Counterpoint: I Don’t Hate Pineapple Pizza, Because It's Pizza

Comments

1

Can we please let this be the last comment.

2

Nope.

3

Do you have celiacs disease or are you hopping on the Gluten Free fad? If it's the former, my deepest sympathies as I have friends that have it and it's a very tough disease; if it's the latter - you folks are dreadfully annoying.

4

This would be a great except for the last two words in parentheses.

5

I hope Charles has to stand next to someone riding light rail with their dog sitting on a seat and suitcases in the aisle as they eat Hawaiian pizza.

6

@3 many non-celiacs have trouble with gluten, you're just a culturalist controlling ninny, as too mudede. not an autonomous bud among you.

7

Here lies andy
peperony and chease

8

@6: Not culture control, more like let's belabor our dear friends in the restaurant with your GF pondering as the waiter is taking our order.

9

@8:

Some of the best pizza I've had recently has been GF/DF and I'm neither Celliac/Gluten or Lactose Intolerant. Razzi's, Rocco's, Palermo, Romio's, MOD, Olympia, MAD, Zeeks, Turnpike - Hell, even Pagliacci all offer GF crusts, and several of these - along with a number of other local establishments - offer GF AND Vegan options.

Instead of viewing this as some sort of imposition or (Heavens forfend!) "belaboring" of their staff, there are more than a few pizza restaurants in town that have figured out it's actually GOOD BUSINESS to cater to this category of customer, and they've seized the opportunity. Isn't that exactly the sort of Capitalistic resourcefulness you conservative types are always going on about?

10

@9: Of course dear. I totally agree.

Sorry you can't nuance an anecdote, but just extrapolate it beyond proportions.

11

@8 it is normal to wonder what one might be eating, but if eating with the impatient like you or with righteous snobs like mudede, then somehow curiosity and autonomy must be discarded or society will collapse under the faddy bulk (imagined by culturalists).

12

@10:

You're about as nuanced as a sledgehammer on a ripe watermelon...

13

@11: It's simply that some, not all, food and chemical sensitive friends quickly become high-maintenance friends. We all at first graciously accommodate their special requests, but some feel the need to talk ad nauseam about their condition when it's no longer practical (or of any interest to anyone else) to do so.

14

Pineapple on pizza is the culinary equivalent of splattered feces on a wall as art. However, if one takes that some culinary abomination and simply applies fresh jalapeno pepper slices, it is magically transformed from wall poop to a magnificent Davinci masterpiece. It's super weird how that works.

15

@14: Sounds great. I think dicing the pineapple along with the jalapeños and then adding would make it even better.

16

Now that the Hawaiian pizza debate is over, can we talk about the real crime... SUN-DRIED TOMATOES? How does this early 90's holdover continue? (when I see them at pizza shops I always picture the slice with a tiny flannel tied around its waist.)

17

@13:

Nonsense. I cook GF/LF/Vegan meals all the time. If you make it appetizing enough, ANYONE will eat it - and often, if you don't tell someone who doesn't have intolerance issues, they'll never know the difference. Having seen first hand how adversely even small amounts of gluten or lactose can affect people, I would venture to guess they have to "talk ad nauseum" about it in order to constantly remind you, because otherwise you'd keep ignoring their legitimate dietary concerns.

18

@17: Yes, indeed the culinary aspects of what your saying are very true for which I wasn't referring to in the first place. We're talking past each other I'm afraid.

19

@13 having to suffer through their ordering now has become having to suffer through them talk about their interests. just say, "i'm/we're not interested in that let's talk about something else" then you don't have to be suffering + insufferable, but then, that means being honest, and an anti-autonomy culturist is far too above it all ("cultured" cf arguments against the potato and for bread when the former was being introduced to europe) to do that.

@16 sundried tomatoes have umami flavor, and predate the 1990s

20

If a tomato isn't actually dried in the sun (i.e., they use a dehydrator instead) is it still legal to call them "sun-dried tomatoes?"

I want to know if commercially sold "sun-dried tomatoes" are actually dried in the sun.

21

@20 FWiW, according to the "where food comes from" video I just watched they really do lay them out in the sun for over a week (but they first spend the night in a dehydrating room or are gassed with sulfur dioxide).

22

Pineapple on pizza is a crime against nature, and it should be illegal—just like putting ketchup (yeccchh!) on Chicago hot dogs.

23

@22 Pineapple on Chicago pizza is a crime against pineapple.

24

@22 a-men!

25

@23 also a-men!

26

One minor chain (that I enjoy) has a few spattered signs about their joint saying they have neither pineapple nor Canadian bacon on their pizza... and then some choice words in Italian... The problem with this? Four out of the eight or so “by the slice” offerings have pepperoni on them.

Try to get a slice of pepperoni pizza in Italy! Just try to. My point is, Americans have no right to tell others what’s right or wrong on someone else’s pie when I’m betting an overwhelming majority of you claiming “pineapple on pizza is a crime against nature” would order something on yours that a chef from the country of origin would rather physically fight you than make a “that’s NOT a pizza!”