Wont you haul some packages, dedicated Amazonian?
Won't you haul some packages, dedicated Amazonian? MARK MAKELA/GETTY IMAGES

Canada just one-upped us on orca protection policies: They passed similar legislation on protecting Chinook salmon fisheries and quieting vessel noise, but their biggest policy was creating a seasonal sanctuary for orcas to feed throughout the summer. From June 1 to October 31, a vast area of prime Orca habitat will be closed to all vessels, with a few small exceptions. This is meant to give the orcas a refuge from vessel noise to make hunting easier. Washington, where is our answer?

It’s been a hot May, which could mean drought this summer: It was hot as hell this weekend; a full-on, classic summer day, but the problem is it’s only May. The heat is melting Washington’s snowpack too early, which could mean drought later this summer. Gov. Jay Inslee has already issued drought emergency declarations for Okanogan, Methow, and upper Yakima watersheds, according to the Seattle Times. When snow retreats quickly, it can expose dry wood and small branches that burn hot and quickly, making the risk of wildfires even greater. It’s looking like it might be a brutal summer.

Amazon is trying to get their employees to quit: But then start new businesses delivering Amazon’s packages. The company is trying to bump up shipping time for Prime members from two days to one, so they’re going to need a whole lot more manpower to get those Snuggies and Khaleesi wigs to your doorstep ASAP. They’re offering $10,000 in startup funding plus a continuation Amazon salary pay for three months when these employees are first starting out.

Gun violence continues into the night after Friday shooting: The Central District saw a string of shootings Friday after one man was killed and two wounded that afternoon in a drive-by shooting. Two more shootings left two men at the hospital but in stable condition. It's unclear if the shootings are connected in any way, such as retaliation, but police are looking into that motive. Notably, the Central District is one of the neighborhoods that will not be receiving more police presence from Mayor Durkan's "emphasis patrols."

Toronto Raptors win playoff series with nail-biting buzzer beater: I’m told it’s the first ever buzzer beater to win a game 7 playoff.


China throws down some tariffs of their own: Trump is dropping tariffs on Chinese imports like Lil B drops mixtapes (he’s implementing a lot of tariffs). One of those impacted Chinese goods is the Orca Cards, you know, the magical cards that let you jump on city buses that are now complete with air conditioning? Yeah, a bulk order of the cheap cards has raised from $1.92 to $2.40, reports the Seattle Times. But China has some tariffs of their own, it is a trade war after all. But their tariffs don’t go into effect until June 1, giving negotiators a chance to finish the trade deal between the Trump administration and the Chinese government.

Two Saudi Arabian oil tankers sabotaged in mysterious attack: It’s not yet clear what was damaged on these massive ships or who is responsible, but Saudi Arabia’s first thought was of their longtime rival Iran. Tensions between the two middle eastern powers have been intensifying over the last year and a visit by Secretary of State Mike Pompeo surely won’t ease tensions. My theory is that this is actually environmental activism by people inspired by the book The Monkey Wrench Gang in which they destroy machinery used to transform natural places and generally fuck up the environment. No, I don’t have any evidence, but that would be a lot less scary than a war between Iran and Saudi Arabia.

Now listen here you $#!%: This week we're going to listen to some diet metal, you know metal that everyone can get behind. You'll hear a distinct lack of screaming vocals and a whole lot of distorted guitars and weird polyrhythms. This genre is sometimes called prog rock or progressive metal, but that doesn't matter. We'll start things off with Buckethead, the virtuoso guitar god who lives his public life behind a white mask and sporting a KFC chicken bucket on his head. I know you're curious, check him out.

Tonight's best Seattle entertainment options include: A memoir reading with Ani DiFranco, Women in Beer 2019, and an evening with Yann Tiersen.