It was found like this, except super dead and deep in the jungles undergrowth
It was found like this, except super dead and deep in the jungle's undergrowth. Mark Wong/Getty Images

Software fuck up is messing with Washington prisons: Your yikes meters should be spiking! There are around 3,500 cases currently under review because this problem has resulted in at least a dozen inmates being released too early. Others have been held too long. Their sentences were miscalculated. According to the Seattle Times something similar happened in 2015 and people resigned over it.

We're suing Trump again: Attorney General Bob Ferguson is rolling up his sleeves and firing up the ol' sue Trump machine and suing the president over new abortion regulations. The suit is an attempt to block a rule that would prevent organizations that receive Title X money from referring patients to abortion providers. The rule will make getting abortions that much harder for women, especially low-income women. The suit hasn't been finalized yet, but Ferguson says he's going to. I trust him. We have a list of all his past Trump suits. It hasn't been updated with this new one since, you know, it doesn't quite exist yet. Honestly—because I know you will anyway (we should really start paying you guys as copy editors)—let me know if we're missing any other suits.

RIP to Seattle Weekly: The print publication and longtime Seattle staple will publish its last paper on Wednesday. This death rattle has been dragging out for a while now, ever since the Weekly reorganized and gutted its staff in the latter part of 2017. I interned there that summer and had a great time. Thanks to the Weekly for being what it was and to Daniel Person, my news editor that summer, for teaching me a whole lot. Guess there's only one alternative paper in town now for you guys to pick up. You're stuck with us.

It's Pisces season, Seattle! March, the best month of the year depending on if you were born in it or not, is just around the corner. It's supposed to be cold.


Cold? Does that mean colder?


Seattle mulls over new band-aid solution for homelessness: Safe lots! For people living out of their cars—no, not RVs—to be safe at night. The Department of Neighborhoods is reportedly looking for public parking lots to turn into safe lots for car-living folks to stay in for the night. There are 2,279 vehicular residents in Seattle. The city is being secretive about which lots they're looking at, KOMO reports.

Shit, oh god, oh no: The snow. It's coming. The clouds are encroaching on the blue sky out our office window right now. Reports of snow are coming south of Seattle. Is it coming here?


Jim Zorn is helming the inevitable-sinking-ship that is the Seattle XFL team: More football news. From me. I will never forget when one of you, dear readers, told me to never write about sports.

The internet really wants to know how to catch Smeargle: This is about Pokemon Go. If you don't Pokemon, tune OUT. If you do Pokemon—Forbes says this: "you need to coax Smeargle out by entering photo mode and taking a picture of another Pokémon. Occasionally, Smeargle will show up to photobomb, and that will allow you to catch it."

Climate change is killing clouds: As the earth warms, clouds disappear. That's what made extreme ancient warming episodes in Earth's history extreme. Currently, two-thirds of the planet is covered by clouds. Stratocumulus clouds, the ones that a long and "blankety," as this author brilliantly describes, have the biggest cooling effect on the planet. They're also the clouds most susceptible to extinction if we continue on the path we're on now. They could disappear in as little as a century.

R. Kelly is out of jail: For now. A friend of his posted his $100,000 bail after Kelly spent the weekend in jail. He has pleaded not guilty to the 10 charges of criminal sexual abuse against him. His next hearing will be on March 22.

The mystery of the dead humpback whale in the Amazon rainforest: The carcass of a 10-ton humpback whale was found deep in the undergrowth of the Amazon in Brazil. How the fuck did it get there? And, what was it doing near Brazil when, at this time of year, it should have long-ago migrated south to Antarctica? Marine biologists are baffled. They assume the whale, which was not yet fully grown, died in the ocean after getting separated from its mother and its carcass was swept into the mangroves by the tide. Still, there are more questions than answers.


Trump basically says the Chinese government was typecast: Trump was referring to Chinese President Xi Jinping and his aids and said that they were "straight from central casting." He then put his fingers around his eyes like glasses, a racist gesture about the President's eyes. Central casting refers to stereotypically cast roles.

A long read for your Monday: Facebook moderators reportedly have PTSD and are believing the conspiracy theories they were hired to weed out. I haven't read this yet, but I intend to! The internet says it's good so I've gotta believe it is, right?