It's been a few months since I wrote about the perponderance of dudes jerking off in public as soon as the beach towels come out, but yesterday I got this wonderfully weird email from a reader (who shall remain anonymous) and will now share with you. Trigger warning for public anal play and you're welcome.

Just read your article on public masterbators in Seattle and I couldn't agree more. A couple of years ago I was at a Seattle park with my family and there was a guy who was alternating between 1) masturbating, 2) fingering and sticking objects into his anus, and 3) sticking his butt out and shaking it.

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We got out of there and did end up calling the police. Later I saw a police report in the blotter that said multiple residents that live adjacent to the park (who essentially have the park as their backyard right out their window) called the police to say there was a man exposing his genitals and posterior and "pleasuring himself in multiple ways." He was arrested for indecent exposure. Honestly I have yet to return to that park.

I'm certainly not a prude and am not offended by nudity but unwanted exposure and especially masturbating and—pardon my language—fucking random objects in full view of people who want no part in seeing that is not ok. And it seems to be surprisingly accepted in Seattle. I've witnessed multiple other incidents on beaches of guys pleasuring themselves as well. Not cool.

Remember this, Slog readers, the next you're tempted to stick things in your butt at the park: It's not cool... unless you get prior consent from everyone who might see and/or hear you. I'm sure if you ask nicely they'll grant it.