Just, uh, say it was fake news.
"Just, uh, say it was fake news." WIN MCNAMEE / GETTY

Where have all the volunteer firefighters gone? Rural communities across the country are experiencing a shortage of their beloved fire-fighting volunteers. According to the National Fire Protection Agency, volunteer firefighters save localities a whopping $140 billion each year, reports KING 5. At Washington’s Mountain View Fire and Rescue, they have gone from 100 volunteers to 40. As the older generation of volunteers retires, the younger generation is simply not taking up the mantel.

The Case of the Ballard Bell Burglary: Some thieves who were up to no good crept onto the Ballard Elks Lodge property. There, without a whisper or a chime, they made away with the 130-year-old and 800 pound brass bell there and stole into the night, never to be seen again. How? No one has a clue. Community members had hoped it was just a prank. Local scrap yards reported they had bought pieces of what looked like brass bell for $200.

Trump criticizes Theresa May, backtracks: Never one for diplomatic tact or any other sort of tact, Donald Trump unleashed a litany of criticisms undercutting Theresa May in an interview with The Sun. The publication of the interview came after Trump riled up NATO, alluding to how the U.S. could leave the alliance if other countries didn’t up their military budgets. Of May, he said he had no faith in how she had handled Brexit and how he had more support for her political rival, Boris Johnson. He has tea with the Queen today. Luckily, as Trump says, they like him a lot in the U.K.

Except…: Londoners weren’t pulling any punches with Trump’s arrival.

UPDATE: In usual Trump fashion, he is now praising Theresa May a day after criticizing her. He also denies that the criticisms ever happened and is claiming “fake news” despite that the comments were made during an on-the-record interview. The UK-US relations are at “the highest level of special,” according to Trump. Someone put that on my Valentine’s Day card next year!!!

The Proud Boys increase their pride levels in Western Washington: By pride, of course, I mean controversial, antagonistic politics. The Proud Boys are Washington’s favorite fraternal society that backs Donald Trump and conservatives vehemently, loves the Second Amendment, and does anything to wage war with the left. Namely, The Proud Boys love to fight anyone who dares disagree with them. Usually, antifascist activists “anti-fa” fill this role. You’ve probably seen The Proud Boys and their black polos around at rallies like the Patriot Prayer at UW in February or the Patriot Prayer march in Portland on June 30. They're not going anywhere anytime soon.

The dog days of summer are here: Yesterday was the hottest day of the summer so far. It didn’t crack 90 degrees. It missed it by one degree. While 89 degrees is no record-breaker, that’s still pretty toasty. Did you get a sunburn? Don’t worry if you didn’t, you’ll get your chance. If this tasteful graphic from the National Weather Service speaks to you, maybe invest in a box fan this weekend — I learned last night those are actually a very effective way to cool a room. I want you to know that as I typed this a bead of sweat rolled down my side. Thanks!

Your favorite weekend roadblock is back! Revive I-5 isn’t done yet — what did you think? That these things happened quickly? Nope! Traffic nightmares will be the real horror this Friday the 13th and through the weekend. From 8 p.m. Friday to 5 a.m. Monday all northbound lanes beginning at the West Seattle Bridge to the Columbian Way off-ramp will be closed.

Murder charge filed in February shooting: A 17-year-old was fatally shot four times by Juan Jose Macias, 27. Prosecutors say Macias believed the victim had stolen from him. Macias was wanted on a domestic abuse charge from Jan. where he stuck a gun in his girlfriend’s mouth and then choked her into unconsciousness. He was arrested on the same block where he shot the victim and was charged with first-degree murder and first-degree unlawful possession of a firearm.

Amtrak train had mechanical failure before deadly crash: An Amtrak electrician pointed out an electrical issue with the train that would later crash in DuPont. According to him, his superiors ignored the warning. However, it is uncertain whether the electrical issue affected the braking system or played any role in the crash.

Papa Johns, mediocre pizza with a side of racism: John Schnatter will no longer be America’s Papa. His image has been pulled from the pizza chain’s marketing after he made a racist slur. Or, well, that he was revealed as a seeming racist. If you’re using the n-word it kinda indicates a deeper issue. He’s resigned as chairman and several MLB teams have cut ties with the brand. To rub salt in Schnatter’s wounds, a gym named after him in his hometown of Jeffersonville, Indiana will no longer bear his name.

Speaking of the MLB: The Mariners “got absolutely shellacked last night and our ace appears to be injured,” according to my new go-to source of baseball information, Harry. I don’t care about baseball. He does. It’s symbiotic. To decipher that play-by-play, the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim — let’s not even get into the train wreck that name is — beat the Ms 11 to 2. “Our ace” appears to be James Paxton who, after a quick google search, is the starting pitcher. He left the game after the first inning.

But, who cares about baseball when you have the World Cup? The final match between France and Croatia airs at 8 a.m. I will be watching ravenously while consuming alcoholic beverages earlier than any sensible person should as well as pancakes. I love soccer and I will be very sad for this beautiful tournament to end. Find out where to watch the game around Seattle! My watch-party is private but if you guys want an invite I can put in a good word with the host.

FIFA is asking broadcasters to quit focusing on beautiful women: If you've seen the World Cup you've seen the reaction shots of all the hot female soccer fans whenever something notable happens in a game. FIFA wants this to stop in order to combat sexism. Be the change, FIFA.

Chaos strikes at the heart of our nation — Build-A-Bear Workshop: I know. Say it isn’t so. It turns out Build-A-Bear Workshop is not only still relevant but it’s actually pretty popular. A “Pay Your Age” bargain event yesterday ended in tragedy and heartbreak as parents lined up for six hours to get their children unbeatable stuffed bear prices. So what, you say? The toys are usually $10-$15 but with additional accessories the prices can exceed upwards of $100. The turnout was unprecedented. Authorities had to be contacted for crowd control. The event had to be cancelled. The company is offering $15 vouchers.

They do move in herds: That’s a Jurassic Park reference. I re-watched that movie for the umpteenth time last night. Look at nature at work here:

Headline of the week: I wasn’t here the rest of this week so am I really qualified to determine what the headline of the week is? Yes. It’s this: A Family of Woodchucks Ate Paul Ryan’s Car

Fun fact for your Friday: Sunburns don’t hurt until you get out of the sun because the burn is caused by cells dying in response to DNA damage from the sun. It takes time for the damage to register and for apoptosis (programmed cell death) to occur. After that, the burn begins. The pain is mostly caused by the inflammation response to these cells dying. By trying to help the situation, your body causes more pain. Wear sunscreen, you idiots.

This weekend's best Seattle entertainment options include: The Chinatown-International District's DragonFest, yoga classes and art tours at Summer at SAM, and the Ballard SeafoodFest