Do not take him from his beachy paradise!
Do not take him from his beachy paradise! guenterguni/Getty Images

Russell Wilson is ready for a new contract: First thing's first, Wilson isn't going anywhere. Probably. He's got another year left on a four-year $87.6 million contract with the Seahawks. But, he wants a new contract negotiated by April 15. This is reportedly so Wilson doesn't have to deal with questions about his future with the team during the football season.

Amazon invests in the kids: But only computer engineering kids. The neighborhood bookseller is providing $4 million in scholarships for 100 high school students. It's all a part of Amazon's Future Engineer program that launched last fall. The scholarships were awarded to students from 32 states and give them $10,000 a year for 4 years. Half of them, according to Amazon, are from groups that aren't represented strongly in computer science.

Patients and students potentially exposed to viruses: Neighborhood Health, which hosts low-income dental clinics, improperly sterilized some of the dental tools at recent clinics that were held in Seattle and Vashon Island schools. Some 1,250 people may have been exposed to hepatitis B, C, and HIV.

Can these fucking sheriffs just follow the law? Benton County is uniting against the new gun safety laws passed last November. Commissioners from the county unanimously passed a resolution Tuesday to stand against the laws. It's all about the Second Amendment, as per usual. Other counties across the state, as well as a coalition of 12 sheriffs, are standing in opposition to I-1639's new gun laws (a refresher: raising the purchasing age of semiautomatic weapons, expanded background checks, and gun storage requirements).

Some rain, maybe? I'm crossing my fingers. It's looking miiiiighty cloudy right now. Well, in comparison to how it was looking yesterday, and the day before, and the day before, and—

Trumpeter swans are dying! There have been a heckuva lot of swans dying south of Monroe and into north King County. In a normal year, 10 swans deaths is pretty normal. Since March 17, there have been OVER 50 SWAN DEATHS. The cause of their deaths is still a big fat mystery.

Lime fills up a scrapyard with bikes after rejection: Reno didn't renew its contract with Lime for bikeshare. So, Lime scrapped the plans—literally.

There's a world championship competition for coffee: And Samantha Spillman from Seattle just won the title of Best Barista in the country. She's headed to Boston to compete in the world championship competition. The challenge there is to make and serve 12 different drinks in 15 minutes. I hope it's televised so I can tune in. Give you guys a play-by-play, you know? For the fans.

The future of the Key Arena is on Instagram: No, literally, look—there's a picture of it right here, on Instagram:

Suspect arrested in Nipsey Hussle murder: Eric Holder, the primary suspect in the Los Angeles rapper's murder, was arrested Tuesday. Holder was spotted on security footage of the shooting in front of Hussle's clothing store. He fled the scene in a waiting car.

India shot down one of its satellites with a rocket: Annnnnd the debris could threaten the International Space Station. Where there are six people currently on board. NASA's really mad about the whole thing. It wasn't supposed to cause debris, but, NASA said they identified 400 pieces. Even though the debris will (at some point) dissipate, it takes awhile. There's still debris in orbit from a 2007 Chinese anti-satellite test.

An argument during a hearing on the Equality Act today: The House Judiciary Committee heard arguments on the Equality Act today, legislation that would add LGBTQ people to federal nondiscrimination laws. Rep. Pramila Jayapal shared a story about how her child recently came out as non binary. And the Republican arguments were a lot like this:

Komodo Island is closing: Why? Because people keep stealing the goddamn lizards! Komodo Island, as everyone is aware, is home to the Komodo Dragon. But maybe it won't be for long because no one can keep their fucking hands to themselves and not commit lizard theft. The decision to close Komodo Island to tourists (not permanently! Just until 2020!) came after cops busted lizard smugglers who were trying to nab 41 lizards.

Could this be the headline of the week??? Border Patrol agent who was actually undocumented immigrant is sentenced to probation