Welcome to Hell
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Follow people you disagree with. At worst, it will force you out of your echo chamber. At best, it will enrage you so much you’ll spend less time on Twitter.

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Fact check everything. If someone posts a link refuting your argument, actually read it. Chances are, they haven't.

Don’t block; mute. When someone is clogging your timeline with say, a 10-point thread on why you should have been an abortion, mute. They’ll keep screaming, but you ain’t listening.

Do not fight with anime avatars on Twitter. Do not fight with anime avatars on Twitter. Do not fight with anime avatars on Twitter.

An American flag emoji in someone’s name means they’re a Trump voter. A frog means they’re on 4chan. A rose means they voted for Bernie. A black flag means don't bother.

When it comes to Twitter, the last word is no word, so ignore your critics as much as you can. If that is beyond your willpower, retweet them.

If you've had more than 3 drinks, put it down.

Before you join a Twitter pile-on, ask yourself: Were any living things actually harmed by the target's bad joke/dumb opinion/choice of prom dress? If the answer is no, slowly back away from the burn pile.

If you accidentally favorite a little light BDSM action, blame your staff. If you don’t have staff, blame your dog.

Never, ever, ever cross the hyena community.

Make sure you are logged into your fake Twitter account before tweeting compliments to your real Twitter account.

Delete Twitter.