It brought to mind my bright magenta dildo that I chose in a moment of panic, as it was the only color outside of black and "flesh" and, not wanting to make a statement about race or feel like I was "choosing sides" regarding my own identity, I bought the alien penis over Caucasian and African-American penis. The neurosis is distinctly my own though.
My thoughts then drifted to the history of the dildo. This object isn't a creation of some sort of relatively modern sexuality, but one of the oldest tools—yes TOOLS—that people kept near and close for centuries. We've been fucking ourselves since forever. We've been getting fucked by these things for just as long.
this phallus is 28,000 years old thanks @BBCNews pic.twitter.com/ut1gsPABsn
— jasmyne (@jasmynekeimig) April 13, 2019
Take this phallus for example: it was found in the Hohle Fels Cave near Ulm in Germany in 2005. The BBC reported that it's made of siltstone and is dated to be around 28,000 years old in the Upper Paleolithic period. Fuck me.
It should be noted that scientists think this ancient dildo could have also been used not for the slobbering vaginas and/or anuses of our Ice Age ancestors, but maybe for shaping flints. I mean—why not both? I know we have all had fantasies of the erotic possibles of electric toothbrushes, shower heads, cucumbers, pies, etc. It feels good knowing that the pervs who came before us did too.