He had seen things. Terrible things.
He had seen things. Terrible things. Seregraff / Getty Images

President Donald J. Trump, if you want a military parade funded, look no further than Chile for inspiration: This picture of Chilean soldiers carrying puppies in pouches is a glimpse into my vision of utopia. One day those puppies will be fighting canines, and I’m sure all of the soldiers carrying them mean serious business—but maybe this is the first step towards a world that fights wars with cuteness, not violence—a world where we can replace every gun with a puppy.


Research macaque at UW strangles self to death: That’s right, The Seattle Times reports that a research monkey at UW got “tangled” in some sort of chain referred to as a “foraging device,” which apparently hooked around its jaw, eventually asphyxiating the monkey. This isn’t the first time that the incompetence of UW animal researchers has led to the death of a research monkey. Say what you will about the human suffering and disease that we can potentially mediate from what we learn through animal testing, but the conditions these animals are subjected to are below inhumane. If you find yourself agreeing fervently for animal testing, ask yourself, would you be willing to day in and day out torture highly intelligent creatures, even if it was in the name of science?

Vladimir Putin is just so hot right now: While Trump should be examining ways in which we can implement more puppies into the ranks, we all know he probably just has this on repeat.


What do you think it's like to be a woman?: According to a Pew poll on how Americans view women in regards to leadership, we think a lot of things. For instance, it says, “Democrats and Democratic-leaning independents are more than twice as likely as Republicans and those who lean Republican to say there are too few women in high political offices (79 percent vs. 33 percent).” The poll also shows that women are much more likely than men to see the structural barriers and double standards that can hold them back from reaching top positions in business. Wow, women are more likely to know what it’s like to be a woman than men do—who would’ve thunk it?

I-5 rated best highway for self-driving semis: INRIX, a company based in Kirkland that apparently specializes in “automated freight corridor assessment” has determined based off of four relatively simple, and sometimes difficult to believe pieces of criteria. For instance they say that I-5 is less congested on a 24-hour basis than other US interstates. The Seattle Times reports, “INRIX says the study is meant to start a conversation, in which trucking operators and states use its data to inform choices about future routes.” Ok, challenge accepted, let’s start the conversation—do you want robot semis on I-5?

Meanwhile, there’s a fire in Kent:


Here, take some cash for your white opioid problem: The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services said Wednesday that Washington will receive $29.8 million in federal funding to fight the opioid epidemic, reports The Seattle Times. Most of the money is designated for addiction prevention and increasing access to drugs that treat addiction. The rest will go to funding community health centers and other service-providing institutions. There is way too much to say on this issue for this tiny blurb.

Free healthcare! Only for the weekend though: Our own Lester Black reported yesterday that “For the fourth year in a row, Seattle Center is hosting the Seattle/King County Clinic, which brings together a broad array of health-care providers and nonprofits to provide services to thousands of people.” The free clinic starts today, and is located at the KeyArena. Please see Lester’s piece for more information on attending or volunteering at this free clinic.

Stray bullet in drive by kills grandmother: Man, this is painful. It’s just horrible, horrible news. She was at work at the time—an office manager at a chiropractic clinic. KING5 reports, ”the suspects were shooting from a vehicle at a man and his teenage son walking down the street. The two males were not struck, but the 51-year-old woman died at her workplace.

Daily dose of Gouda: People were upset yesterday that they didn't get their morning cup of Gouda, so today we are going with one of the most top tier Gouda pics we got. Enjoy:

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Tonight's best Seattle entertainment options include: Contemporary American drag icon Miss Coco Peru in The Taming of the Tension, the first night of the electronic music and virtual reality festival Kremfest, and a talk about the "self-interested altruism of today's elite" with Anand Giridharadas.