New Next Door Neighbors Force Woman to Watch Them Fight, Fuck, Shit, Trim Pubes

Comments

1

Did I miss the part where she asked them to close their curtains? I know they probably would not, but it seems like that is a necessary first step.

2

Cellular "honeycomb" shades. Or adhesive window films in frosted "ice" patterns or pseudo-stained glass. Both afford as much or more privacy than sheer curtains and let as much light through. And look better than sheer curtains which remind me of forlorn mobile homes in trailer parks.

4

buy shades that let the light in and count yourself lucky that any burglars will get distracted and traumatized.

5

This is America and we can do kinky stuff in our own homes if we want to. We can even do kinky stuff without curtains on the windows because freedom!

Hell, the Trump administration will probably outlaw everything but monogamous heterosexual missionary-position sex soon so we should all do as much non-vanilla stuff as possible while it's still legal.

(Even if the LW isn't in the US I stand by this comment.)

6

It's rude to ask someone else to fix a your problem when you have the ability to fix it yourself.

7

Gotta solution for LW. Build a small scaffold outside the window and mount little cut-outs to block the offending vista. Then they don't need to close thier curtains but don't have to see other human beings being human.

8

@3 Pijamaradus, what's incorrect about that use of literally? LW is saying it's not hyperbole - she literally can't look out the window without seeing into their apartment.

9

Two pieces of advice that: (1) get those blinds that pull up from the bottom to the top. This will let light in but will create some privacy. (2) If the sun shines and and can create some reflection, put a mirror in your window and blind the fuckers. Or just put a mirror up when you want full privacy so they can see themselves provided you are directly across from them. If you are above them in some way (which it sounds like with the upstairs comment), then those bottom up blinds will do the trick.

10

If you wanna go real passive-aggressive set up a camera on a tripod in your window. Don't need to turn it on, probably for the best not to, but it might give them a second thought.

11

Yeah, I sympathize with the LW as I get some pretty intense seasonal affective and pretty much always want as much natural light as I can possibly afford myself, even in the summer. But... I dunno, seems like they've plenty of options/workarounds available to them. Even on the off chance they're living in a studio apartment with perhaps ONLY a single window afforded them, well then I think I'd probably just doing some apartment hunting. One other helpful option that I don't think Dan or anyone else has mentioned yet are those sunlight mimicking lamps that are all the rage these days. I'm not sure about this, but think they may(?) even make ones that plants will respond to.

12

Well, Dan said everything I was going to say.

I once lived in an apartment where my bedroom window was four feet away, directly across from the neighbors' bedroom window, and they apparently did not work (at least not first shift jobs), given how loud and late they were routinely up, which was especially bad in summer (neither building had air conditioning, do open windows were necessary). I used my blinds and got ear plugs. These problems can be solved.

13

Original letter writer, on the off chance that you see this. How about top down/bottom up blinds? (I didn't make up the name). You put them up and then open the top (above your head) so light comes in but you can't see out and then can't see in.

It's stupid that you should have to spend $ to fix this problem when they're being pretty inconsiderate, but that might be the price you pay for staying in this apartment. Good luck.

14

@10,

Ha! That is passive-aggressive, though a novel idea!

@3, 8,

I've actually softened my stance on "literally." Various folks at slate have written about it a bunch. I couldn't find my favorite take on it that I'd read a few years ago, but this is a short and worthwhile read...

https://slate.com/human-interest/2005/11/the-trouble-with-literally.html

I'd agree with 3 that it's almost inconceivable that LW wouldn't be able to somehow position themselves in such a manner that'd allow them to look out their window without looking into the neighboring unit, though this seems needlessly pedantic. I live in northwest Portland, one of the most densely populated neighborhood on the entire west coast, and have been in some apartments that are probably fewer than 6 or 8 feet from their neighboring buildings. It's oddly claustrophobic.

15

I think someone else suggested it, but clear vinyl privacy panels that can be found on amazon for around 20 dollars. They come in lots of different patterns and while you can see through them, everything is blurred to the point of being unrecognizable. Or check pinterest for some cheap diy options.

16

@2 is on the right track, but I think their second solution — "adhesive window films in frosted 'ice' patterns or pseudo-stained glass" — ends up looking at least as forlorn as sheer curtains, especially after the adhesive on the edges has attracted dust and become dirty. Frosted glass spray that you can find in the spray-paint section at a hardware store is economical and a better look.

17

So--exhibitionism is their sexual kink.
She's forced to participate unless she leaves.
Why isn't this a form of rape?

18

Sheer top-down shades. Light and privacy!!

20

Perhaps this calls for a giant donald trump poster in the window, facing out. If they want to traumatize the LW, the LW can fight back.

21

@17 Because rape by definition involved penetration. Next question?

23

Putting a mirror up is a good idea, return their energy to them. Have you thought to mention to them again how their behaviour is not wanted viewing by you LW? Then again and again and again..until they are so sick of your visits or however you contact them, they will sort it their end.

25

Dan is slipping. The old Dan would have said put up a pervcam and monetize the exhibitionist MFers. Everyone is fixating on window treatments.

26

Or the LW could go the considerably less conventional route and enlist the help of a spellcaster. I just happen to know a guy from United States with a testimony and contact information he'd probably share.

27

Either this is fake or this person is an idiot. How much time do they spend in their bedroom? How hard is it to NOT look out the window? If they really are helpless to point their eyes elsewhere, they could move. But I bet they won't because they're secretly enjoying the view. (It took them THREE YEARS to complain?)

28

@26, nicely done!

29

I was thinking the same @28.

30

Fan, I think it’s just knowing they are right there, outside her bedroom window. Doing stuff and people. It would start to feel a little crowding.
Why do some people think their lives are so damn interesting that others want the panorama in their face. Gross.
If it is a house, as she called it, there must be other rooms she could use as a bedroom.

31

Concur with Dan. Also, I think it’s likely that what the LW said to the couple about how much she could see first came off as awkward, gross, and pervy.
If the context is someone telling you they’re a voyeur, responding that you’re an exhibitionist seems kind of sanguine.

32

@1: I thought the same thing. Maybe her "I can see you all the time" comment was misconstrued as flirtation instead of a complaint? The neighbors can't read your mind! Use your words: "I don't want to see your drape-trimming; please close the curtains!"

33

@31: Yes, exactly

34

Lava @30: If someone is that concerned about privacy, they shouldn't be living in such an urban area in the first place. Move, or if they own their place (the headline is the only evidence of LW's gender), plant a tree between the houses!

35

After all, the headline writer was wrong about these neighbours being "new"...

36

Old joke about an old lady who called the police to complain about a man walking around his house nude without the decency to pull down the shades. After they arrive.
"I'm sorry, ma'am, but I'm not seeing this man you're complaining about."
"Of course not! You have to stand on this stool and use these binoculars!"

37

I have an upstairs window that looks over the entire neighborhood, including a straight view to the apartments down the street. It's covered with faux stained glass film that not only provides excellent privacy but also looks gorgeous from both the inside and out.

38

Okay, yeah, I DO want to see a photo, or a sketch, of this amazing house that apparently has multiple large windows offering a full view of three entire rooms on one side, from which one can view EVERYTHING that goes on inside from the vantage point of a small bedroom window across the way. This includes of course the bathroom, which must open to a full view of the toilet plus the shower so the LW can observe both activities taking place there.

I mean, maybe that's how they build houses where this person lives, but you know, I've lived a few decades, seen a lot of living spaces, and I'm having trouble wrapping my head around this one. Like, is the LW living across from a doll house?

Anyway, I'm not sure what the LW is going for, but along with the oddities others have observed (would need to be glued to this small window for long periods of time to be able to observe all this stuff in such detail, after three years has never thought about better window treatments), there's definitely a whiff of bullshit about the story. At the very least it comes off as a dramatized/exaggerated version of a possibly real situation from someone who WOULD rather stew in their resentment than find a practical solution.

39

@20 for the win. Lol.

40

Suggestions, purely because the neighbors were so rude:

Seconded, the idea for a large, obvious camera pointed in their direction. Add a large print sign just below it that says, “now streaming live.” Don’t say where it’s streaming to. If they still don’t close their blinds, then monetize.
Get an incredibly powerful spotlight. Point it out your window and into theirs. Leave on at all times.
Take an up-close-and-personal shot of either your own butt or a horse’s back end. Have it custom printed on one of those vinyl treatments. Paste in window.

Otherwise...Jesus H, get some of the suggested types of blinds, already.

41

Why not call Dr. Roberts and make them disappear with a curse?

43

@34; Fan, I guess so. City living sure sounds close.
Reminds me of when I was a weekly boarder for one year at the convent, which was situated on a well known sex workers’ street. Gotta love those Catholic nuns senses of humour.
My room mate and I could turn our lights out each night and watch a guy across the road, walk around naked.

44

Seriously, FOI. Can't you put up your OWN blinds and / or curtains?
Ah, city dwelling. Luckily I live in a ground floor unit that faces a brick wall. The only thing I have to be wary of is keeping my blinds shut from the view of adjacent upstairs units--or outdoor workmen.

45

Many states have "peeping tom" statutes which the LW is undoubtedly violating. Looking into other people's houses through their windows or doors and watching what they do inside is considered extremely rude in most countries, and illegal in some (as some rude American tourists in France have discovered). She could end up in jail in a lot of countries. Just don't do it. The fact that these neighbors enjoy being watched does not alter the fact that the LW is invading their privacy. They are also admitted peeping toms, but that's a different issue.

It's bad if your windows look directly and closely into your neighbors windows - but that's a design flaw in the place that you live, not your neighbor's problem. They can do whatever they want in their own home, your duty by custom (and often law) as a neighbor is to respect their privacy and not watch.

And @17 - The law does not equate being a peeping tom with being raped. You've got some serious confusion about cause and effect going on there.

46

Saying "close your curtains" or "move your plants" isn't reasonable. She should have the right to have sunlight or put her plants where she pleases without having to accommodate the neighbors' assholery. But I would have given the letter more credence if she hadn't waited two years to complain about it. She also should have been direct with the neighbors about how it made her feel and demanded more respect right off the bat rather than laughing it off when it came up. One thinks she secretly gets off on it all. She's allowed the neighbors to think for these two years that it's not a problem for her. So it's harder for her to change their behaviors now.

47

@39 girliegams: I second it: @20 Josh_Josh for the WIN.
The LW has every right to call their Trump, which, very fittingly is defined in Webster's dictionary as a deceptive strategy of winning by cheating.

48

Won’t somebody please think of the plants!

49

Lava @43: That sounds like a heck of an experience! Sex workers and nuns on the same street, wow. Guess it was pretty easy to tell them apart.

Jodo @48: ROFL!

50

Duh. Venetian blinds. Adjust them to see the sky, sun comes in, whatever the hell is directly across the way does not.

51

You can also get inexpensive stick-on window frosting that lets in all the light. But with multiple easy solutions, and a two-year wait before complaining... I wonder if LW doesn't secretly enjoy the view, and was just writing for absolution.

52

@50 - best suggestion yet, I've got Venetian blinds in my bathroom window so the neighbors don't see in. The plants are fine with it, and there's plenty of light for me, too.

53

Get a Peregrine Falcon and train to attack at the sight of genitals. Then surreptiously open their screen & window. Film as the raptor “attacks the mouse” and send in to America’s Funniest Videos. Just be sure not to sunbathe nude on your own roof!

54

I was hoping Mr Savage would invoke the spirit of Ms Lederer, P and advise LW to move.

55

@53 DonnyKlicious: LOL I nominate you and Josh_Josh @20 as tied for the win for the America's Funniest Home Videos $10,000.00 prize. Aaaack-oop!

56

Instead of the stick on window frosting that lets in light, you can get stick on window film that basically turns it into a mirror in the outside and clear from the inside. So YOUR privacy is protected from them. While you're at it, buy some for them and say "hey, I know you're exhibitionists and all, but that's pretty far outside my comfort zone, and I've found that seeing all I see when I look out my window and see into your place, and knowing others can see into mine makes me extremely uncomfortable. I've been trying to find a solution that won't block either of our light sources from the windows or make it feel like we need to keep the windows covered. I found some easy to apply film that will keep the window completely clear from your side but mirrored from mine. I bought some for my window and ended up with more than I need. In the interest of being neighborly, could I ask you kindly to install this on that window? I'd really appreciate it."

That's be about the most neighborly approach you could take. Non confrontational, makes the request about your comfort level without making judgments on their activities, and doesn't restrict their light, the only thing it takes away (if they agree to do it) is their non consenting uncomfortable neighbor having to see them do allofthethings, which if they won't do, kind of makes them asshats.

57

I'm with @25. The Neighborcam would be a huge hit on the 1997 Internet. @45-the fact that they enjoy being watched absolutely alters the privacy issue. Peeping tom statutes are designed to protect people in places where they have "a reasonable expectation of privacy." These neighbors have explicitly told the LW that they don't exact privacy.

58

BDF @ 49 - "Guess it was pretty easy to tell them apart."

I'm sure some of the working girls dressed up as sexy nuns to attract the faithful...

59

I had a much more mild version of this! Lived in an apartment where the living room window looked into the living room window across an air shaft. The neighbors there were incredibly, unbelievably hostile to me. Eventually a fire forced them to move (everyone was fine), and once they were gone I was shocked to learn the reason they hated me so much -- it was because I never closed my living room blinds. They had it in their minds that we were supposed to be trading off, only one of us gets our blinds open per day, but by leaving my blinds open I selfishly decided to claim all the daylight for myself, thus condemning them to fester in darkness for years?

They couldn't have really been bothered by what they "had" to see, as the most scandalous thing would have been me waking by in just boxers on a few occasions. I never sat directly in front of the window. If they crushed their face up against the corner of their window and looked into my place from a severe angle, they probably would have been able to see me watching TV and sometimes smoking weed, so nothing like the theatrics the LW is witnessing.

My main issue with my neighbors is how fucking loud they were. Their blasting music, of course, was not something they considered to be at all intrusive of others. It was somewhat gratifying to learn that as oppressed as I felt by their music, they felt fully assaulted by my... window, through which they always had to see a blue wall, a corner of a chair, and nothing else.

I wish they'd have said something at the time, though. I would have happily put up black-out curtains and left them permanently closed, in exchange for them stopping all their damn noise.