The Washington Post has a special announcement from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration: throw away your romaine. Burn it. Compost it. Stomp it. Don't buy any at the store, don't buy those creepy salad mixes that might contain romaine, don't order it at a restaurant, and if you own a restaurant, then take it off the menu.
The Centers for Disease Control claims that the lettuce, which used to be a sacred Egyptian sex symbol because it looks like a dick, could be contaminated by a nasty strain of E. coli. From the Post: "32 people in 11 states have become sick from eating contaminated romaine. Of those, 13 have been hospitalized, with one patient suffering from a form of kidney failure."
This new E. coli outbreak comes on the heels of a romaine-induced E. coli outbreak earlier this year, which infected 210 people, hospitalized 96, and killed 5. Back in April, The Seattle Times reported that five Washingtonians—three in King County and two in Spokane— got sick from food poisoning after eating the lettuce. The FDA ended up documenting eight cases of illness in the state, though there have been zero documented cases here so far.
If you're looking for roughage alternatives, then just use kale, chard, arugula, any variety of butterhead, or just plain old iceberg depending on the application. The first two greens work well as foundations for a Caesar salad, and the rest will suit general sandwich/wrap needs. Too good for iceberg? Don't even start. Iceberg is fucking great.
