tell jeff your woes

Which occupation takes transit the most? You guessed it — college professors! About 28 percent of college profs are commuting via transit, according to the Seattle Times’ Gene Gene the Data Machine. Gene also discovered that the other two occupations commuting up a storm are housekeepers and computer programmers. The holy trinity. Thanks, Gene!

Tickets for the 14th Annual HUMP! Film Festival On Sale Now!

Seattle won’t follow federal ruling about not prosecuting the homeless: Cities can’t prosecute people for sleeping outside if they have nowhere else to go. That was the ruling in a federal appeals court this week. Seattle says it doesn’t ban these activities, so it's exempt from the ruling, according to Seattle Times.

Whole Foods is not interested in being Amazon’s bitch, seeks to unionize: A group of Whole Foods employees sent a letter to other Whole Foods employees stating their concern about how things are going under Amazon. The letter also listed demands such as a $15 minimum wage, 401(k) matching, and better benefits. There’s a bunch of anxiety among the workers that Amazon will keep laying people off and trimming the labor force; they’re unionizing to protect their jobs. The workers also sent the letter to Whole Foods CEO John Mackey and Our Good Pal Jeff Bezos (of Amazon acclaim).

Wrongful-death and civil-rights lawsuits ends in $13 million settlement: In 2013, an unarmed black man was killed holding his 4-year-old son during a four hour SWAT stand-off. A sniper killed him. This is the state’s most expensive police deadly force verdict to date, according to the Seattle Times. It’s a tough story, read the whole thing.

Tut, tut, looks like rain: The rain will be later. For now, we just have cooler temperatures.

A Storm is coming: We’ll all be able to pay tribute to the real heroes of our city today once the Seattle Storm flag is hoisted on top of the Space Needle. Seattle moans and groans about not having a NBA basketball team, when look! There’s a basketball team right here and they’re headed to the finals! Seattle should pack KeyArena tonight. Seattle is playing the Washington (DC) Mystics.

Jenny from the block: Mayor Jenny Durkan loves basketball. She lives for basketball. How could we forget this? Anyway, Durkan is talkin’ some smack on Twitter in preparation for the game. She and the DC mayor are trying to see who the best Washington is. Maybe the one that’s a state and where Donald Trump doesn’t live? Just an itty bitty guess. Recover from this one, she really went for the throat here:

The quest for HQ2 continues: Amazon is playing its own version of Bachelor in Paradise. Except in this version, Jeff Bezos is more supreme overlord/father figure and paradise is this shithole of a country. GeekWire is itching to figure out who will win Jeff’s rose. According to the number of open Amazon positions in each HQ2 finalist region, the DC/Virginia area is most likely to become Amazon’s new resting place. That area has the highest number of available jobs and is followed closely by New York, Boston, Dallas, and Austin. Maybe DC and Seattle aren’t so unlike each other after all…

Meanwhile, Bernie also wants to STOP Amazon: Oh man, Bernie Sanders’s bill is called “Stop Bad Employers by Zeroing Out Subsidies Act” aka Stop BEZOS. He’s subtle, that Bernie. Anywho, Senator Bernie Sanders and Representative Ro Khanna from California introduced the bill to tax companies with more than 500 employees if their employees are receiving government aid through programs like food stamps, Section 8 housing subsidies, Medicaid, and more. The companies would be taxed the total amount of the benefits.

Brett Kavanaugh makes me sick: What did we expect from a man named Brett? We anticipated the anti-abortion stuff, we would’ve been foolish not to suspect just a helping of racism… but this? He’s a bad man with bad taste:

Dallas police officer mistakenly went home to the wrong apartment, killed the man inside: The officer returned to her apartment complex and entered the wrong unit on by accident. It's unclear how she was able to get in. There was a strange man inside — presumably the rightful tenant. The officer shot him. He was seriously injured and died shortly thereafter. An investigation is under way.

This seems valid: Hockey Hall of Fame asks NHL players to stop doing keg stands on Stanley Cup.

Elon blazes up, Tesla stock tumbles down: Elon Musk went on Joe Rogan’s podcast The Joe Rogan Experience and rambled and hit a joint (reports say it may have actually been a spliff) for two and a half hours. Two of Tesla’s top executives resigned and the video of Musk’s interview surfaced overnight. Tesla’s stock plunged 9 percent. Bummer. Read why Joe Rogan's podcast is no good.

A fun fact for your Friday: Butterflies sometimes drink turtle tears to get the necessary sodium for their diet.

This weekend's best Seattle entertainment options include: A live taping of the local storytelling podcast Risk!, Grand Illusion Cinema's titillating SECS Fest, and Bacon Eggs & Kegs.