in with other partygoers. He’s violating etiquette, but so are you and the others for not reciprocating.

6

First world problem.

7

I mean, have the convo if you wanna - if it works out and your issues are resolved, everybody wins. But ultimately I would say, he's the one who's got what you want. It's your obligation to be the more accommodating between the two of you.

8

This guy has taken me out to dinner a few times. The food is delicious, the restaurant service is impeccable, and he seems to like me. It's hard to get reservations to this restaurant and they always give him a prime table. He takes bites of my food, which I hate, and I find his jokes kind of annoying. It's basically like I don't want to see him anymore, except then I won't be able to go to the restaurant anymore! What do I do!

9

After the indoor party is over, what do you do with the urine kiddie pool of cold urine? How do you deal with that?

10

@8

But I think that in your analogy that restaurant has to be the only restaurant in the entire city. There are no other restaurants, there is no taco stands, there are no cafes, there's not even a 7-Eleven.

11

The party host sounds so much like my step dad it’s uncanny. As the Ace man says, it takes all kinds.

12

@9
Wet/dry shop vac and the toilet.

13

Where do I sign up for this sitcom? If nobody else airs it Netflix will do it, right?

14

Is 5 really a bad turn out? How many piss parties does someone need to go to? It seems like checking out a couple and dropping out is what I’d expect most people to do.

It’s his party. You can ask for alone time with someone, but if there’s only 5 people at the party how much alone do you expect to get? He’s running a piss party, not a fucking singles event.

Ask your buddy to go out with you after you’re done being a gracious guest and ignoring your host’s lame jokes, like a gracious guest would.

Letter writer sounds like a pain in the ass.

If you’re not having fun after a couple piss parties, you’re probably like most people who go to piss parties. Don’t go.

15

@14

Is he a pain in the ass or is he a douche?

16

So to make this sportsball-relevant, do piss players take Lasix before parties as a performance-enhancing drug?

17

Difficult one and I don't think this guy could have it at his place, four neighbours is not an ideal setting for any party.
Perhaps he could go see the guy, not text or ring, go visit and put a suggestion to him. Thank him first for his generosity and offer, because of cramped living space,he can't return the favour and have a party at his. So to repay him suggest to run the next piss meet up, he just supplies the land. Assuming he likes a bit of extra cash, which could be offered, and someone else to supply towels etc., the LW could gently let him know re the intrusions while discussing the event. If he carries on and can't take criticism, then yes back off and sort something else out.
You could play your own music as well.

18

Ah, The Fountains of Rome! And 'violins' to the LW! A minimum of five guys can't find or book somewhere not-overlooked? And find some women, too, should any wish to join? The host is boorish but not likely to give up his jokes. The workaround involves showing some initiative.

19

5 people sounds a decent turnout for rural area. In London I see 100 to 150 guys at well advertised regularly scheduled events. That's in a greater metro area with 13 million people. I'm no data scientist and math is hard, but I think this works out to 1 gay man showing up at group piss parties per 130,000 population. So to get 5 guys at a piss party would require 650,000 population within a hour's drive. Actual rural areas maybe 50,000 people in an hour's drive? Or 5,000? LW, worth putting the effort into making this dude's party better.

20

I have to wonder, are there people with daddy fetishes who include bad dad jokes as a part of the aesthetic? "Oh fuck, I'm close..." "Hi close, I'm Dad!" "Yes, cumming!" "Hi cumming, do you know close? He was just here!" I've been called Daddy plenty, but this is a new twist I haven't given much thought to. Hey, maybe the host is onto something!

Legitimately though, this guy sounds exactly like the few true dorks I've known well. Obnoxious and totally unable to help themselves. It's like a compulsion. Great advice here, host your own party and make your own fun. DIY! It'll be like an arts & crafts project, get creative with it!

21

Okay, while piss is the subject - a buddy once had a girlfriend who wanted him to piss inside her vagina. Are there women turned on by this and WHY?

PS - I do not know if he ever did, but he was concerned that he could not pee with a boner, anyway.

22

The host sounds just like some swingers I've known (and it's invariably husbands or single men) who constantly make bad jokes and running commentaries -- obviously to buffer their own anxieties when engaged in social sexuality, but ruining any sensual mood.

There's really no fix for this boorish behavior, especially in this case where it's the organizer. Yes, LW ought to get creative and devise a way to hold his own parties. It will be worth it!

23

@21 When asking whether or not there are people into some given scenario or other, always assume the answer is yes. Merely bringing it up publicly ensures it either is the case or will be the case soon (some enterprising few will take it as a challenge, and from there, the seed is planted). Fetishes have the same efficiency as the market, if you suspect someone could be into something tomorrow, someone will find a way to be into it today.

24

@23) So how does it feel when he pisses in your vagina?

25

Alternatively: "Dan, I'm a kinkster with a relatively unpopular kink: piss play. For the past decade, I've been opening up my home to fellow travelers and building the piss play community, which wouldn't exist if not for the parties I host and pay for. Recently a new guy started showing up at my parties, and he constantly acts like he's too good for the rest of us. While we're trying to be friendly and outgoing, he's private and secretive and doesn't seem to want to engage in the community aspects. He's from the city and I can feel his judginess every time he's around. Dan, I feel like I'm doing God's work here but part of me doesn't want to continue to include this guy because he goes out of his way to make the rest of us - who've been attending for years - feel inferior to him. I want to kick him out but our community IS small and new members don't just drop out of the sky. How can I ask him to act more courteously while he's a guest in my home?"

26

True Sportlandia, it is a bit rude. Young men and their lack of training, what can you do? Classical music at a piss party does sound a little heavy.
LW, not sure why Dan would suggest having it in your basement, using wading pools. Maybe a woman could aim well, a man's piss would splatter outside the pool. Then you'd have piss particles all round the room.
Go talk with him LW, take a beer or two with you. Tell him carefully and gently why you think others are not joining and ask if he wants help sorting the next one.
If you can't muster human care for this guy, and go see him with some affection and gratitude in your heart, then let him and his party go and find another solution.

27

Stop going to the parties of hosts you don't like.

28

@1 Handel's Water Music?

LW should say what classical music!

Also, let's nominate Trump for a Noble Piss Prize. (pronounced and spelled ironically)

29

@1 Genuinely funny! Score one for Raindrop.

30

off topic: Used to be "continue reading" opened the remainder of the article but left me on the blog page. Now it opens up the article in a page where it's just the one article, so I have to hit back to get to the full blog. Annoying. Any idea why it changed?

31

@21

Asking for a friend?