Recent Savage Love Letters of the Day: This letter writer must stop seeing this wonder-performing, mind-boggling cumdump, a straight guy wants his girlfriend to find him a dick to suck, and a "thorsty" asexual who sometimes loves sex. And, as always, last week's column and Savage Lovecast.

For TSA, the asexual who would like you to go down on her (but who would not like to go down on you):

Longtime reader/listener (since ‘99!) here. You neglected to ask one very important question of TSA and it’s something that I think you forget to mention in many of your responses to women: ASK HER ABOUT HER BIRTH CONTROL.

As someone who lived with a stifled libido for the better part of my 20s, I cannot emphasize enough what a game changer it was to find out that any and all hormonal birth control effectively killed my libido. I tried the highest doses (depo) all the way down to the lowest doses (nuva ring) on the market, and several in between, and all of them had the same effect. Doctors do not tell women about this side effect. They need to hear it somewhere!

I would suggest to TSA that if she is on any kind of hormonal BC that she try taking at least three months off to see how her body reacts. If it is in fact the BC tanking her libido, a non-hormonal option like a copper IUD may be the best form of BC for her. Please, PLEASE, share this info far and wide, and don’t neglect to mention this oft overlooked cause anytime you field a question about womens’ libidos.

For DD, the girlfriend whose boyfriend wants her to be his dick detective:

I'm a little more forgiving that the hubby wants the letter writer to help out. Getting it on his own probably feels like cheating, whereas if his partner participates, it probably feels less so. She doesn't really expound on his motives for wanting her help (only the consequences of not providing it), but perhaps discussing that could get her and her guy's goals aligned.

When I was a kid, my mom would recruit me to "help" with various chores and tasks, which inevitably meant me doing everything while she talked on the phone with her sisters. I didn't realize that until I was like 16 or 17, that "help" to her meant I'd be doing 100%. Perhaps you can trick your partner (on a much smaller scale) that you are "helping" him do 100% of the work.

And:

The swinger double standard is bullshit and one of the reasons we don't really swing anymore. Very few people list any bi interest in profiles but seriously in four years of swinging all but one of the couples we played with admitted to some guy-guy interest when I asked.

Generally I'd get a chat going with the other husband privately and at some point once some rapport had been established I'd just say, "I hope you saw the part in our profile where we said we were down for almost anything, we are, if you are interested in some guy-guy stuff just let me know, if not this will be the last you hear of it." I figured that by asking privately they wouldn't be as ashamed or at least they might be more open to considering it.

I also listed myself as bi so maybe people self-selected into talking to us. We made the first contact a fair amount so it wasn't a guarantee. We also added the usual bi guy boilerplate that it isn't a deal breaker for us...blah blah blah, I won't try and suck your cock if you aren't interested.

The bi guys are out there in swinger land but they are often driven deep underground for fear that no one will want to play with them if they admit the truth. I just figured that I WANTED to have those people that were totally turned off by it pass us by. As a result, I got a lot of what I wanted, even though we got much less mail. Ultimately like this guy, even the people that contacted us and were at least tacitly down for some dude to dick action would chicken out due to shame or something.

Now I'm kind of casually looking for a male fuck buddy rather than the endless conversation carousel of the swinger world.

For straight married man with the amazing gay cumdump:

This letter writer's neighbor may eat pussy with much more finesse than he does, does that mean his wife can go enjoy her neighbor's skills? And his wife is pregnant—funny time to notice he's not really feeling satisfied. Handle it buddy, and look after your pregnant wife. Lots of adventure and work ahead of you.

And:

The size of the guy's cock is irrelevant and a red herring. The question of whether he's closeted or bisexual is also not totally germane, though it has more relevance. The real point is that he's getting blowjobs on the down-low and there's good reason to believe his wife would not be okay with it if she found out (or she wasn't okay with it when she found out, because this letter is 11 years old). My money's on a divorce that happened years ago.

And finally...

Get your pride ITMFA gear at www.ImpeachTheMotherFuckerAlready.com!

ITMFA t-shirts and tanks (and buttons and hats and lapel pins and coffee cups) are a great conversation starter: Where them out—like, say, to a party or a bar or a big parade—and people will ask you what ITMFA stands for. And then you get to tell them: Impeach the motherfucker already! (If they laugh, take them home. If they frown, tell them off.) All proceeds from the sale of ITMFA merch goes to the ACLU, Planned Parenthood and the International Refugee Assistance Project. We've already donated more than 200K to those three great orgs and another 15K to hurricane relief efforts in Puerto Rico.

Order now to get your ITMFA tees and tanks in time for Pride!