Gettys stock photos are not as diverse as Congress.
Getty's stock photos are not as diverse as Congress. ericsphotography/Getty Images

One candidate who didn't get the SDOT director position got another gig: Retired Air Force Maj. Gen. Mike Worden didn't have what it takes to be the leader of the Seattle Department of Transportation. But, the blow of not getting that job, despite being in the top three—hey, be proud of that at least, Mike!—Worden will lead the city through the impending Seattle Squeeze. The newly created role is called "director of citywide mobility operations" and Worden will coordinate 29 city departments during the Period of Maximum Constraint. His salary will be $195,000 annually.

When I die just throw me in the trash compost me: Dying sucks. We know this—or, well, we can assume this. Our options in post-death existence are slim: get buried or burn, baby (basically). In Washington, there may soon be a third option. Human composting could be, as the kids say, A Thing, pretty soon. Washington state Sen. Jamie Pedersen is introducing a bill this year to make decomposting a viable and legal thing.

Durkan makes moves to remake the Seattle waterfront: The project will cost an estimated $720 million. To accomplish this, Durkan is moving forward with a $160 million local improvement district (LID). That means downtown property owners will be taxed to pay for the project. Originally, the plans called for a $260 million LID, but donations and money accrued from a commercial-parking tax will fill in that missing $40 million, according to the Seattle Times. The Seattle City Council still has to vote on the LID.

There are only two video stores left in Seattle: Bye, bye, Video Isle. The Fremont staple that withstood the pivot to streaming is going under. It closed its doors for good on Dec. 31. Starting tomorrow, Video Isle will be selling off its inventory. The sale goes through Jan. 13.

Uber's bike-share program excludes Seattle's most diverse spaces: If you're riding a garishly red JUMP bike anywhere in "central Seattle" it costs $1. If you wander outside of that arbitrary and unclear zoning, then you'll pay a little bit more: $25. The limited area that Uber serves leaves out some of the most diverse neighborhoods of the city.

Love 2 b moist: Okay, level with me folks, I have an intramural soccer game tonight at 8:30pm—is it worth it to be that cold and damp? (Pertinent: I am also leaking mucus because of a cold.) Logically, I know the answer, but I need you to tell me what to do.

Rents are dropping and apartments are sitting empty in Seattle: In Seattle, the average rent is $1,924. Rent has been steadily dropping quarter to quarter in Seattle. That's, in part, due to the building boom and surplus of apartment buildings. About 10.5 percent of apartment buildings are empty, Mike Rosenberg at the Seattle Times found. Landlords are scrambling to fill these units, offering perks like rent-free months and Amazon gift cards worth thousands of dollars.

Stop flushing wipes, Tacoma!: Residents keep flushing so-called flushable wipes in Tacoma. It's costing the city $100,000 a year to get that shit unclogged.

The swearing in of the most diverse class of Congress in history happened today: Look at this neat picture that illustrates how the times are a' changin'. One of those Qurans belonged to Thomas Jefferson.

Neil DeGrasse Tyson's show on hold amid sexual-misconduct investigation: DeGrasse Tyson, known for all that space shit, was accused by multiple women of sexual misconduct. These accusations surfaced back in November. National Geographic, which hosts DeGrasse Tyson's show Star Talk, has put the program on hold while the investigation into the allegations continues.

If this is the art the alt-right has to put up with then I get it: If all I had was an off-brand, accordion-less Weird Al panting Donald Trump raps at me on Breitbart Live, I'd be a hateful twat, too. The Stranger staff is not certain what the exact lyrics are, but we think "go up on me and your asshole get canceled" is one. Stranger music calendar editor Kim Selling says "I would hope someone would take my asshole away if I got anywhere near this kid." Her professional music reviewer opinion of the rap is, "No."

The device meant to clean-up the Great Pacific Garbage Patch is broken: The device was deployed in October and was meant to collect the plastic in the Great Pacific Garbage Patch (Kim Selling, from the previous blurb, calls this "Trash Island"). This break, the second of the contraption's short lifespan, occurred when a 60-foot section fell off and detached. The device has been taken back for repairs.

SPD released the video of the officer-involved shooting in North Seattle: Lester Black has a post on it here. SPD identified the officer that shot the man as Jared Keller and uploaded the bodycam footage of the New Year's Eve incident on YouTube. The officers can be seen struggling with the man before Keller opens fire.