Who is her anyway?
Who is 'her' anyway? sakhorn38/Getty Images

The Seattle Times is talking about corporate overlords, too: But the overlords they are talking about are a little more sickly sweet than the one I was referring to yesterday. Danny Westneat penned an editorial about the bullshit Initiative 1634, which is a corporate trojan horse initiative designed to restrict the taxation on soda. Soda is a delicate term for a devastating drug aimed predominantly at children, in which corporations dissolve as much brain-crippling corn syrup into water as possible, and then make it excitingly bubbly. I wonder what the Venn diagram looks like of people who want to ban certain cannabis edibles, and the people who don’t want a tax on soda.

Lock who up? The famous Trump rally chant designated for Hillary Clinton has been appropriated for guess who? Dianne Feinstein! I think the word deplorable gives these people far too much credit. Can we think of a better word for a group of assholes who get a thrill from the idea of locking up old ladies?

Pledge your vote for Tammy Morales for D2 for a Green New Deal for Seattle. Vote by Aug 6.

Everett building repeatedly hit by cars: There is a building in Everett, off of a precarious turn in the road, that has been slammed into by 4 cars in a period of 3 years. There are only two possible explanations for this; either the building was cursed a long time ago in a conspiracy designed by Dianne Feinstein and the Clintons, or drivers are taking the curve too fast and the building happens to be located in a completely unfortunate spot. YOU DECIDE.

No: But maybe?

USA, arming the world: The USA sold more than $54 billion in military equipment to foreign governments in the fiscal year that ended September 30.

Hurricane Michael: I will supposedly be the strongest storm to ever hit the Florida Panhandle. I'll hit land soon

And this is how NASA teaches people about climate change without using the term climate change:

Michael Bloomberg is going by Mike Bloomberg now? Oh, and apparently he officially re-registered as a Democrat. But . . . did I miss the name switch? Was there a focus group that determined he could relate better to non-billionaires if he goes by Mike? We’ll see how the Democratic party responds during the primaries—perhaps since he is a billionaire he won’t be greeted by non-stop questioning of whether he is or isn't a real Democrat.

If that baby wasn't asleep it might not be as cute: But it is pretty cute.

Hey this is the “cool Pope:” Pope Francis said of abortion: "Is it fair to hire a hit-man to solve a problem? It is not fair. We cannot take out a human being, even if it is small." It should be no surprise that the Catholic Pope is anti-abortion, but comparing doctors to hit-men makes for some pretty silly bullshit. What is scary is that this type of rhetoric is at the same time both disturbing and sadly effective.

Excuse me? “An international team of Santa Clauses are training with ninjas in Japan to hone their gift-delivery skills in time for the holiday season.” A team of Santa Clauses? Ninjas? As a Jew I feel both confused and a little left out—I always thought there was only one Santa, and I had no idea he required ninja training. This could change everything.

Your Wednesday Breakfasts: Once again, it's approaching 8:00 a.m. and all I've had is a coffee. But get ready for the most depraved breakfast we've ever been sent . . .

From Meghan in South Seattle, I present to you something that no amount of words could possibly do justice to:


Meghan, you are both my hero, and the person I fear most.

From Kathy in far South Seattle (Dallas, Texas in fact), we received a much healthier breakfast. A breakfast for which I am suitably jealous:


And finally, from longtime Slogger Jim, we have a "baked potato, red bell peppers and onions, ham, Havarti cheese, fried egg with Marsala spices, avocado." Real nice, Jim.


Tonight's best Seattle entertainment options include: A show with unapologetically sleazy rockers Monster Magnet, a screening of the vampire film A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night, and BenDeLaCreme's Beware the Terror of Gaylord Manor.