A for effort.
A for effort. dolgachov/ Getty Images

How do we reach these keedz? Apparently four out of five voters think our state is failing to prepare kids for "the workplace," whatever the fuck that is. From the Seattle Times, "the state has recently launched a public-private initiative called Career Connect Washington that aims to link high school and college classes to jobs," and Governor Jay Inslee is a big supporter. He even went to Switzerland to learn more about their similar programs!

Spring Seattle Restaurant Week is back April 1 – 30. Showing support has never been so delicious!
$20 lunch and $35 / $50 dinner options. Venues offer takeout, delivery, indoor and outdoor dining.

Drivers prepare your chains, bikers, put on a coat: Also how is Scar from the Lion King a relevant gif here? You really need to get yourself a few more Millennials in there to get your gifs on point. See, that is the kind of work place my generation was properly trained for!

Seattle sucks for luck, but we aren’t the worst: The FYI Guy aka Gene Balk put together some comprehensive statistics on where you should and shouldn’t play lotto. If you want to win more often, you might have to move to Miami, Florida, where their win rate is at 53.7 percent compared to our measly 29.5 percent. If you zoom in on zip code in Bellevue though, 98039, their scratch ticket win rate is at 41.8 percent, so maybe you don’t have to move so far after all, but you do have to be able to afford to live in Medina.

Hindsight is 20/20, especially regarding humanitarian crises: Secretary of State Mike Pompeo and Defense Secretary Jim Mattis have now both called for a ceasefire in Yemen, amid the world’s worst humanitarian crisis where over 22 million people are in desperate need of humanitarian aid. As AXIOS reports, “Both [Pompeo and Mattis] voiced continued U.S. support for the Saudi-led coalition fighting in Yemen last month.” If you want to help or donate, the New York Times has put together ways you can, here.

Overnight police chase: A police chase that spanned two counties ended in Woodinville last night with guns blazing and a wounded suspect. Why is it that car chases always end in Woodinville? Which begs the question, do car chases always end in Woodinville?

Your crucial Halloween weather blurb:

But the bad guys will always find a way to get guns! That’s NRA reasoning for not making guns harder to buy. So instead our country makes them as easy as possible to obtain for anyone! And that’s why it shouldn’t be surprising to find out that all the guns purchased by the Pittsburgh synagogue shooter were purchased totally legally.

Eastern Washington teachers learn how to be James Bond: Not exactly. Teachers in the Dayton School District in Columbia County attended training to learn how to disarm shooters in the event of a mass-shooting. The training is called, “gap training,” and is meant to teach teachers how to act in the meantime between a shooting starting, and police arriving. That’s the reality we live in, people, paying for teachers to learn how disarm active shooters.

Animal populations learn how to not exist: This news is really disconcerting. The World Wildlife Foundation released their Living Planet Report on Tuesday, and the big bit from it is this. “The average vertebrate (birds, fish, mammals, amphibians) population has declined 60 percent since 1970.” The news is even worse for freshwater vertebrates which have seen a “86 percent drop since 1970.” So hug your freshwater frogs people, because they’re dwindling. This is that spooky news that works so perfectly on Halloween.

Carl Reiner teaches us all: I love this man. When Carl Reiner says shit has hit the fan, shit has hit the fan.

Wallingford Walk-around: Every now and then it’s important to take a page out of Charles Mudede’s book, and just admire something beautiful. Here is a beautiful, fall wall, in the aptly named Fallwallingford.

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Michael Bell

And while we’re at it, check out this gorgeous deciduous tree just off of 45th.

Michael Bell

Oh and before you scroll down to that comment button make sure to follow the advice (demand?) of my favorite yard sign.

VOTE! Michael Bell

Happy Halloween! Tonight's spookiest Seattle entertainment options include: A Halloween show with the Seattle drag scene's mischievous ringleader Cucci Binaca, a costume-encouraged neon-candy punk-pop show with Tacocat, Mirrorgloss, and Sleepover Club, a trippy film and music montage at Collide-O-Scope Halloween, and lots more.

Happy 420 from Herbs House in Ballard!
SAVE 20% Storewide Tuesday 4/20. Come Say High!