I’m a gay man, late 30s with a great husband. He’s handsome, successful, kind, etc. We’ve been together for over ten years and we’re now exploring threesomes to spice things up.

The problem is that we’re both busy and finding a 3rd is time consuming and frustrating. Our schedules are hectic and vary. Spending hours online hunting for a 3rd is usually unsuccessful. Finding someone into both of us (and us into them) is hard.

I want to hire an escort (they’re discreet, professional, will show up on time, pay us both attention, etc.) but my husband is totally against it. He feels it’s wrong to pay someone to have sex with us. He wants our 3rd to have a real attraction to us. I don’t have this hang up. I’m completely ok with paying for a service that is mutually beneficial. I would treat the escort with the utmost of respect. How can I convince him that paying for a sex worker is okay?

Wants A Threesome

Your husband never told you that paying for a sex worker wasn't okay, WAT. He told you that he doesn't want to fuck someone who isn't attracted to him.

So the problem here isn't a husband who objects to sex work on principle or as a concept. He just doesn't want to fuck someone who isn't genuinely into him or into you or into you both. That's not a hangup on his part, WAT, that's him knowing what he needs to respond to become aroused by someone. Your husband needs to be wanted, WAT, he needs to be desired.

Paying for sex trips a particular circuit breaker for some people and then it's lights out—or it's cocks limp. A guy like your husband just can't get it up for someone who he worries, suspects, or knows doesn't really want it. And while winding up in bed with a male escort who's legitimately attracted to your objectively handsome husband is a definite possibility, your husband's inability to know for sure that an escort is into him—and not faking interest to set him at ease and/or to make rent—is going to chase his erection away just the same.

I have it on good authority—ahem—that gay couples can and do find willing thirds where singles find willing seconds: the hookup apps. It may take a little longer to find the right third on the right night, WAT, but if you wanna have more than one threesome with your husband—and I'm guessing you're gonnawanna use this spice more than once—then you're gonnawanna take the time to find the right third.

Your husband has already made it clear he doesn't feel good about fucking an escort. So drop the whole escort idea, WAT, and open your preferred hookup app instead.

Listen to my podcast, the Savage Lovecast, at www.savagelovecast.com.

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