Short and Lonely and Not Willing to Settle... For the Advice I Gave That Other Short and Lonely Dude

Savage Love Letter of the Day

Comments

1

You know what tall woman is into men shorter than her? Nicole Kidman.

2

Definitely whine about how other people (even fat women, ferchristsakes!) have it better to than you do. That's a huge turn on.

3

I've attractive and I've dated short guys. Is it my preference? Not really, but then again, I'm not some shallow bitch hung up who only cares about superficial things. I've also known some attractive women who married short guys. The point is that most of us have to choose from the options we have and just go from there. LW needs to stop whining and figure out who is willing to give him a chance.

Even as a conventionally attractive woman who gets lots of male attention, there are plenty of guys whose type I am not. I'm a little prissy, bookish and highstrung, into the arts and not that outgoing. I tend to attract guys on the nerdy side, like doctors or executives, not necessarily the jacked guys I lust after, but still cute and successful. I don't think of it as settling or less-than. More like accepting my options.

LW should let his baggage go and pay attention to which women seem to respond positively- then head that direction when it's a mutual attraction. It's probably his attitude that is the biggest turnoff, not to mention that bitter guys with a complex tend to project insecurities....doesn't sound like a fun date!

4

Sometimes, we must accept our lot in life. You aren't attractive. Noted. Now, it's time to live life. Good luck!!

5

Hasn't this repeat already been repeated recently? It seems far too familiar.

6

I love little short dudes. And if they have blonde beards I'm in heaven.

But I'm a guy. Oh well.

I'd just say "confidence is sexy."

7

One of my co-workers tells me that her ideal type is average height, bald, and a little chubby. She's smart, attractive, fit, and I'm stunned every time she tells me this. So everyone has some ideal type, the trick is to be outgoing enough to put yourself in enough situations where you can meet the woman who is into short dudes.

8

So my Dad is unusually short (5’6”) and my Mom is unusually tall (6’). Part of the reason my Mom started dating him? He loved that she was tall. Thought it was awesome and beautiful. So my question for the LW is, is it just that women don’t want to date a shorter guy (and it’s true that many don’t) or is it also that you aren’t keen on your date being taller than you? Is a woman’s greater height relative to you a feature or a bug? Because I think the “feature” short guys have it a little easier too.

9

Accept yourself as you are. Work with what you got, and find the people who like it. Don’t worry about the people who don’t. It’s all any of us can do.

(Unless you’re a raging asshole, in which case learn and grow. I am talking purely physical traits.)

10

When I was in college, the 6'0" female high jumper on the team had a think for the 5'7" and professed having a thing for "elves".

They're out there. 5'2" is probably pushing the limit, your rejection rate goes from 19/20 to like... 99/100. Fetlife is probably your answer if you want someone who gets ladyboners for you.

11

That's a tough row to hoe. Anecdotes about men who are 5'6" or 5'7" aren't helpful or applicable, I don't think. There's a big difference to 5'2" where he'll often be the shortest person in the room, not just the shortest man.
I guess my advice is do what you can to make your body appealing otherwise and cultivate a happy, interesting life. Then you have to deal with what everybody who's outside physical standards deals with.

12

I'm a tall women. Generally men shorter than me don't want to date me and I'm not 6' I'm only 5'9". The average height of a man. I've been flat turned down because of my height many times. Many of the men who turned me down weren't even that much shorter than me. But as I've been told it makes them uncomfortable to date a woman taller than them. I'm actually quite sick of hearing about this as if it's gender specific.

My exs have ranged from 5'5" to 6'3"... Height is a stupid and arbitrary attribute for choosing a partner. I agree with Dan try some tall women.

13

Also a mate of mine is a bona-fide dwarf and he gets dates/girlfriends

14

My last comment sounds harsh which I didn't mean it to be... All I meant is its possible. I think my friend does OK because he has a big personality and he's always by far the shortest in the room. He's a really cool guy and everyone wants to be his friend.... Personality does count for a lot

15

I'm 5'4. If I were looking, I'd be delighted to date a 5'2 guy - IF we hit it off personally. If there were the slightest whiff of him feeling put-upon that I were taller, forget it, I'm not about to play the game of diminishing myself to reassure my partner. Treating me like a threat to your ego is not attractive; treating me with respect because you're secure enough to do so is great.

16

@1 idaho
Yes LW, contact Nicole Kidman!

But seriously, Tom Cruise and many of the biggest movie stars/most successful people are short. [Which is explained by https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compensation_(psychology) ]

In other words, while some women might not be attracted to your height, perhaps you can bring something else that's highly attractive (to, say, Nicole Kidman!) to the table.

And hey, even if you were tall you'd /still/ need to bring more than that to the table.

But I hear you, I sympathize. I'm highly aware that being 6'4" and male and white all had their unfair advantages in my society. I apologize; drinks are on me.

@2 tabletop_joe
DAMN I love that comment!

@13 Anemone
Peter Dinklage.

17

Seek out kinksters interested in macrophilia, aka giantess fetish.

18

I'm a short guy and have found online dating to be a wasteland when it comes to dating women. I met fewer than 10% of the women I've dated online, compared with more than 60% of the men I've dated. That said, I'm currently in a relationship with a woman I met online (who is taller than me), so who knows.

Lots of women who date online won't consider men under an arbitrary minimum that they've chosen. Those women passed on me without another thought. But I've never had a woman who I met at a party tell me, "You're funny and cute and I'm having a great time talking to you, but you're too short so let's just stop things here."

19

I had an awkward friend in college who looked like (and I say this with love) the offspring of Bozo the Clown and the Pillsbury Doughboy. He married a totally normal young nurse and produced several carbon-copy carrot-topped children. There’s someone out there for you.

20

I'm a tall woman, and the first short guy I slept with was awesome. Comfortable in his body, visibly cool with my size. As a result I've always had a positive attitude about short guys. Unfortunately, the 3 or 4 followup short guys I took for a spin were a let-down. They all seemed defensive, and would be subtly withering if I did anything that stretched or expanded my body. They clearly wanted me to shrink myself.

So my advice? Change your attitude about your body. Maybe take up rock climbing or ballet or unicycling or anything that makes you feel awesome and confident. Believe that you are totally a match for a taller woman. Yeah, some women still won't be into you, but you don't want them anyway. Take Captain Awkward's approach of not trying to appeal to everyone. Don't round your height up on your profile. Write a profile that says something like "short satyr seeks tall goddess." Screen early for the right ones.

(P.S. Long time reader, first time commenter. Hi everyone!)

21

Less than 5% of the women on the planet are Americans. Most Asian women and lots of Central / South-American women are shorter than or close to 5'2". And millions of women with those origins live in the US. If you insist on healthy* American women of Northern European descent, yeah, most will be taller than you (not that is a rule out - I'm 6'0" and a third of my better relationships were with women taller than me). But if you don't discriminate on ancestry, the world is your oyster.

*no one is over 5'2" tall in a wheel chair.

22

AMP @20: Welcome!

Letter Writer: Less than 5% of the women on the planet are Americans. Most Asian women and lots of Central / South-American women are shorter than or close to 5'2". And millions of women with those origins live in the US. If you insist on healthy* American women of Northern European descent, yeah, most will be taller than you (not that is a rule out - I'm 6'0" and a third of my better relationships were with women taller than me). But if you don't discriminate on ancestry, the world is your oyster.

*no one is over 5'2" tall in a wheel chair.

23

AMP @20: Welcome!

24

MA @18: "I'm a short guy and have found online dating to be a wasteland when it comes to dating women"

I think this is key. All the "be positive and outgoing" etc. etc. advice is useless when it comes to online dating because he won't have a chance to show his positive demeanor if his profile is being filtered because of his height.

Online dating seems to be the standard nowadays, but in the LW's case he should probably forget it and try to meet people in real life.

25

@24 I disagree... Yes to certain women he will be filtered out but that happens for all sorts of dumb arbitrary reasons on online dating. Hell I swipe no on a guy if he can't spell or make coherent sentences. I definitely swipe left on men who come across as negative and bitter. Also a lot of men's profiles read like resumes or a list of assets.... Have some nice photos of yourself... You don't have to be hot just look like a friendly and interesting guy... So many guys I've swiped right on because I thought they had a nice face. Not a hot face but a nice, kind face. Write something fun and original in your profile. I often swipe right on guys just because their profile was funny or interesting. Hell tonight I swiped right on a guy just because he said "Fun fact. I lived on the Galapagos islands for two years"... And I thought AWESOME!... I just want to talk to that guy.

26

Dan can we please do a post on advice for straight men on online dating from women... I and I'm sure many other women would love to give tips and see men up their game. So many profiles are just terrible and they need help. The problem isn't being short or not hot enough... Often I wonder if I'm missing out on meeting interesting and cool men I could connect with because their profiles suck so bad.

27

Hey short dude, I'm a tall lady - 5'10" and I wear heels. Been dating my current partner for 1.5 years; he's shorter by a few inches, and I lean down to kiss goodbye in my shoes.

Once upon a time, in my 20s, a shorter guy in my friends group rocked my world. We were friends, we hung out by mutually crashing on each others' couches between our Seattle/Portland trips, you get the drift of where this is going.

He broke the ice one trip when we'd gone down to Portland on a group trip to a beach house, which he was joining. On the first night, going back after dinner we were discussing where to put everyone in his house. I towered over him in cowboy boots as he finished saying "and you'll be in my bed," and grinned up at me.

I was so flummoxed - short guys never go for the tall ladies. But I wanted him, and it turned into a lovely FWB relationship for 1.5 years.

He taught me that my height isn't a turnoff to some shorter men, and thank goodness for positive reinforcement.

I've had a few dates be turned off by that, and I'm like "height is literally in my profile." Weirdest was the dude who complained about it during the second (last) time we had sex.

Anyway. I'm bi and poly, and the Stranger's comment section is a terrific/terrible place to say "hit me up", but I'm on Instagram under luckyredpen. If you want to date a tall lady, especially if you are also a lady or non-binary person, hit me up.

28

Girliegams @3: "I'm not some shallow bitch hung up who only cares about superficial things"
Wow, judgey much? Guess what honey... this comment shows you're wrong.

Mike @6: Right on. I've known quite a few shorter guys who just say "eh, I'm not everyone's cup of tea, so be it" and manage to date women of a range of heights. I'd dispute Dan's advice though. While unusually tall women may not get hit on as often, many of them are just as self-conscious about their height as short men are about theirs, and walking arm in arm with someone who is 5'2" is just going to make that worse -- as it will for the short guy. My advice would be to recognise that having a preference for slender women makes him a hypocrite if he faults women for preferring tall men, yes? And just go with the other qualities he has to offer, taking it in stride if women turn him down.

Al @18: Good point. Everyone has arbitrary criteria in online dating, that's how it is set up. A lot of these would not apply to people met in real life. Perhaps JCIL should do more speed dating or other singles events. Also, he never said he preferred tall women, that was a previous LW. He might actually have more luck looking for women who are 5'1" and under. Or just not ruling anyone out because of their height. Setting an example, as it were. :)

Professor @20: Welcome!

Anemone @25: "I swipe no on a guy if he can't spell or make coherent sentences."
Yes, me too! And I find myself currently involved with someone who is dyslexic. We met in real life, at a festival. If I had read anything he'd written before I slept with him, I wouldn't have slept with him. Not sure what to take from that, myself.

29

@8...5' 6" is nowhere close to "unusually short." My son is 5' 2" like LW. Its,really hard for him and I wish we had pushed growth hormones w his doctor. As a teen he had girlfriends - one was close to 5'4" and the other barely 5'. But it's always going to be hard and I do worry he'll end up alone, not by choice, because he's off the charts short.

30

I'm a 5'7" straight female. When I was younger, I only dated guys 6' and taller. Then around 20, I started dating guys over 5'9". Around 25, I started to realize the dating pool was shrinking and opened up to the possibility of dating shorter. I met this guy online and his profile was pretty decent, but it said he was 6'. When we met, I saw him walking towards me and realized he was a generous 5'5", probably closer to 5'3" and extremely skinny. I'm not fat, but I'm definitely sturdy, what some refer to as thicc. I could snap him over my knee like a twig, much like the first LW was saying. Even though he had lied on his profile about height, I decided to give him a chance. The date didn't work out so well, but it was a first date and I figured I'd give him the benefit of the doubt. We kept texting and I asked when he wanted to go out again and I never heard back. Was I self conscious? Yes, but I was willing. Maybe it's not the women that's the problem.

31

Oh. Awhile after that, I met a dwarf online and he was completely honest and upfront and his profile totally kicked ass. We talked for awhile, clicked, talked about meeting up, then I found out we were politically incompatible. However, I still have him a chance. A lot of people are more open minded these days.

32

@29. It is when your spouse is 6 feet tall and likes heels. His shorter brothers are all happily married too. Shortness is going to be an issue, no question. But it’s not the end of the world and nothing will make romantic success less likely than developing a chip on your shoulder or a sense of despair. Like I said, if you’re trying to find increased success, seeing women’s comparative tallness as a positive can only help. People like people who are attracted to them.

33

Milvia @32: "nothing will make romantic success less likely than developing a chip on your shoulder or a sense of despair"
Perfect comment!

34

BiDanFan @28: I'm not sure having a preference for slender women makes the LW a hypocrite. Everyone has their preferences. I am not a slender woman myself. I've dated men who preferred larger women, and I've been turned down by men who were put off by my size. Mostly, I've dated men who either didn't care or preferred a slimmer physique but were ultimately attracted to other things about me. At the end of the day, we're all attracted to different things in varying degrees.

I strongly agree with everyone who suggested LW put more energy into meeting women in person. People tend to only swipe right on their preferences.

35

Soph @34: Having preferences does not make one a hypocrite. Having preferences but whining about the fact that your target market also has preferences makes one a hypocrite. If he gets to rule out heavier ladies, he has to accept ladies ruling out short men. Not saying this particular guy is doing this; in fact, he does say "I get it." I hope JCIL has found some dates since he wrote in.

36

AS a long-time married guy, I tend to get lots of queries from single/divorced women on how to be successful at dating. Now mind, they are not interested in me romantically they just see me a safe male voice.
The LW needs to forget some sort of "ideal" type of woman he wishes to seduce and instead be OK with who he is. No, maybe this is not fair that the women get to decide whether (as Elaine put it on Seinfeld) he is "spongeworthy". Life is not fair!
My advice (same advice to male and females) is to involve themselves in social activities that they are genuinely interested in, yoga, drone license, kayaking, caving, whatever. There will be someone who is interested in you. When that person shows an interest in you;... get to know them! Good Luck. BTW the woman i married is quite a bit taller than me. She has informed me that she does not like it but I keep hanging in there. I am not a bad catch. ALSO I like the advice of 22: hispanic and a sian women tend to be shorter than the historical US avg.

37

I LOVE short men. (I hate standing on my tip toes to kiss.) What I don't love is whiny men who blame the world for their problems. This is an attitude issue, not a height issue.

38

@19 alarmingly, I suspect I might know that family. If there are two of them out there.... in any case, I know a guy who is about 5'2" and married a (very) tall, statuesque beauty. Their wedding pictures are amazing. He is dwarfed by her gown, and they kinda had fun with it.

In any case, I'm short, and uncomfortable about it. I hope I've never made a girl feel like she needed to shrink, but when I think about it, Idon't think I've ever dated anyone taller than me which might be a bad sign. Hmm.

I like short girls, and to the extent that I like guys, I like them very short. So it must exist, right? Eh? Please?

39

i'm about 5'9", about tall enough to be too tall as far as the dating market is concerned. and i will admit to having had a thing against short guys (now cured).

nonethless, i dated a short guy for a while. we met online, hit it off and had an fwb thing going for a time. i could look right over his head when we were standing. but, jackpot! we were more or less equalized in the horizontal orientation!

turned out my height is more in my legs while he was more equally proportioned -- so it felt like we were the same height in the sack.

lesson learned!!

i'll hand it to that guy -- he was bursting with self-confidence. he taught me that it truly is what's on the inside that counts.

40

I'm trying to reflect on how I've felt about shorter men, and here it is in a nutshell. It's not that I find short guys unattractive. Plenty of short guys are very attractive. It's that I simply wouldn't notice an attractive short man right away as I might notice and attractive tall man. Something had to draw my attention to him. Once I do notice though, the height stops being a factor- not an obstacle at all.

This is different from features which I do find unattractive. In those cases, it's possible that I would still be able to date or have sex with the guy, but it would be IN SPITE OF the unattractiveness of the guy. This is totally different with height. Assuming he's attractive and fun, the height really doesn't matter. It just makes it harder for him to be noticed initially.

I can't say that any of those guys were as short as 5'2"- I'm just not sure. So I don't know how helpful that is.

41

Cf. (39) A nice lady from Hawaii once passed on this gem in a conversation about too-tall men: “Honey, once you’re horizontal, it all works out fiiiiine.”

42

Hate to be the bearer of bad news but contrary to @39 and @41, I was in a relationship with a short guy for a while, and then a tall one. Going from one to the other I realised how much easier sex was with the tall guy, eg with the short one if I sat on his lap/ straddled him, I'd need to crane my neck down to kiss him. The angles just weren't right, with that and many other sex things. But then I'm 5ft 5 and have a long torso and short legs, which is less good than the reverse.

43

EmmaLiz @40: As I once said to a shortish male friend who was complaining that women prefer tall men, it's not that we all prefer tall men -- it's just easier to notice them in a crowd!

I was once dating men who were 5'7" and 6'7". At one point I was snogging Mr 5'7" and broke off mid smooch to say "This is awesome! I can kiss you without having to stand on my tiptoes and hurt my neck! Yayyyy!" Certain positions are better with taller dudes and certain ones with shorter dudes. It's all about creativity :)

44

Interesting that women 6'0" and over have, on average, more sex partners despite being hit on less frequently. I wonder if it's because the men who do hit on them tend to be more confident which is a turn-on. I'm a woman around the height of an average man. I've dated men a few inches shorter than me who loved my height and remarked on my sexiness in heels, even when the heels made me half a foot taller than them, and I've dated men a couple inches taller than me who felt uncomfortable when I wore heels that brought me up to their height or an inch taller. I always found those in the former group super sexy and confident and those in the latter group a little insecure.

45

Wasn't there a study a while back showing that short guys marry younger wives and are in happier marriages? Also, I thought shorter people tended to live longer and be healthier than tall people.

46

Future Cat Lady, that statement surprised me also and I would also like to know more about it. More sex partners doesn't mean that they are having more sex btw. It could be that they are less likely to have long term partners- maybe more dudes are down for a fling but not a relationship? (Just speculation, have no idea). The confidence factor makes sense- confidence is sexy, (but arrogance isn't- sometimes people mix the two up).

BDF, I do think it's true that women generally prefer tall men. But preference isn't the same as requirement. I prefer a man that looks like Idris Elba but if I required it, I'd be a very lonely person.

47

It might be that taller women have more sex because they find men less physically intimidating than shorter women do?

Emma @46, I agree generally (see the "all" in my comment) -- but when someone is seeking reassurance it's best not to say "yes, you're right, we'd all dump you for a tall guy if given the choice, may as well give up." :) Oddly, the fellow in question was about 5'8" so not what I would even class as short. It's odd what people are self-conscious about.

48

Here's one collection of anthropometric data from the CDC, which may help clarify relative heights - https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/series/sr_03/sr03_039.pdf

A lot of the studies I was finding were using self-reported data, which are unreliable for height (men especially tend to exaggerate by a few inches, and it's so common that most people's idea of what constitutes e.g. 6' is closer to an actual height of 5'10"), but the CDC study uses measurements conducted by trained personnel following a standard protocol (the CDC protocol tends to capture 'natural' maximum height a little better than some previous protocols that involve the examiner supporting and lifting the examinee's torso vertically, as it uses the examinee's maximum self-supported height). At any rate, a height of 5'2" may be around the 2nd or 3rd percentile of height (97%~98% of men are taller; I'm guessing, as the 5th percentile is reported as 5'4.3"), while 5'6" is at the 15th percentile (85% of men are taller). That's a pretty big statistical difference, and compared to female heights, it's an even bigger difference - a 5'2" man will be taller than 25%~30% of women (5'1.7" is the 25th percentile for females) while a 5'6" man will be taller than around 80% of women (5'6.5" is the 85th percentile for females).

So, I concur with the people saying that, in practical terms, especially in comparative terms to women, a 5'2" man is much shorter than a 5'6" man, and their situations aren't all that comparable.

I don't really have any additional advice - work on being a person who is enjoyable to be around, try not to be bitter, try to view rejection as the gift it is (women who consider a short stature a deal-breaker are not good partners for men with short statures; even if you did wind up dating them, they wouldn't be happy and you'd be constantly insecure) - but I wanted to put some reliable numbers out there to contextualize the conversation and anecdotes a bit better.

Personally, I had one friendly acquaintance in college who was under 5 feet, and a number of our women acquaintances swooned over him; he had long-term relationships with a couple women while I knew him, so I know height alone isn't a categorical deal-breaker. Being in a larger city helps, the fact that he kept himself fit (though not overcompensating-with-body-building muscle-bulgy - though, of course, plenty of women are into that, too) and had pretty symmetrical features almost certainly helped, and being personable, outgoing, and funny also helped. You can't do much about your height beyond wearing lifts, so work on the other stuff you can control that will make people more likely to want to be around you in general (for sexytimes OR friendship), and you're less likely to be bitter and alone (bitter isn't generally attractive to people), plus cultivating a good social group will mean that you have more opportunities to meet a wider variety of people who are also vetted to some degree by being friends or acquaintances of your friends or acquaintances.

Most of that is, of course, general dating advice, and it's certainly not a panacea. In my own case, trying to follow that advice, I last went 7 years without a date (and my recent girlfriend broke up with me two days after she wanted to go exclusive - she said she spent the intervening two days between those conversations panicking about how to fit a "boyfriend" into her busy life as a PhD candidate and bailed, though we're still in contact and may circle back around, depending on how much of that was true and how much was a face-saving lie). At least half of my infrequency of partners is almost certainly on me and not potential partners - whom I'm not interested in, my refusal to give third-party companies access to my Facebook data eliminating the possibility of using Tinder or similar currently-popular dating apps, my antipathy toward capitalism and normative "success" in a capitalist market context, effects of mental illness that cause me to socially withdraw - and I've learned to be more relaxed about it over the years.

Following advice columns (and their comment sections, which have a better cross-section of people generally than the letters/calls, since people writing/calling in by definition are facing some kind of problem, while commenters aren't) and anti-harassment/anti-sexual-violence social activism (which tends to focus on problems rather than what works well), I'm sometimes amazed that anyone ever manages to get together at all. On the other hand, I look at all the people around me that don't really have trouble setting up dates with people and finding people to date for at least a couple weeks (and potentially much longer - I'm differentiating between going on 300 first dates with different people and going on dates with people they like at least enough and who like them at least enough to have some follow-up dates), and I wonder what exactly it is that makes dating so hard for some of us. It may simply come down to random chance at some point - encountering people with whom one is mutually compatible, not just at all, but when they're not already involved and invested in an exclusive romantic relationship.

I actually think the bigger problem than some subset of people just not having luck finding partners is that we organize our society to such a large degree around the idea of the nuclear family and even couples more generally*, which makes single people not only lonely, but additionally heaps social and economic burdens on them (us) and erects additional barriers to a fulfilling life. The erosion of certain institutions that provide people with instant community - religion, civic groups - without replacements that fill the same social function is likely another contributor to isolation, as is an increasing expectation that labor functions on a national or even global supply model, requiring people to move more often to seek good jobs. So for anyone struggling to find human connection (romantic and otherwise) and community, part of it might be you (and there's lots of advice on how to address that), and part of it might also be society. On the plus side, putting energy into changing society can give one something to do, and it also happens to be a social activity that will itself directly connect one to other people with at least some shared values and perspectives.

*from housing access and costs and social expectations - e.g. multi-generational or shared housing is stigmatized for people in the young-middle to older-middle age ranges among the middle economic class and up - to employment expectations that assume sharing domestic and self-maintenance labor to legal rights for married couples denied to other people to childcare expectations and social support to a social dynamic of couples looking primarily to socialize with other couples etc.

49

@47 - I was puzzling over this myself. My best guess is that taller women are less likely to be approached by insecure men, meaning that their height is filtering out a lot of guys that would have otherwise been turned away before things made it to the bedroom.

LW - being lonely makes the search harder (no pun intended) because it adds a lot of pressure to your interactions with potential partners. Find time to get engaged in social groups not centered around dating where you can meet people without the presumption that you'll be trying to get in their pants. Join a mixed doubles league, volunteer at a local animal shelter, etc. You'll meet people with mutual interests and they'll have friends.

50

OK, you can look for tall women who are into short guys. But wouldn't it be easier to look for short women? I'm 5'2" and if I were looking I'd totally date a guy my height. I did for quite some time date a guy who was 5'3" and he was hot and great in bed. Personally, I don't care about height – I've also been with someone who's 6'5" – but if it's true that most women want to date taller guys, you'll have better luck with petite women.

51

Add me to the chorus of date bi/pan women! I'm 5'11", pan and enby (born female) and I've dated people from 4'11" to 6'8". I am taller than all 3 of my current partners (poly!) I care far more about someone's personality, sense of humor, hobbies and politics than what their height is or what's between their legs

52

George, is that you? George Costanza?

53

I wonder if this stigma around women dating shorter men is slowly fading. I've been noticing more and more straight couples in real life where the man is noticeably shorter, and just now scrolling through celebrity / fashion news, I came across pictures of two such couples back to back: Karlie Kloss and Josh Kushner, and Priyanka Chopra and NIck Jonas.

54

I’m a short woman (5’1) and I love short men. I don’t date tall men at all. I’ve often wondered if any other woman feels the same way, because every woman I’ve known or been friends with has a thing for tall men. I don’t hate on it, I just can’t for the life of me understand it. Even women shorter than me love 6’0 and over men. Above 5’7 and I’m compromising and my brain turns off completely at about 5’11—the closer in height to me, the better. Unfortunately, I already am in love with a short man, so I can’t date you.