An ice-capped Rainier might not be around much longer.
An ice-capped Rainier might not be around much longer. Timothy Kenney

Rate of glacial retreat is anything but glacial: These flowing rivers of ice in western North America lost 117 BILLION TONS of ice (or 117 gigatons if you love latin prefixes) over the last 18 years. According to the author of the study, David Shean, interviewed by the Seattle Times, that amount of water spread across the state of Washington would come up to our knees. I fucking hate retreating glaciers but I do love when scientists communicate scale in ways we can actually visualize! The worst part is that heavy precipitation over the last 18 years has been helping to replenish that glacial snowpack, but when the precipitation stops we’ll see ice losses on an even grander scale.

Transgender military ban goes into full effect: The Supreme Court allowed the Trump administration’s ban to go into effect while the lower courts decide whether or not it’s actually lawful. Trump announced this policy (via tweet of course) back in July of 2017, but it has been kicked around by federal courts ever since. This Supreme Court ruling will essentially bar anyone diagnosed with “gender dysphoria” from joining the military.

Rudy, Rudy, Rudy! TV lawyer Rudy Giuliani, who specializes in making bad situations worse, told CNN’s Jake Tapper that the Trump campaign’s negotiations with Russia over building a tower in Moscow may have gone through November of 2016 (ya know, when he was elected president). He was responding to a bombshell BuzzFeed News story that has still yet to be confirmed by other major news outlets, but BuzzFeed is resolute in sticking by their reporting. Giuliani is now walking those claims back, but how can he walk with his foot in his mouth?

It’s gonna get moist: That’s right I said it. Moist, moist, moist. Now you’re reading it and saying in your head. People seem to hate that word (moist) so it’s my responsibility to use it (moist) as much as possible.


Guess Fox News really wants RBG dead: A Fox News host apologized after they used a graphic eulogizing the Supreme Court justice when she is still very much alive. How many of these graphics do they have on hand ready to go for all their liberal foils?


Did you know Seattle has an IT Department? Well, we do and it’s about to get a new director. Mayor Jenny Durkan recently announced Saad Bashir as her nominee to lead the department, which has an annual budget of $277 million and supports projects like body cameras and cybersecurity.

Bezos shoots for the moon: Jeff Bezos’s company, Blue Origin, will be launching their New Shepard spaceship tomorrow as part of a unmanned test flight. This is now the second time they’ve rescheduled due to high winds at the Texas launch site, but it’s looking like tomorrow might be the day we see this massive, expensive, phallic ship pierce the sky.

TSA may be reaching a breaking point: About 10 percent of the workforce isn’t showing up for work compared to 3 percent at this same time last year. At some point we’re just going to start patting ourselves down and sniffing each other's hands for bomb dust. It’s not yet clear if Sea-Tac security lines are significantly longer, but this KING5 reporter was probably disappointed her on-air backdrop was a mostly empty line with people breezing through.

Bill to end shutdown will be dead on arrival: Mitch McConnell will introduce a bill today that trades $5.7 billion in wall funding for temporary protections for DACA recipients. Democrats said hell-to-the-fucking-no! They won’t vote for it, which means it definitely won’t pass the House, which means this may never end. I swear we’re living in a simulation and someone spilled Fanta on the computer.

Oscar nominations are in: Here’s a full list so you can pretend you’ve seen them at the next dinner party you go to. Black Panther is now the first superhero movie ever to be nominated for Best Picture, which I really hope doesn’t become a trend. Spike Lee also got his first Best Director nomination for BlacKkKlansman, which was a very good movie you should all see.

Bruh: If this isn’t a perfect representation of what I do every morning then I don’t know what is.


Tonight's best Seattle entertainment options include: Six Pack Series: Burn It Down, featuring The Stranger's own Chase Burns, a head-bobbable indie-pop show with Wild Child and Batty Jr., and an opening talk and reception for Danny Giles: The Practice and Science of Drawing a Sharp White Background.