Reader Thoughts on Opening Marriages, Weed, and Getting in the Mood

Savage Love Letter of the Day: Reader Advice Round-up



I really liked the fact that LW1 did not disclose their or their spouse's gender. Dan, there was no need for a gender reveal here!

Good point by Mr Brotto: many of us need some time between whatever else we were doing and sex to allow our minds to relax and push out distracting thoughts. "Mood music" is a great trick here, also giving one's stressed partner a massage. Given the weed debate, I will refrain from recommending that the partners share a joint, as those who partake are probably already aware of this trick ;-) A glass of wine or cup of tea could also suffice.

To the therapist, "Their therapist will likely see signs of troubling pot use" does NOT equate to shaming someone over their pot use, so there was no need for you to be offended by this. As a therapist, you SHOULD be seeing troubling signs, whether they be drug or alcohol abuse, self harm, suicidal ideation, etc. Isn't that your job? You wouldn't "shame" a client for any of these, but you'd explore your concerns with them, I would hope.

Right on re ARARB. "Dad, would you want me to be going through a divorce right now instead of just a breakup? Gee, thanks!"


As an enthusiastic teenage recreational user of marijuana, it was mostly fun and games. As a current legal medical marijuana user (NOT fun and games, but extraordinarily helpful) I unfortunately have first hand experience of the depression side effect. However, the benefits of medical marijuana have far outweighed the negative side effects for me, but it’s definitely something people should be aware of.