The scam worked pretty well. Until federal investigators picked up the trail.
The scam worked pretty well. Until federal investigators picked up the trail. ViewApart/ Getty Images

Goodbye caucus, hello primary: Washington Democratic voters will be participating in their first primary election in 2020, after voting to ditch the caucus system, which at this point feels antiquated. It’s also pretty exclusive to certain groups of people, according to Stranger writer Katie Herzog. Washington Republicans switched over to the primary system in 2016, so now the whole state will be voting for their candidate through ballots, similar to the way you vote in the general election. If you’re a fan of packing into small, sweaty school gymnasiums and talking intensely about politics, maybe you can throw yourself a mock caucus for old times' sake.

Washington lawmakers want to keep whale watching alive: Whales fucking hate the sound of our boat motors and the southern resident orcas that frequent the San Juan Islands are so magnificent that they almost always have an entourage of gawkers following them around. The orcas use echolocation to hunt, so the frequencies of the boat motors get in the way of their hunting and cause them general stress. The Orca Task Force recommended a three-year moratorium on commercial whale watching in the state to give them time to recover—that’s scientist for "have sex and make babies"—but lawmakers just rejected that recommendation, telling Crosscut they, “didn't think that that was necessary.”

Teen vaping just got a whole lot harder: Washington lawmakers just raised the smoking age to 21, following the hottest new trend of 2019 policymaking. In fact, my home state of Illinois just passed a very similar law last night. Now you can’t buy cigarettes, tobacco products, and, most importantly, e-cig juice (Juul pods, for those in the know) until your 21st birthday. The law is intended to curb vaping in high schools so 18-year-olds don’t just buy vapes for their younger friends. But who knows, high school kids are incredibly resourceful.

Homeland Security secretary Kirstjen Nielsen resigns: Nielsen, who has carried out Trump’s cruel hardline policies at the border, clashed with the president recently over his request to close ports of entry, which many experts believe would have crippled both the US and Mexican economies. She also didn’t agree with his request to stop accepting asylum seekers, because, well, it would be illegal. She’s come close to resigning before after Trump repeatedly berated her in cabinet meetings. The biggest mark on her record is the disastrous child separation policy and the trauma it imposed on those families.

If you're lucky, you might get rained on today: More spotty showers and sun to start your week.

Sometimes not doing is better than doing: Let that be a lesson. This Paris Saint-Germaine forward is going to be haunted by this move for the rest of his life.

American tourist and Congolese guide found alive: After a five-day kidnapping from a wildlife reserve in Uganda. The kidnappers are believed to have fled into the Democratic Republic of Congo, where it may be hard for Ugandan police forces to find them. The two were found alive and in good condition after their ordeal and will be returning home within the next few days.

Two Oregon State students reportedly scammed Apple: Sweet, sweet retribution. These two Chinese students allegedly tricked Apple into replacing more than 2,000 fake iPhones from China. These fake Chinese iPhones were only $30, so it works out to a profit of about $600 for every phone. That's more than a million dollars in profit! But now federal investigators are catching on and have charged the pair.

Now listen here you $#!%: In order to get to know you better, we're going to go on a journey of my city's musical history. Chicago is arguably the birthplace of rock ’n' roll and was undoubtably a haven for blues musicians around the country. Among them was Muddy Waters, who inspired basically every rock ’n' roll group that would follow in one way or another. The Rolling Stones probably wouldn't have formed without him and would certainly have a different name (they nicked it from one of Muddy's songs). Here's some quintessential 1969 Muddy Waters for you. This week, we'll march forward through Chicago's musical history.

Tonight's best Seattle entertainment options include: A laid-back Bard in a Bar reading of King Lear, an evening with Chicago rapper CupcakKe, and Seattle Restaurant Week.