Wide receiver Tyler Lockett scoring a touchdown in yesterday’s game.
Wide receiver Tyler Lockett scoring a touchdown in yesterday’s game. John McCoy/Getty Images

Coming into this season, I was not high on this Seahawks team. I was, in fact, low on them. This was only because they got rid of a bunch of great players, hired a bad offensive coordinator, and didn’t seem to draft particularly well. Coming off of their first season missing the playoffs since Russell Wilson arrived in town? Everything was pointing down.

And yet, despite the team’s 4-5 record and their 36-31 loss to the Rams last night, this Seahawks team is way better than I expected. Way better! The pass rush is weak, but the secondary has been solid and Pete Carroll’s schemes have been working in an NFL where defense is basically obsolete. The running game is reborn, and when given permission, Russell Wilson can still throw the ball a little bit.

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Despite the quality of play on the field, things feel kinda bad right now. The Seahawks are 1-5 in close games, and now have back to back carbon copy “good losses” on their resume.

How were they the same? Well:

Keeping up with an offensive juggernaut from Los Angeles? Yup.

Falling behind on a dumb turnover late, but fighting back to give the team a shot to win? You bet.

Having that shot fall agonizingly short at the last second? Uh huh.

Oh yeah, it was replay city on Sunday. The Rams, like the Chargers, are really, really fucking good. But at a certain point you can only have so many moral victories. Let’s breakdown what will hopefully be the last “good loss” of the Seahawks season:

• Guard and large, vivacious gentleman D.J. Fluker was out on Sunday and was replaced by Jordan Simmons. Who the hell is Jordan Simmons? Well... Jordan Simmons is a football player, surely. Cursory research would suggest that he went to USC. And his name is Jordan. Little else is known about Mr. Simmons, except that he started over last year’s second round pick Ethan Pocic, who was available to play guard in Fluker’s stead. This bodes ill for Pocic, especially since in Pete Carroll’s postgame presser, he praised Simmons for being very big. Pocic is less big. If that’s what the Seahawks want from their offensive linemen than Pocic may not be their guy. The Tom Cable era: the gift that will never stop pissing on my leg.

• Speaking of, after a few good weeks, Germain Ifedi did some dumb stuff on Sunday, amassing a couple of crucial penalties. Naturally everyone turned on Ifedi, who was the team’s worst player last year, but has been fine so far this year. And me? I won’t betray Germain. I come here not to bury him, but to… well, not praise him either. I just think Germain is still fine. His pass blocking numbers are solid. He was not the dude getting beat when Russell Wilson was sacked four times on Sunday. The running game averaged like 50 yards per carry. I really don’t think we can dismiss Ifedi after a game in which he had two penalties.

• About that running game… first round pick Rashaad Penny is turning into an asset for the Seahawks, and he was VERY good on Sunday, would be great. I will never stop hating that pick, but it’s a sunk cost. It’s gone now. We can’t have that pick back. But we do seem to have a really interesting running back on our roster, capable of getting big chunks of yardage by using his lateral quickness. That’s good! He averaged a billion yards per carry, and looked awesome doing it. These are halcyon days for the Seahawks running game.

• These are not halcyon days for the Seahawks onside kicking game, however. Sebastian Janikowski blew a surprise onside kick that coach Pete Carroll was sure would work. It didn’t. He got a good bounce on the kick, but it wound up going straight at the only Rams player who had a shot at recovering it. The Seahawks still had a chance to win anyway, but man, that was dumb.

• Also dumb? Running any offensive plays with an empty backfield and a running back split out wide. So far this year the Seahawks have turned this formation into two pick-sixes and multiple sacks including the sack/fumble that led to the Rams game-winning touchdown. Brian Schottenheimer may be less of a backcountry rube that I initially suspected, but he sure loves this dumb formation. Why is it dumb? Well, it takes away Russell Wilson’s ability to misdirect defenses, and also puts a non-receiver in a position where he will have to make a catch. It’s so dumb and bad, and the results keep being next-level terrible. Stop it, Brian. Stop it.

• The Rams got hosed by the refs this week. Whatever, I’ll take it, but next time I whine about the Seahawks not getting calls, remember that I see things both ways.

• Bobby Goddamn Wagner. Another superlative game from the Seahawks second best player. If this team still had Earl Thomas… nevermind, let’s not go there…

• Who is the Seahawks best player? PUNTER MICHAEL DICKSON. In a battle of the league’s reigning punt king (Jonny Hekker) and the aspirant for the throne (Dickson), the young Aussie went full Michael B. Jordan in Black Panther on Hekker and took the throne. Dickson is the LeBron James of punting.

• Boxer Floyd Mayweather sucks. He’s an abusive piece of shit. I do not know why Tyler Lockett gave him the ball he hauled in to score a go-ahead touchdown, but I can only assume that is why the Rams came back to the lead. Similarly, Brandin Cooks of the Rams gave Mayweather another ball, and the Seahawks came back. The lesson as always: Floyd Mayweather is trash.


So the Seahawks need to go out and win. Hopefully their schedule gets easier going forward. *Glances at schedule.* Oh fuck, Aaron Rodgers is coming to CenturyLink this Thursday. The winner of this game will be right in the playoff loss. The loser will have another “good loss” on a disappointing resume.