Robots Are Going to Be Picking Washington State's Apples This Fall



"So Mushari felt swindled as he wallowed through the garish prose, lusted for sex, learned instead about automation. Trout's favorite formula was to describe a perfectly hideous society, not unlike his own, and then, toward the end, the ways in which it could be improved. In 2BRO2B he hypothicated an America in which almost all of the work was done by machines, and the only people who could get work had three or more PhDs. There was a serious overpopulation problem, too.

All serious diseases had been conquered. So death was voluntary, and the government, to encourage volunteers for death, set up a purple-roofed Ethical Suicide Parlor at every major intersection, right next door to the orange-roofed Howard Johnsons. There were pretty hostesses in the parlors, and the Barca-Loungers, and the Muzak, and the choice of fourteen painless ways to die. The suicide parlors were bust places, because so many people felt silly and pointless, and because it was supposed to be an unselfish, patriotic thing to do, to die. The suicides also got a free last meal next door.

And so on. Trout had a wonderful imagination.

One of the characters asked a death stewardess if he would go to Heaven, and she told him that of course he would. He asked if he would see God, and she said, 'Certainly, Honey.'

And he said, 'I sure hope so. I want to ask Him something I was never able to find out down here.'

'What's that?' she said, strapping him in.

'What in the Hell are people for?'"


1 that character is naive. Anyone knows people are for making robots.


“Your parents were fighting machines and self-pitying machines. Your mother was programmed to bawl out your father for being a defective moneymaking machine, and your father was programmed to bawl out your mother for being a defective housekeeping machine. They were programmed to bawl each other out for being defective loving machines. Then your father was programmed to stomp out of the house and slam the door. This automatically turned your mother into a weeping machine. And your father would go down to the tavern where he would get drunk with some other drinking machines. Then all the drinking machines would go to a whorehouse and rent fucking machines. And then your father would drag himself home to become an apologizing machine. And your mother would become a very slow forgiving machine.”


Take a look at the apple trees in the video -- getting them to grow like that takes quite a lot of year-round labor. I suspect the real effect of robots like this will be to replace a large number of seasonal farm workers with a smaller number of permanent farm workers and robots. All in all, not a bad outcome.



Old Kilgore hasn't been a parody for decades now, has he?


Modern American farming is already 70% debt management and 30% finding something for the full-time help to do in the offseason. This is going to change things a lot less than you might imagine.


I once decided Vonnegut was God and that I was the only being in the universe that had free will.

That went well.

Spoiler: You aren’t, and neither am I.

Well before this I attempted to eulogized him in North’s second-to-last paper in lieu of the Russian hag’s prescribed article on the new handicapped buttons alongside the doors. In addition I got stoned with das Jew and made a crossword puzzle.

The article ended with “Hey Kurt, you died”. Gimme a four-letter word for wood.

The horse jumped over the fucking fence.

Read authors, not books.


Illegal robots are stealing American robots jobs


Please don't mention "Trump supporters" as though they are normal human beings. They are pathetic Trumpanzees.