Desperate times for Stormy The Cat
Desperate times for Stormy The Cat NIKOLABARBUTOV / GETTY IMAGES

Noose found at Boeing's South Carolina plant: It was a foot-noose made out of nylon rope and it was found dangling in Boeing's Charleston plant. Boeing confirmed that a "racially-charged symbol" was found, but didn't say much else.

Everett teenager gets 22 years in prison for plotting a school shooting: His grandma foiled his plans and reported them to the police last February. The teenager had written records of his plans including how his "aim [had] gotten much more accurate" and a semi-automatic rifle stored in a guitar case. The judge who charged the teenager lauded his grandmother as a hero "but declined her request to show mercy to her grandson," according to KOMO.

Amazon is going to kill your local Safeway: Or QFC, or Albertsons, or Vons, or whatever. The local bookseller is looking to open up its own grocery stores. The earliest one could open in Los Angeles by the end of 2019. These stores would be independent of Amazon's Whole Foods acquisition. There isn't a whole lot of information available, the Wall Street Journal released the original report featuring unnamed sources. My conspiracy theory (shared by many) is that this is Amazon making moves to take over the whole grocery industry and make it cashier-less like its Amazon Go stores.

Longtime resident evicted from Alaska general store: Stormy, the slightly-overweight black cat, has lived in Fritz Creek General Store for six years. Stormy is being evicted after officials said she was "unsanitary" and "violates food safety hazards." Tell that to the bodega cats in New York! Poor Stormy. She'll be okay, though, don't worry. She's going to live with the general store's owner's sister. This gives me a golden opportunity to share with you one of my favorite videos (disclaimer: you have to listen with sound):

The centerpiece of the 100 percent clean bill passed the Washington State Senate today: The vote on Gov. Inslee's carbon legislation that seeks to get Washington off of coal and natural gas by 2045 timed nicely with Inslee's announcement that he's running for president. The part of the bill that passed requires utilities to get off of coal by 2025 and then get to entirely carbon-free electricity by 2045. The bill now heads to the House.

Goodbye, viaduct: The concrete monstrosity is being chipped away slowly but surely.

Speaking of Inslee: He announced his candidacy in the warehouse of A & R Solar. There were a lot of Washington heavy-hitters there like King County Executive Dow Constantine and Attorney General Bob Ferguson, both of whom I think would happily take Inslee's governor role. Tim Eyman was there! Rich Smith reports that "he was denied entry early on, though. I think it had something to do with the fact that he was rolling in with a guy who was wearing a chicken suit."

Women in ICE detention are having more miscarriages in the two years since Trump has been president: The number of immigrant women who have had miscarriages in federal detention has nearly doubled in the last two years. Congress has announced an investigation into Immigration and Custom Enforcement and their detainment of expectant mothers. The increase in miscarriages has only been monitored in ICE, not women detained by Border Patrol.

Russia releases prison of nearly 100 whales: The beluga and orca whales have been held in cruel conditions in Russia since summer 2018. They were reportedly going to be sold to Chinese aquariums. However, mass outrage triggered their release Friday. It was allegedly the "largest number of sea creatures to ever be held in small temporary enclosures."

Gizmodo unearthed the latest scammer: It's this sex expert doctor guy (technical title) named Dr. Damian Jacob Markiewicz Sendler who is cited by a variety of publications and media outlets, including—(gulp)—Dan Savage's "Savage Lovecast." Sendler is a phony who claims to have published academic articles on sex and kinks like “Similar mechanisms of traumatic rectal injuries in patients who had anal sex with animals to those who were butt-fisted by human sexual partners.” No one suspected that wasn't a real title until this Gizmodo writer. It's fascinating to read this writer go through every inconsistency, present them to Sendler in an in-person interview, and dismantle the lies. The writer interviews Dan who "gets introspective" and said, "Letting down sex researchers is going to mean I have to get super [humble] tonight and lie on the floor and stare at the ceiling for a couple hours.” I doubt Dan meant 'humble.'

Tragedy strikes the bridge community: Not the infrastructure, the card game, you idiots. The number one bridge player in the world, Norway’s Geir Helgemo, tested positive on a drug test. Helgemo has been suspended and stripped of all titles from the 2018 World Bridge Series. This is truly a tragedy of epic proportions.

A happy ending: And a classic mistake!