Lock her up!
Lock her up! GETTY IMAGES

As The Stranger's fresh meat, Michael Bell, wrote in Slog AM this morning:

Experience music on the meadow! Final ZooTunes lineup announced!

Perhaps our real hope is an impending resignation: Oh this is big—Paul Manafort, Trump’s former campaign chairman is reportedly entering a plea deal to avoid a second bout in federal court. This is breaking news, and not all of the details are available yet. A plea deal puts us just this much closer to what I believe will inevitably result in a resignation. Likely, there will be a short period of time where Trump unleashes a bonanza of ludicrous tweets, followed by a peculiar silence—then, suddenly, he will wave goodbye from the tarmac, KFC bucket in hand, and get on a helicopter à la Nixon.

How optimistic, Michael. The President has been uncharacteristically silent on the topic, instead tweeting positive messages of support about Florence.

Just wait until the middle of the night when his handlers go to bed. Meanwhile, the New Yorker has the skinny on Manafort's plea deal:

Manafort will lose several properties, the money in several bank accounts, and a life-insurance policy, which appear to have value well in excess of ten million dollars. In exchange, Manafort was assured that he will spend no more than a decade in prison for the two charges, so long as he fully coöperates with Mueller.


Manafort—through his guilty verdicts in last month’s trial stemming from various financial charges and his guilty plea on Friday—has already deepened our knowledge of blatant corruption and illegality among those close to Trump. No doubt, he can help Mueller find out even more. (Though other potential witnesses, such as Allen Weisselberg and Michael Cohen, surely know far more about Trump’s own shady business dealings). But, in the end, the Mueller investigation will likely come down to one central question: Did senior members of the Trump campaign, with the explicit knowledge of Trump himself, actively work with Russian government actors to help sway the election so that Trump would win? If the answer is yes, then Trump will almost certainly be impeached and removed from office.

The Atlantic, obviously, thinks this is really bad for Trump:

Legal experts characterized Manafort’s move as a significant win for Mueller—and a big setback for Trump. “Manafort’s cooperation is a tremendous achievement for the Mueller investigation—maybe the single biggest development yet,” said Seth Waxman, a former federal prosecutor in Washington, D.C. “Manafort provides Mueller with an insider to the infamous June 2016 Trump Tower meeting and likely many other key moments.”

"Governor Moonbeam" plans on sending shit into space and making Trump suck it, per Reuters:

California Governor Jerry Brown on Friday pledged to launch a satellite that will track and detect the sources of climate pollutants, his state’s latest effort to challenge the Trump administration’s skepticism about the science of climate change.

Brown, who was nicknamed “Governor Moonbeam” during his first stint as governor in the 1970s in part because of a proposal he made at the time to launch an emergency communications satellite for the state, said California was teaming up with earth imaging company Planet Labs to develop the technology.

The 2020 Presidential race is starting to heat up. I'm sorry that we have to talk about these losers, but some announcements, per CNBC:

Bill Kristol, who served in the administrations of Republican presidents Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush, says his nonprofit organization Defending Democracy Together is seeking a GOP candidate to run against Trump in 2020.

"We are thinking of and doing preliminary work to prepare for a primary run against Trump," Kristol said in an interview on Thursday. "People aren't going to say they will run against Trump unless they have the infrastructure but I've been trying to persuade people that it may not be that difficult," he added.

Bloomberg is running, too. From NYMag:

It’s unclear how much support Bloomberg would have among Democrats if he were to launch a bid for the party’s nomination. But one Republican has come out in support of the 76-year-old. “If I were a Democrat strategist … and somebody said to me, ‘Who do you want to be the Democrat nominee for president of the United States?’ there’s only one name I would choose … and his name is Michael Bloomberg,” Corey Lewandowski said last month.

Snooze. It is the 603rd day of Trump's presidency. Here's hoping we don't have to keep doing these updates for much longer.