Its spring, motherfuckers
It's spring, motherfuckers POJCHEEWIN YAPRASERT PHOTOGRAPHY/Getty
Once, a friend told me: "Jasmyne, there are two types of people in this world: ones that think the first day of spring is on the 20th of March, and those that think it is on the 21st." As if it really mattered. But, of course, today is the first day of spring. The 20th day in March. The season that does with cherry trees what Chilean poet Pablo Neruda wants to do with me: fuck me. Just kidding—though if you're looking for the season to really get down and dirty with you, might I suggest you hang out in the quad over at UW? I'm standing by this Neruda joke.


Anyway, spring has sprung. Spring has got me sprung. Today is the vernal equinox meaning that day and night are equal in length. Or something. Tonight when you look up into the sky, the Super Worm Moon, meaning the last full moon in March that appears to be 14% bigger and 30% brighter, will be gazing back at you. Maybe you should check your horoscope. We are approaching Aries season after all.

Or maybe you should lay out at the nearest park during your lunch break, with your eyes closed, thinking about how all of life depends on this faraway giant burning star that's absolutely indifferent to your slowly dying planet and its inhabitants—your existence a total accidental byproduct of carbon, oxygen, and your parents meeting in a mess hall at an Army Base. But perhaps you're charmed by humans' innate throb to lie back and do absolutely nothing in the grass. Feel free to glare at the shirtless dude practicing lacrosse at 2 pm on a weekday. Head home and make some pasta primavera while swilling white wine and listening to that new Solange album. Go fucking crazy.

Or, a suggestion: As your Local Lizzo Reporter, I'm obliged to tell you that the rapper/singer/songwriter released a new single "Tempo" from her upcoming album and it fucking slaps. Not only does it feature the ONE-AND-ONLY Missy Elliott but Lizzo also put her flute skills on display in the last 30 seconds of the track. It clocks in under three minutes but it makes the most of the time constraints, with Lizzo spitting lines like "Get on this ride, baby, you gon' have to buckle up/Thick thighs save lives, call me little buttercup." It had me bouncing on my way to get coffee this morning. Happy spring, everyone.