Dear Savage Love Forum, you’ll never believe this...

Also LW, pix or It Didn’t Happen, and get thyself to a meeting post-haste.

WHIGMI types well with one hand.

over/under on the post number in which "LW" shows up? I say 68.5

Fake or not, it certainly worked for me...

I always get the feeling these are written either by women (who apparently are more capable of being turned on by story material than men, I'll have to find the research paper on that but pretty sure I've seen that cited properly before), or by older guys from the old days of the internet, when text-based porn was much easier to load than low-res pictures which would take an eternity just to load, let alone save if you wanted to eat up precious memory with them.

Either way, I appreciate that this letter was so bold in being so very fake and so obviously porn. It's rare to find letters that make no attempt to hide what they are, and although this story is bad, I respect its candor. There's a stark integrity which I feel I must honor.

Finally, some Ocean's 11 erotic fanfic.
I'm surprised it wasn't peppered with more adverbs.

I do believe LW is scripting a movie. We've got movie star good looks, sexual tension, a dramatic and unexpected win, a nice setting (good job making it easy for the set people), the culmination, and ending with a nice sequel setup.

Tell George you will not be blowing any load in front of no woman. And that he needs to jump outta that closet and into bed with you post haste.

Sounds like they both need to go to fake AA.

Do people not know there are websites where thwy can publish their works of erotic fiction AS erotic fiction?

@10: but that wouldn't give LW any sense of a win, which is clearly important to him, being his major plotline. Guy is competitive.

If you google the story you’ll learn that, “… it is widely accepted as her best work ever, despite being Mrs. Pence first foray into slash fiction.”

At least this one wasn't a Shakespeare plot.

As for the response, at least it fit with what we've already learned about Mr Savage's private tastes.

Thanks, Dan. Nice to know that I'm totally into gay male porn. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I was most offended by the second sentence: "I apologize for the length." The writer is in no way sorry about the length. Don't lie to us, pal.

Also, the concept of drinking "Jagers". Gross.

I hate to bust everyone's bubble, but I suspect this one is fake!

erotica writers that dont write erotica alway crack me up

This actually sounds like to plot to the movie Querelle by the great German director Rainier Fassbinder, his last film. So if its a fake it isn't even in original. And in Qurelle Brad Davis starred.

Talk about a rambling, "alcoholic haze"-inspired, dime pulp "Gays of our lives" plot line—even if were edited down to three paragraphs it would still be too long. #sideEye

Whose fantasies involve drinking malibu and pineapple or jager? I conclude it must be real. No one would imagine that.

7/10 ...fair effort. Not film worthy.

Honestly, this doesn't even pass muster as a good fap forum letter for me. Too many inane details. Who needed to know so much about the LW's ins and outs with Wordster? Also, what the fuck is Wordster? LW is clearly working on his erotica novel, cutting his chops here with Dan, for whatever reason. Let's hope he's moved on to publishing better shit, perhaps something with anal-sucking vampires and the women who edge them, who knows.

Watching “Paint Your Wagon” was more fun than reading that drivel and remember nobody in “Paint Your Wagon” could sing worth a sh*t.

I agree with John Horstman @10. Just go on to A03 or fanfiction.net and publish your Ocean's 11 dirty fanfic, LW.

There is literally no straight man in the country who would act like the George Clooney clone in this letter.

Perhaps the LW will post a report of the second masturbating session in the comments.

Holy smokes, WHIGMI!

"What do you think I should do?" Write some more hot erotica for us, please. At least the Part Two. Thanks in advance.

@20: for the win!

Bumhole Blue @ 23
Lee Marvin?

May I suggest LW submit it to Literotica? And the follow up stories as well.

Sigh, I'm not getting any sex either LW. I'm all sympathy.

@20 - Assuming this was written by a woman, I'm guessing she also doesn't' drink.

Maybe submitting this to Dan is LW's way of testing the realism of their writing. Sorry, LW. Nobody's buying it.

LW, when you post Part 2 to Literotica, post a link in the Comments of the next day's letter to Dan, please.

I'd like to see the bartender take a more participatory role.

@3 Sportlandia
I'll take the over. Since (I just noticed that) this letter is a re-run from 2012, and the LW didn't show up at all in it's original comments https://www.thestranger.com/blogs/slog/2012/03/06/12923811/sl-letter-of-the-day-i-never-believed-those-letters-i-read-in-savage-love-until/comments

@10: That's not their kink, and getting one or two readers on whatever slash site versus thousands here?

George and Michelle can ass fuck him at his place. Maybe he'll be more 'relaxed' in a familiar environment

Never thought I'd stumble upon a George Clooney and Jason Segal fanfic...quite the combo. Perhaps they should post this on AO3 or tumblr? And as other commenters noted, it's almost for sure written by a woman. Slash fics are a thing for a reason...