Our hero, or at leaest one of her bffs
Our hero, or at least one of her bffs valentinrussanov/Getty Images

Comes from Refinery 29's Money Diaries, an ongoing series in which "human beings" record a week's worth of spending. They are, apparently, real people, but this one reads like a parody of a rich girl's inner monologue.

The rich girl in this case is a college-age marketing intern who lives in New York and makes a mere $25 a hour.... plus an extra $300 monthly allowance she gets from her grandpa and the $800 monthly allowance she gets from her parents, who also—surprise—pay for her rent, phone, health insurance, education, and Netflix, Spotify, and Amazon accounts. But before you start feeling too outraged, the diarist acknowledges her own privilege (if throwing in a hashtag "#blessed" counts) and has a very expensive cold brew habit to support.

An excerpt:

9 a.m. — My alarm goes off and I quickly switch on my work laptop to see if I have any emails. Per usual, I do not. I finish up packing for the weekend and head over to my boyfriend's, since we're getting breakfast together before I leave. I call a Lyft Line because I can't carry my purse, weekend bag, and work briefcase on a 20-minute walk. $4.87

10:33 a.m. — After working for a bit at my boyfriend's place, we head over to a local juice bar for acai bowls and smoothies. We had originally agreed on going to a diner, but BF got up early to go to the gym and feels like eating healthy. I don't complain. He pays for his smoothie and my bowl.

12:15 p.m. — I walk over to Equinox for a hot yoga class. I love to exercise before weekend trips. Makes me feel like I'm starting on the right foot.

1:34 p.m. — Class was amazing. I shower and get ready for my two and a half hour car ride. I'm so thankful for the Equinox amenities. They make living on the go so much easier.

2:05 p.m. — I arrive at my friend's apartment to meet up before we drive to the Hamptons. Before the whole group convenes, I run to Sweetgreen to pick up lunch. I make a custom salad and add tofu because I'm so into it these days. $11.70

3:30 p.m. — We decide to pick up some wine before the trip. I buy a bottle of rosé and a Gavi di Gavi. $32

And then, the next day:

8:07 a.m. — I wake up with no alarm, feeling sooooo well rested. My friend texts me and asks if I want to go on a run. I haven't run in forever, but the idea of trotting along Sag Harbor Road sounds fantastic. My other friend books a Barry's Bootcamp class and offers to drop us off at the beach so we can run back home.

9:30 a.m. — We make it back to the house in 40 minutes. I still can't believe I ran 3.9 miles after months and months of not running long distances. I'm so happy I got up to exercise. By the time we get back, the rest of the girls are up making breakfast. I have avocado toast, scrambled eggs, fruit, and a coffee.

11:12 a.m. — The girl squad gets ready to go out on my friend's boat. Her dad offers to take us out on the water for the afternoon, and I couldn't be more excited. I grew up boating and absolutely love the ocean. A few of us bring the dingy out so we can tube and drive up to the beach later. On our way to the marina, we pick up food. I get a piece of salmon, a freekeh salad, and a cauliflower salad. $22

2:11 p.m. — Finally we arrive at Sunset Beach. The water is rough, and we wish we hadn't taken out the dingy. I would've much rather been on the big boat. All the rosé is gone by the time we raft up.

The horror! The whole thing is so over-the-top obnoxious (she seems to subsist entirely on salmon, avocado toast, and feta) that it seems like either a parody or a clever attempt by Bernie Sanders to alert us all to the scourge of income inequality, which, apparently doesn't even require all that much income as long as mom, dad, and grandpa are ready to Venmo. Welcome to America. #Blessed.