There's nothing wrong with asking, and there's nothing wrong with saying no.

Dan, I live in a ski resort town and ski 50ish days a season myself, and most of those solo chair riders you see aren't necessarily demonstrating their gay panic (although they might in other settings). They're almost certainly just being anti-social assholes and not wanting to "chair chat" with anyone, and if it's two of them, they just don't want anyone sharing their own private "chair chat." There are plenty of such skiers/riders, and yeah they're usually men. I guess men are just more surly while having a day of fun than women are.

I'm a woman, and I strongly dislike being kissed after a guy has gone down on me. I don't particularly like the smell of female arousal to start with, not even my own, and add my very sensitive nose and it's a nope for me. I don't mind the smell of semen, though. One of the reasons I'm, gasp, straight and not a lesbian.

I'm not inclined to jump straight to fear as a motivator for LW's BF.

Personally my rule for anything regarding semen is that cops and robbers rules apply. Before the orgasms either party can spin out whatever scenario they want because everyone is horned up. But almost immediately after the orgasm those hormones are gone and what was a hot virile load is now a gross mess destined for a gym sock. So I don't ask my partner to swallow, or get facials or eat a cream-pie or whatever in any seriousness. It may be really hot to talk about before hand, it may be super hot of her to beg for it but the second the spurt happens, that deal is done. She can do whatever she want's because my junk has already moved on to pizza and video games.

Similar thing might be going in here, when aroused I am not thrilled with the idea of tasting my come, it does nothing for me sexually and would be a little gross, but after I have had an orgasm it would be REALLY gross. I know you are probably still turned on, you have not gotten off yet but try to understand that even boobs and pussy is probably not the hottest thing for him at that moment, let alone a snowball scenario. Try to find a way for him to satisfy the fantasy that arouses you here without requiring such a post-orgasm commitment and maybe you can both be happy.

Chlorinated oysters. No. Thank. You.

Tell her the truth: Just one drop of that sweet, hot, sticky load, and he’ll turn gay as a goose. You’re welcome.

@2: If you have a group of (your average) 4 women, there is NO WAY they are going ride the lift in any way other than 4 at a time. CAN YOU IMAGINE what those other two bitches could say about you over the duration of a whole lift ride if you're not there?

If you have 4 guys, opportunity to not feel like you're flying United Airlines trumps any worry that your bros are playing social status games one lift in front of you.

Now serious answer:

I would never expect a woman to want to swallow my load. Some people don't like some things in their mouth, whether that's broccoli or seamen. (Nothing against the Navy!) Hell, some women really don't want to perform oral sex at all.

So it's totally reasonable that someone is wired to be squeamish about a particular thing - including cum - being in their mouth.

LW can communicate with her boyfriend that she find the idea of making out with a full load in her mouth EXTREMELY HOT, but he just may not be that into it.

For most men, when we cum, we throw away the tissue or wash the sock or flush the toilet or whatever. Our feelings towards our results don't suddenly change just because there's a mouth involved.

Maybe Dan edited out the gender of the LW, but as written, there’s nothing to indicate the LW is a woman. Would the answer be different if the LW were a man?

This is a wonderfully rich post.

I have no argument with Dan, but IMO the guy should give it a go. It’s valuable to understand your partner’s experience.

I don't think she said how old she is or how old her boyfriend is. When I was a teenager, there was no way I was kissing a girl right after I came. I wasn't afraid the kiss would make me gay, I just thought the idea seemed gross. I also thought that licking a girl's ass would be gross. By the time I was in my very early 20s all of that changed as I developed a more expansive sexual curiosity. Now, even though I feel the same as other guys who posted so far about being a bit checked out after an orgasm, I have no problem kissing or snowballing because it's either hot or she wants that to happen and it's fine. All of this is to say two things: (1) Maybe the guy is just young and hasn't figured out what he's willing to try yet. (2) I agree with Blue Texas: she should push a little more and ask the BF to at least try it once (the ole' try everything once/don't knock it 'til you try it argument). Then if he tries and it doesn't dig it then she needs to either dump him for a snowballing fanatic or accept that he tried and it she can move onto something else like seeing if he will kiss her after she's rimmed him. haha.

It is really hot when a woman is willing to kiss someone who’s just gone down on her. It’s in the moment, it’s uninhibited. Versus a squeamish “ewww, go wash your face and brush your teeth.” By that token, he should be GGG and just go with it, if she thinks its hot to kiss him with his cum in her mouth. Don’t be a prude, dude. Your chick’s into it, be into it.

If the guy says no then no it is. And yes, as Dan pointed out, you can’t compare a mouthful of gooey thick stuff with a frosting of sweet juices on the lips.

Dan, you forgot to mention that cum just doesn't taste very nice. MK, this is a hard no for him. Respect his denial of consent on this as you would have him respect yours.

It's important to respect your partner's wishes. My wife doesn't like come in her mouth, she let me know this from the very start of our relationship, and it has never bothered me - and for us, her (excellent) blowjobs are very much part of our foreplay. And there's nothing sexier than kissing her after she's gone down on me - there's a special softness to her slightly swollen, moist, slightly salty lips...
LW could try helping BF to understand this gradually. Start with precome kisses. Maybe later try kisses after she's swallowed. Later on still, she could introduce him to snowballing.

Also, I find it surprising that LW's BF has never tasted his own come? Haven't all guys done this, at least once?

Dan, why do you refer to male semen as "come"? " Come" is a verb whereas "cum" is a noun and its use as a reference to ejaculated semen would be more appropriate and correct.

@16
Come: noun informal
1.
semen ejaculated at an orgasm.

'Which it can.' Hahhahaha

@16: "Come" is both a verb and a noun, and Dan's usage is correct. "Cum" is a preposition.

@7 Way to lean into those tired old gender stereotypes.

@13 That may be true for you but is not true for everyone. Why would Dan claim that semen tastes bad? Many men and women enjoy the various flavors of cum (like wine, it's not all the same).

@ECarpenter @21: My experience with wine, as well as come, is that no one thinks it tastes good objectively, at first. You learn to like it because you like the experiences and associations. Later, you may even love it and be able to distinguish different varieties. But that comes from effort and a will to do so. Many people get to that point; some never get past the original odd taste (or texture) and end up preferring to drink something else, or spit (to continue the analogy). But I suspect you'd be hard-pressed to find someone who thinks come tastes good as a pure taste removed from context.

Wow, biggie, I'm sure it's a joke, but the mean girls gossiping stereotype is real bullshit. It's been my experience- especially when doing outdoor sports with a group of women which I do a lot btw- that women put out an effort to include one another, especially since so many women are less familiar / less comfortable with outdoor sports. I don't ski or snowboard so I don't know if this applies to that- maybe the ratio of women : men enjoying these snow activities is roughly equal. But with paddling, climbing, surfing, backpacking - all things I do rather a lot- I've found that there are fewer women (though it's changing with this younger generation) and therefore whenever I am doing these things with a group of women, they are almost always careful to include one another.

I mean, I'm sure there are gossipy bitches out in the world who use any chance away from the group to drag the other girls, but it is my experience that when I'm in a group of women, they are actively trying to make sure everyone else stays included. And this is especially true in situations in which some women might be less naturally comfortable (such as outdoor sports as I said). When I'm out in a mixed group or with a group of guys, it's not that they are jerks (they aren't- they are usually friendly and social as well) but they are far more likely to want to be in their own space and just get to the experience, which is fine- I'm like that a lot myself, especially if I go out alone. But in a mixed group, I do fine that this means I'm usually the one who has to slow down for the people in the group who are slower / less experienced (and those are usually women) just because I'm also a woman. Even though I'm more experienced in some of it, the guys are likely to just take off, and when there are groups of straight people mixed gender out doing stuff together, it does tend to segregate by gender. So you get guys more likely to just go do their own thing and women hanging together. Again, without ever having done much snow sports, I'd say this accounts for the discrepancy more than homophobia and certainly more than the concern that bitches might drag you which is a bunch of harmful stereotypical bullshit.

As to the LW, yes of course no one should have to have cum in their mouths if they don't want it.

"He's not capable of another orgasm (not right away, anyway)—he's been knocked out of his groove. So even if the idea of snowballing appeals to a man as you're blowing him, it might not hold the same appeal the moment after he comes."

This is spot on for me. During oral sex, I am definitely curious about what I taste like...but after I cum, everything about sex becomes weird and gross during my refractory period. It usually only takes me a few minutes to get past that, but by then the moment has long passed.

@8, LW does refer to the boyfriend as "going down on LW", so that would typically be a woman.

Bottom line, you can’t force someone to do something that grosses them out if they aren’t willing to give it “the old college try”. In this case, it says something about your boyfriend, i.e. that he’s not the kind of person who is willing to stretch his boundaries even once for something that obviously turns you on. Write that on your mirror so you can look at it every day, “HE WON’T TRY IT EVEN ONCE”. Now the hard part. You have to decide what that means to you. It’s not like you’re asking him to drink a shit milkshake, but this is apparently a (fairly vanilla) line he can’t cross. Weigh your options, make your decision and live with it.

Oh, and this seems like a perfect time to trot out the old homily, “What,’s good for the goose is good for the gander.”

Asking someone to do something they are not comfortable with once and getting the answer "No" should be respected right away and be the end of the discussion. Too ask again and becomes annoying, it closes the door to it being a possibility (if that door was open at all) because the request has become a pestering, pushy request, asked over and over to the point of him now, possibly being defiant not because of the act but because the whole situation is now a competition you created that you want to win.
Be respectful so that getting him to kiss you with his load in your mouth is not now winning a battle your ego demands you win. He doesn't want to and even if there was a chance in the beginning you have probably now "blown" that chance by pestering him just for the sake of winning.
If he was pestering you to do something you were uncomfortable with how would that play out.

Normally I am 100% on board with the folks who have posted that she asked, he said no, and no means no. She shouldn't push. But to extend what I posted previously, I don't know if this is a situation that fits the normal pattern of accepting no as an answer in that it's not clear why he's saying no. If someone says they don't want to try a pizza place, I would ask if they like pizza. They say they don't then we move on to another type of food. But if they say, I haven't tried it but I don't think I will like it then I would say, give it a shot. I know the comparison is a bit banal and there is a slippery slope to no not meaning no, which is problematic.

In general, I think she should dump the guy and move onto someone who is equally as turned on as she is about kissing with fluids in one's mouth (her fluids and his fluids).

@15: Nope, never tasted mine, several decades in. (I mean, not directly, it's not like I wouldn't go down on someone when I'd already cum.)

@23: It's funny because it's (sometimes) true. There's whole TV shows devoted to this dynamic. I'm not saying anywhere near all women are petty, but petty women tend to stick together (because who wants to hang around a petty person?) which is why you don't see it in your personal experience.

surfrat @ 29
This can be a tricky question. Likely another stern “No!” yet can have a sexy, mischievous effect and lead to other stuff. The trick is how to navigate all this as it has already been brought up and rejected. Should LW offer something in return? Should she surprise him nevertheless?
Small steps can also be a strategy. “Just a little, for me… please… will you at least lick the tip of my tongue? Tomorrow morning we take a shower together and I blow you and promise to remain culinary demands-free afterwards.”

Speaking of, it is snowballing big time all over Savageville this afternoon. Be safe and happy.

Break up over it surfrat @29, that’s a radical suggestion. He could put some of his come on his fingertips to taste it. She wants him to kiss her while she has a mouthful of it, and he doesn’t want to.
As we know, most men can hardly move after an orgasm, so why dump the poor guy with this activity when he’s spent and he really doesn’t want to do it.

So once again another bit of OS dissent is Entirely the Fault of the Gays. I thank LW, BF and Mr Savage for providing me with more bricks for my Walls of Separation, both between G and S and also between G and B.

Lava- what’s wrong with a different approach to negotiation if it’s so important for her?

Venn- all and all the brick is in the eye of the beholder.
So yes, you may guess I’m a lawnmower by the way I walk, yet nowadays I spend my nights in white and pink satin by the roundabout,and always thick as a prick.

@22 Once again, you're making assumptions with no actual facts to back them up. I'm sure your stories are convincing to you - but they don't match a lot of other people's experience.

I only have anecdotal evidence from a number of cum eaters - I've never run a large statistical study about this - but a lot of the cum eaters I know (men and women) have said they always liked the taste of cum.

Its also not true that no one likes wine the first time they taste it. There's more searchable evidence about that than about the people who like the taste of cum the first time they taste it, but they're similar in that you're making up "facts" to suit your personal conclusions.

What makes you so sure that your gustatory experience is universal? Do you also think your taste in other edibles is universal? How do you explain whole cultures who enjoy foods you think are icky, then?

@30 I guess I'm just more curious about this sort of thing. I have to say though, having tasted my own come (long long ago), I wouldn't describe it as revolting, but it's not exactly delicious. I can fully understand why anyone, male or female, wouldn't like it. Although I can also understand why a lot of people do like the taste (I've not personally met a woman who loves the taste of my come). And I'm sure there's more than taste involved in this - there's texture and consistency as well.
More importantly, Dan's right: before I come, pretty much everything goes, I'll try and do anything sexual, doesn't matter what it is, I'm game. But all that disappears immediately after I've come. Completely and utterly disappears. I've always kind of hated that part, but it's hard to fight biology.

I like sucking dick, but cum is basically dick snot - not appetizing. There's nothing wrong with not wanting it in your mouth.

ECarpenter @35: "once again" I'm making up facts? Did I make up some other facts in this thread?

And, um, I think when I start off a post with "in my experience," it's pretty clear that I'm making statements based on, ya know, my experience. The things I said apply to me and the people I've spoken with on the subject--same as your anecdotal evidence. You're free to disagree.

I'm aware other cultures eat and enjoy distinctly different foods. Perhaps there are places where the standard fare more matches the taste and texture of come, and it's therefore easy to enjoy it right off, even independent of context. Again, in my experience, that's not true of most European and American culture. If you asked me, I would also say I enjoyed come right off, but that's because I made an effort to, and for me, the enjoyable context overrode the initial surprise at taste and texture. I merely understand that some people many not manage that.

MA@37, I’ve heard it’s a good moisturiser, all that sperm must be full of goodies. It helps make babies and snot can’t do that.

I mean, semen smells like a cross between amonia and melted plastic (though it doesn't really TASTE like much) - I'm not sure why anyone of any gender not wanting to taste it would be a mystery. Vaginal secretions smell like sweat, skin bacteria, and arousal phermones (which is exactly what they are) and mostly just have a sharp metalic taste characteristic of acids, so I'm not surprised by people not wanting to taste them either.

We (may - not everyone does) find our various secretions sexy due to context and framing. This is the case for most of sex. Consider: respiratory mucus is constantly running down your throat from your sinuses as well as coating your bronchi, in order to lubricate and protect your respiratory tract, and some will wind up in your mouth where you taste it, especially if you cough - this is normal and unremarkable; we taste some of a partner's mucus when we open-mouth kiss, which lots of people find actively sexy (not necrssarily the mucus taste, but the kissing); however, if someone removes the mucus first, even momentarily, and THEN ingests it, whether zir own or someone else's, LOTS of people are completely squicked out. Same substance, with a visceral reaction determined entirely by context of ingestion.

@41~ “...Vaginal secretions...have a sharp metalic taste characteristic of acids...”
I think you’ve been eating too much robot pussy, John...

I LOL'd at "Which it can."

WOW--yet another eye-opening Savage Love Slog discussion.
Okay...Griz is going out on a limb here by admitting she has actually out of curiosity, tasted her own pussy juice. It's sweet and slightly tangy--I'm assuming that's a good, healthy sign. Red wine is my only alcohol source and I have given up fast food for gluten-free, low sugar organic foods.
@41 John Horstman & @42 DonnyKlicious: I must be on the right diet then....

Dan the Man--hasn't that been a hot subject for SL discussion before? Class--what do your BF / GF's juices taste like?

If mixed with maple syrup Grizelda, come is fine on toast. I’m not wasting all that good protein.
Just kidding.

It’s a ten year old letter Grizelda. Dan slips one in a week now, slowing down I guess.
Or he’s busy writing for the NYT, encouraging that poor idiot Amazon Boss guy, the one who has destroyed others’ livelihoods with such abandon, shamed his soon to be ex wife and children and got on with an ex fox worker, who may be a clue to how their texts were stolen;
to show his dick pics.
Well, the challenge is up in the comments of the NYT for Dan to show his first.

@46 To be fair, all Amazon did was to offer a service. We destroyed others' livelihoods by using it. And Wal-mart got there first. Wal-mart most definitely paved the way (especially in the shitty jobs department)
But if you're going to place blame, you'll have to add the people who designed and built the robots (and, going further, the people who invented the electronics and computer technologies to run them, and of course, the networking systems they depend on, which also includes the internet). Not to people who invented container shipping, and the shipping companies that built bigger and bigger ships to accommodate them, which made it possible to flood the world with cheap imported goods, etc. etc.
But the real people to blame are our politicians (and therefore us, the voters) who refuse to come up with financial policies that insist on corporations paying their fair share, providing decent jobs and a decent living etc. etc. etc. etc.

So Nobody is responsible for anything, Marty @47? I don’t use Amazon, he gets not a cent from me. What good has it done him..he’s a tosser of a man, doesn’t matter how much money he has. Let’s see if this wakes him up to himself.
He’s sabotaged his family, and it looks like the whole affair with Ms Ex Fox Lady, may have been a set up, to get something on him.
Great he’s stood up to them, give him that.

@27
I've always heard it as "sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander", which is even more apropos, i think...

@47 MartyVega
"all Amazon did was to offer a service. We destroyed others' livelihoods by using it."

That's an overly simplistic understanding. We destroyed others' lives by not making it illegal for Amazon's practices to destroy others lives.

Businesses are profit-seeking machines; an imperative required by their fiduciary responsibility to their shareholders to do anything allowed by the legal playing field. But the people are (uh, theoretically) free to elect representatives who will change the rules of that playing field (and the composition of SCOTUS, for example Santa Clara County v. Southern Pacific Railroad Company [1886]) to /force/ the effect of corporate behavior to be in the interests of people.

However noble, individual consumers unilaterally refraining from being part of the problem (for another example, purchasing only domestic products) changes little. Legislation is required, and boycotting might even make that legislation less likely.

Griz@44 ~ "...what do your BF / GF's juices taste like?..."
Trying to "come" up with an answer...which is...not much like anything, just warm and wet. Kind o the same as kissing her mouth, there's not really a taste there...not sweet, not sour...sometimes a little salty I guess. I'll have to pay more attention next time.

Since the LW is talking about actually sharing the cum in her mouth between herself and the boyfriend that means she's holding that gob of goo in her mouth, tossing it about, leaning forward to the boyfriend with it still on her tongue, saying kiss me and taste yourself.

Alright whatever, that's a pretty specific act/pleasure. Again I'd guess copying porn here? In real life, when I've had cum in my mouth (which isn't most blow jobs btw) it goes down the hatch pretty qucikly- like taking a shot- and therefore doesn't taste like much of anything. I've tasted remnants of myself on lips cocks and fingers etc and it tasted sort of sweet? Honestly we've been using the same lubricants for so many years that now I'm not sure I could distinguish the taste/smell of the lube from that of our various fluids- it all just gets mixed up in the senses. When I think of what any of this smells/tastes like, my answer is coconut. lol

I didn't read Dan's article just saw the headline and have no idea what point he was trying to make.

I could say a lot about Bezos and how we subsidize the profits of billionaires in general. But briefly now and specific to the point, Amazon is currently working on surveillance tech for ICE, FBI, and the police. And they also have a contract to build and run cloud services for the CIA and other govt spy agencies- the FBI has been using them for years. I get there's a difference between personal violations of privacy and state spy/surveillance, but it appears mostly to be a matter of perspective. So sure, it's not surprising that the richest man in the wold is happy to use taxpayer funded tech and take taxpayer funded contracts to contribute to a state surveillance system, but then he's concerned about his own personal privacy. Seems sort of obvious.

What I don't get is average folks on the internet who hear about the richest man in the world getting thrown a bit of shade and they think to themselves, I Must Defend Him. It's Actually Our Fault For Living Now. But this is a kink-friendly sex advice forum so if bootlicking gets you off, I'm sure you'll find plenty to indulge you.

@48 amazon is amazing. No one remembers how hard getting stuff was back in the day that wasn't sold at your local Bartell's. Before Amazon came along, eCommerce wasn't a sure deal - remember when "Identity Theft" was a thing? Today, online credit card transactions are safe.

In any case, they deliver lower prices to consumers. That money stays in their pocket.

@48 I've got news for you -- you do use Amazon. You're probably using Amazon right this very minute. Amazon is much much more than an online store.
I'm just saying that rather than focusing all your ire on Amazon, the true culprit is our corrupt, plutocratic political system that allows the existence of behemoths like Amazon, and the existence of billionaires, etc.

Good grief, some people are way too quick to assume gay panic. I didn't expect to include Dan in that category!

While riding a chairlift, snowboards hang awkwardly to the right side (for regular) and left (for "goofy" riders). In addition, when disembarking, snowboarders have only one boot connected, making the exit a bit unstable. Put all that together and it's not too surprising that riders, especially inexperienced ones, would try to ride more sparsely.

Personally, I'm a skier and raised all my kids on two sticks. But I have some sympathy for the snowboarders on lifts. And envy on the jumps.

Marty @ 55, us small folk have to start somewhere. I boycott Amazon.

@45 & 46 LavaGirl: O---kay. I didn't realize this was a ten year old letter. I guess I wasn't paying attention.
@51 DonnyKlicious: I reached about the same conclusion. Not much of a textural difference, fluid-wise, between orgasmic juices and saliva.
@57 LavaGirl: Atta girl! I second it, and am adding Starbucks as well to my boycott list.
May the greedy billionaires out to protect the billionaires rot in bankruptcy hell.

EmmaLiz@52~ Cocoanut flavored cum would save you some money when making Pina Coladas.

@52 EmmaLiz: Coconut flavored cum? Lucky you!

I wonder who the very fittingly Lucky @69 winner of this thread will be.
Tick...tick...tick...

@61: No takers? Really? Okay, I know I'll get booed for this a week later but I couldn't resist the intentional pun: Anyone hitting the Lucky @69 Award for this thread would indeed get a Mouthful.