The new lonely hearts club :/
The new lonely hearts club :/ GEORGE FREY/GETTY

Trump dating app prone to data leaks: Donald Daters, an app for the lovelorn Trumpster in your life, is not doing its job of “Making America Date Again” very well. Mostly, according to Motherboard, the app is “barely functional” and was “unable apparently to locate a single user in New York City identifying as a woman.” It also leaks personal data online. Love is pain, though, right?

Paul Allen is dead: We all knew him to some extent. His name was on our computer science buildings, he ran our favorite movie theater, our favorite sports teams, and that music festival he started was just catching on. Paul Allen passed away at 65 today from complications with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma. Bye Paul, I’m sorry you won’t get to see the next Star Wars movie. But it’ll probably be bad anyway.

Goddamn dams are killing the orcas: Or, at least, inhibiting their survival. Scientists are calling for four dams on the Lower Snake River to be removed so that the orcas have a shot at not being extinct. Those removals would boost much-needed salmon runs. Those fat, juicy Chinook salmon could mean the difference between life and death for our orcas. In the interim, scientists are advocating to boost the water level over the dams.

It’s going be nice all week! Nice? In Seattle? Now? Yep! It’s going to be dry. It’s going to be sunny. It’s going to be in the high 60s! Someone better take me to a pumpkin patch this weekend or what’s this all been about?

Zeus and Ziva win the Hambone award after 21 days in a grain silo: Two Spokane dogs, the aforementioned Zeus and Ziva, were trapped in a grain silo. They couldn’t get out for three weeks. Nationwide Insurance gave them an award. It’s called the Hambone award.

King County Sexual Assault Resource Center sees spike in donations: KSARC has seen an unprecedented amount of demand for their services in the wake of #MeToo and Brett Kavanaugh’s tumultuous (and fucked up) nomination to the Supreme Court. Generous sponsors have come out of the woodwork to keep KCSARC going.

Stop bitching on NextDoor and take this survey: Don’t just complain about your packages getting stolen off your porch on that neighborhood app or local subreddit, fill out this crime survey. It’s open until Nov. 30. It will probably change your life. Or it will help the police do a better job at being police. Maybe both.

Wait, one more for Paul:


Stormy Daniels has to pay Trump’s legal fees: Her defamation lawsuit against him was thrown out today. It was about a tweet referring to Daniels. The tweet, ruled the judge, was protected by free speech laws. Michael Avenatti, Daniels’ lawyer, wants to appeal.

Sears will quietly work on itself and emerge stronger than ever, one day: Probably. Sears declared bankruptcy last week. It’s going to close 142 stores. It wants to reconfigure, reshape, and become a leaner, stronger, sexier Sears. One day, maybe, Sears can compete with e-commerce and Amazon. Or, it may be destined to die.

I love this new Doritos Super Bowl Ad:


Two gay penguins are expecting! An Australian same-sex pair of penguins fells in love. They were given a foster egg to rear as their own. Their names are Magic and Sphen. Their love is pure and was made official when Sphen proposed by giving Magic a heart-shaped rock, according to the Sea Life aquarium. It’s beautiful.

Oh, also Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are expecting: Less exciting news, but the Royal family is going to get bigger starting in the spring. There's a baby on the way.