Comments

1

Wotta fk'n knob.

2

Not typical? I heard he rubs poop on the walls,
so this, to me, is a pretty big Improvement.

3

I bet you had fun writing this up, Rich. Good job.

4

"It should go without saying, but Eyman is coasting
on a tremendous amount of privilege with all of this.

If a black guy tried to 'save' an office chair in his truck
before paying for it, he'd be arrested and thrown in jail.

He'd have to pay all kinds of fines, court fees, and attorney's fees,

and all of that assumes he'd survive the encounter with the cops."

Whoa. Way to frame it! Gotta wonder if Tim, too, sees the Beauty of that statement...

@3 Yes.

5

I also wonder if some of our resident Trolls do, as well.

6

For far too many years, we have de facto discriminated against Republicans by way of the soft bigotry of low expectations. The armies of compassion have let them off easy, because they typically come from families of multi-generational entitlement. They don't know any better.

But no more! Today, we start holding the Eyman's of the world to the standards of a meritocracy! Sure, it may hurt him in the short term, but think of the life lesson! The satisfaction he will get by pulling himself up by his bootstraps!

No more soft on crime! Three strikes, and you're out, Tim! You'll thank us for it one day, and think of the example you will set for your fellow conservatives.

It's morning in America!!!!

7

Next initiative, $30 maximum fine for shoplifting.

8

Bless you, Catalina Vel-DuRay.

When are we going to talk about what the chair was wearing? What was she doing out there like that anyway? What did she expect was going to happen? Only asking questions here.

9

slimy mucus plug

10

@10 Lock him up in a nice padded cell with Trumpty Dempty, Dencey Pencey, Brett Babyface Kavanaugh, and Thug Ericksen.

11

Caning should really be a legal form of punishment.

12

If only The Stranger had given this much enthusiastic ink to the story last year of the multiple accusations of rape/sexual assault by Dan Savage's friend Dave Meinert.

13

@2
Totally.
And before that he was licking door knobs and toilet seats trying to spread HPV and flu.
Shoplifting is a big step up.

14

this is the best news story ever

16

@12:

So, you're saying you want to see even MORE articles about Eyman stealing office chairs? Maybe you were too busy trying to think up new names to comment as to notice, but I seem to recall there were a number of pieces published by The Stranger last summer covering the accusations against Meinert.

17

"not how he typically acts as a customer." Well, I think that the actual question is whether this is how he typically acts as a shoplifter.

18

I find it all very depressing.

19

Most embezzlement perps claim they will put pack what they are taking, when they are caught. Same is true for typical low level thieves. Eyman clearly fits the profile.

20

Having light fingers may seem like a skill
but its a trap

21

All Eyman needs to slam-dunk his case is:

CCTV footage of him:

Talking to a store employee and gesturing to the chair;
Either he or a store employee then moving said chair to the vestibule;
Eyman then getting into a check-out line;
Eyman talking on his cellphone while in the check-out line, and;
Eyman pointing out the chair in the vestibule to the checker before he completes his transaction

I mean, that should be a piece of cake, right? All he has to do is ask for the footage from the store, which they most certainly would have...

22

Petty thieves always fall back on these types of excuses but, you know, UPC codes... They can't ring something up at Office Depot without scanning. The same as every other chain store.

I'd wager this isn't the first petty theft. Shoplifting is pretty easy. That's why they installed all those security cameras all over the place.

23

Eyman has pro bono legal representation from a fratbro? You get what you pay for ...

24

Oy, the privilege angle. Strange journalism.

25

Puh-leaze -- no such Thing as White privilege.
It's a Left-Wing myth.*

All good White folk know that.

*as heard on Sinclair stations, nationwide!
every. single. one.

26

Lol. Funny how quick The Stranger would rather forget Jussie Smollett and not even talk about his indictment or a day in court. But the $30 chair "theft" (not even sure if it was an actual theft yet)! Stop the presses! Lol.


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