You can just smell the baseball, cant you?
You can just smell the baseball, can't you? fstop123/Getty Images

Slog PM tonight is brought to you by mom easing into the modern contemporary era: My mom is going on a solo trip soon. She's never used rideshare before. She's testing it out. Baby steps, mom!

She described the Uber ride as short. A glowing review.
She described the Uber ride as "short." A glowing review.

Hey, want to know a secret about Shen Yun? Yes, I'm talking about the dance group behind those flyers you've been seeing everywhere. Here's only a piece of the juicy Shen Yun pie: "The show is also the product of the Falun Gong movement, a religious group led by a man, Li Hongzhi, who believes that aliens came to Earth at the beginning of the 20th century in order to eradicate humans through cloning. When a reporter asked if Li was from Earth, he said, 'I don't wish to talk about myself at a higher level. People wouldn't understand it.'"

Baseball is coming: Prepare yourselves. Dust off your Mariners hats and t-shirts (even the one you keep in your drawer for your yearly one-game-at-most quota that commenters will yell at you for owning because you 'are very vocal about how you don't like baseball you fucking hypocrite'), baseball season is nearly here!! Ichiro Suzuki has arrived in Tokyo, Japan for the season opener with the Mariners. It's projected to be Ichiro's last two games. Or, at least that's what my friends at Lookout Landing tell me.

Check out how the youth showed up in Seattle for the climate:

After the New Zealand attack mosques in Seattle boost security: The Washington state chapter of the Council on American-Islamic Relations (CAIR) advised anyone visiting a mosque today to take extra precautions and recommended mosques increase security. The attack in New Zealand targeted two mosques. Dozens of people were killed in the attack that was live-streamed by the shooter.

A smoking jackscrew: It's like a smoking gun except a jackscrew, something you've probably never heard of before. The jackscrew, as Timothy brought up this morning, moves the tail and controls how the plane ascends and climbs. A malfunction of that part brought down an Alaska Airlines part in 2000. There's no clear indication that the jackscrew was, uh, screwy (I'm leaving that joke, hush) in the Ethiopian Airlines crash last weekend other than how it was found in the crash. Its position, according to the Seattle Times, indicated that something was up with the stabilizer. Okay, I know this is reality and I'm about to reference a science fiction novel, but has anyone read Michael Crichton's Airframe. This issue with Boeing 737 MAX 8's seems eerily similar to the plot of that novel.

Huge news for the Nordic Museum: The local Ballard museum is now officially the National Nordic Museum thanks to a bill that passed in Congress. It was also signed by the president (that's Donald Trump in case you, like me, try to forget every day).

A man robbed Puyallup and Tacoma sex shops wearing a pumpkin mask: That wasn't a smooth robbery move, it turns out. This is like one of those things recently where everyone allegedly getting in trouble—the college schemers, faking hate crimes, paying women for silence—used personal checks to do their dirty deeds. This robber wore a metallic pumpkin mask. He got caught because someone recognized the mask from a Halloween party. Turns out he was using his Halloween costume for crimes.

The UW basketball team is doing well at the Pac-12 tournament: Listen. I won't bore you with the details, but the Huskies (Go Dawgs, always) are in the semi-finals of the PAC-12 basketball tournament against the Colorado University Buffs. It's supposed to be a good game, I presume. One of my brothers went to CU, the other went to the University of Oregon (I have more brothers, they just didn't go to any relevant colleges and one of them is 14, so I won't bore you further with those details). Anyway, it's very heated in our family's group text right now and I do not follow most (read: any) sports so please post all of the (pro-UW) trash talk I should text my brothers in the comments below. In the meantime, here's a video from eight years ago:

My dad is actually at the Pac-12 tournament: You really don't need to know this, but fuck it. My mom is figuring out how to Uber and my dad is drunk in a Vegas bar (they are very divorced—another thing you don't need to know) raving about a pianist.


Oh dear: A Missouri bill, if passed, would mandate that every citizen ages 18-34 will have to own "at least one" AR-15. It's only been read on the Missouri House floor.

New Zealand's prime minister condemns the attackers of Friday's massacre:

The Atlanta police department is making some changes: They're no longer going to ask job applicants about whether they've smoked any of the good stuff (marijuana, for the uninitiated) in the last two years. They allegedly lost too many attractive candidates because of the response to that question. You're still not allowed to blaze up as a member of the police department, but they're going to turn a blind eye in the time before you're selected for the gig.

Food and Drug Administration Chief is leaving: This is a prime opportunity for pro-vape and pro-cig lobbyists to make their interests known in the wake of his tenure. The soon-to-be former FDA chief made it his mission to crack down on smoking, so he emphasized vaping and e-cigs. Unbeknownst to him, the teens would take to vaping and e-cigs like bees to honey. That wasn't a good look for him. He was planning on cracking down on the stuff he used to promote, but, in the middle of that, he abruptly announced that he would be exiting the role. So, cue the lobbyists.