Except This Guy. Although This Guy smokes weed, just... no. Look, I'm generally a man of peace, but This Guy may as well have sent out Eventbrite invites to cut off his terrible ponytail with rusty hedge clippers. Maybe that makes me a horrible person. Fine. But that doesn't mean I'm wrong.
"This Guy" is Malcolm Abbott, and this week his parents were implicated in the college cheating scandal, wherein rich white people bribed and cheated to get their subpar-to-middlin' children into elite colleges. Abbott's sister was one of the recipients of this shockingly widespread fuckery. His father founded a company called International Dispensing Corp.
In an interview with the New York Post, Abbott addressed the matter outside his family's Fifth Avenue home while smoking a blunt that—as The Root properly noted—"appeared to have been rolled on a rollercoaster" to, god help us all, plug his mixtape, Cheese and Crackers. No word yet if authorities, in addition to charging his parents for bribery, will be filing charges for Malcolm's assault on ears as well.
When you are the living embodiment of a Poster Child for overly entitled, culture-appropriating douchebaggery, smoking a blunt isn't helping your cause. Rather, it should serve as a cautionary tale that just because you partake doesn't mean you are down.
Malcolm Abbott, it should be added, told the Post: "I didn't go to college."