LW could also ask his partners not to suck so hard. That's what I do, and it works.

(I don't mean to imply that it's the sucker's fault - Dan clearly explained where the pain comes from, and since it's not their balls, it's hard for them to know how hard they should suck unless you tell them. My preferred routine is a bit of sucking, a bit of licking, repeat as long as pleasurable.)

Stretching out one’s scrotum doesn’t sound very enticing. So perhaps another option is simply more gentle sensations? Soft caresses, licking, and very gentle sucking, rather than the intense ball sucking SCROTE has received, might provide pleasurable sensations without the pain. If you don’t have balls, it is probably hard to quiet grasp how small changes in intensity can make something so pleasurable so uncomfortable.

Yep, #1 and #2. This one seems obvious, and seems like going out of your way to stretch your balls is a bit much. As an aside, while I too think intelligent design is utter bullshit, Dan undermines his own argument by giving the answer to why the function of the cremaster could be perceived as intelligent in his response: it gets them out of the way for copulation, not other kinds of sex. You wanna come from ball sucking? How will that propagate the species?

As a middle aged dude who goes commando every day, I would say if you want more stretchy balls, just wait.

Another problem that can be solved by ball stretchers! I know that made Dan happy.

@3 I don't think that is proof of much either. An intelligent designer would not need sex at all for reproduction. It could be done with a handshake or through the mail. Dan's point is that our bodies are random, weird and often inconvenient. Not much about the cremaster is stopping us from having non-babymaking sex, we still do it 99.9% of the time.

I’m a big fan of little darlings’ stimulation- hand cupping, tea bagging, silky panties, soft core CBT, and more. Fully aware of my vulnerability in that area, I regard having/letting someone else play with them as an added intimate sexiness value. That also means trust and constant communication, as the line between awesome and ouch can be a very fine one.

LW should do his homework if he hasn’t already, using his own hands and toys, finding his little darlings’ limits. He could also turn up the bedroom temperature and scoot right above partner’s face, letting gravity help little darlings drop as opposed to laying on his back. It’s also possible that his partner/s may be relieved to know they don’t have to try too hard, which could also be the case here.

Those stretching rings made my own little darlings very scary, and I hardly ever take a bath.

I'll add an "amen" to the posts above but also add that not only should the sucker perhaps not suck so hard but perhaps the sucker shouldn't suck so long (assuming the ball sucking is lasting longer than the LW's balls can handle).

Ball Stretchers?! I’ll save a place for them in my footlocker right next to my sack shredder, tit trampler, tongue masher, eye scraper and bladder burner.

Hey Ricardo, I’ve been thinking of you lately, maybe my cosmic powers working. Nice timing for your appearance.

Is this a must, the ball sucking? Asking for a friend.

@10: No, but it's nice.

I guess that’s why there’s that phrase, suck my balls @11. I don’t remember balls being talked of when oral has been mentioned. They feel so fragile, in the mouth.

I do love touching balls, thru cloth. How squishy they get, when gently felt.

Ball sucking is unpleasant. Ball licking is wonderful. All IMHO.

In addition to sucking gentler, when the cremaster contracts to the point that the balls aren't easily drawn into the mouth, continuing to lick, suck, tug, etc. on the sack is useful.

Lava @ 10
Tell the friend that it’s not a must, probably nothing is, yet can be a nice touch to a blowjob, a prelude to any other activity, or even a la carte.
If friend likes face sitting they should seriously consider it, as sitter as well as a reciprocator.
Tell the friend that someone said it’s super nice to have your balls licked and sucked (gently!) as the erected penis starts bouncing gently on the nose, moving on its own from side to side.
If hygiene is an issue then take a shower before, together or not.

Here are some suggested uses as they appear in documentaries one shouldn’t watch on a company’s computer during lunch break:

https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5c4509a0080f8

https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5cc5e301ef38e

https://xhamster.com/videos/ball-sucking-face-sitting-6738548

@ 1 Ricardo - "I don't mean to imply that it's the sucker's fault". For some reason I imagined this in the voice of some old detective movie narrator. "The dame's pursuit was doomed from the start. That poor sucker didn't have an ice cubes chance in heck of getting him off."

@ 8 Donny - ugh! Sack shredder and eye scraper made me cringe. Just... ugh...

@6 CMD - your comment re: silky panties reminded me I'd been wanting to ask you (and any other amab commenters who have a gender identity nearer the femme side or who enjoy presenting femme) some q's. I don't wanna jump on the thread with something completely unrelated, but don't know where to ask.

Lava @ 10
Ditto to @17. It is not a must, but is a wonderful addition to a blowjob. Also, IMO, as an after activity once orgasm is reached. I found it to be less a fiercely arousing sensation than a deeply pleasant and relaxing one.

Also totally agree with Ricardo. It seems like using his words would help the LW since he is clearly not into pain.

@10/LavaGirl: I think as this letter shows, as a generally rule, it is better not to engage in ball play than to engage too intensely. Since there are a lot of nerve endings there, a sex partner doesn't need to provide much stimulation to have a big effect. Like @15/RE indicated, I find the feel of a partner's lips and tongue is great, and an often underused technique. Similarly, I had a partner who wanted to reach around and massage my balls during sex, which was unpleasant, since it felt more like pulling and squeezing. But when I got her to use a far more gentle touch, so that my balls glided over her palm and fingers, as she applied little or not pressure, it actually felt amazing and made the sex more intense.

Thanks CMD, I’ll pass the info along. They say licking is fine. See, RE, is on that team too. Without getting all metta on youse all, sucking balls introduces one to part of where creation originates.

Thank you Dan for running this letter, and commenters for all their advice. Learned a lot, about what I’m doing right and may be doing wrong. This is the quality content you don’t get from other advice columns.

Kitten Whiskers @ 18
I identify as nonbinary. As such I am somewhere “in between” and it can be expressed in different ways.
Questions can be directed to cmd78014 at yeah who dot com.

Lava @ 9 - Hi Lava! Maybe your cosmic powers are working... if you were concentrating on clearing my schedule a bit so I'd have time to come and talk ball-sucking.

Kitten @ 18 - That sounds hilarious. I'd love to see porn with a totally serious narrator giving a play-by-play account.

More advice for the LW: Start really soft/slow, one ball at a time, then ask your partner to increase the pressure as your balls get used to it. Then try two balls at a time. And if your partner has a (literally) big mouth, you may get to the point of fitting the balls and the dick in at the same time (total heaven, but not for novices on either side).

This letter makes no sense. If it hurts every time he gets his balls sucked why does he like it? Was there a time when it didn't hurt because if not there is no basis for him to like it.

sjl@27 - It's a thin line between pain and pleasure. Getting one's balls sucked feels really good until it suddenly feels really bad.

The LW probably meant "But whenever I've had my balls sucked, it ended up hurting", and not "it hurts".

SCROTE - I fantasize a lot about having my nipples licked and sucked. Sadly, my nipples don't seem to have any erogenous nerve endings, and unless I'm looking I can't tell if someone is on my nipple or kissing some other part of my upper chest, it feels like nothing. To which my response is: Womp womp, you can't have it all.

balls have a muscle called cream master ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Ricardo, I thought of you because you’d not appeared for a while, then I thought I hope he’s ok. That concern, that love as it were..I secretly love you from very afar and across orientations.. I’m sure my positive thoughts helped you sprint with your work.
No.. how can any human fit a cock and balls in their mouth at once, what sort of monster mouth would you need.

Lava @31 - Thanks for all the good thoughts, but now please try to concentrate on me winning at the lottery (just joking). Love you back!

As for fitting a cock and two balls in the mouth, I've managed it with two different guys, and my mouth is not monstrous (I swear!). One was my BF at the time, the other is a longtime FWB. I think patience, lack of pressure and a good sexual rapport is what's needed, really.

By the way, I also have a friend who can fit her fist in her mouth, and both are really normal size!

Always sharing wild stories Ricardo. I assume that cock wasn’t erect? Maybe I can see it fit in all squashed up. I’ll leave that image right behind now. Hugs to you and take care of yourself till next time.

Not to get unnecessarily personal, but no one has ever even approached getting my full package in their mouth... I think you’d need an abnormally small pay pay to pull that trifecta.

@33, 34 - You're both wrong. They were neither soft nor small. It IS possible (I've also seen others do it), and the fact that you can't imagine it or it hasn't been done to you only tells us that you can't imagine it/that it's never been done to you.

@35 Ricardo - I bet you've inspired a lot of people to do some experimentation and it's almost the weekend. I just can't imagine how you get the angling right (deepthroat) while managing to get the balls as well.

Of course no one has tried it on me Ricardo. Silly.

I believe you Ricardo, it wasn’t me being rude and bitchy, I was inquiring because it is hard to imagine.

Kitten @ 36 - It's actually not a feat I can perform on command. But sometimes the stars align and it just goes in. Like deepthroating the first few times: you don't know what you did different, but somehow it suddenly goes all in without triggering the gag reflex.

Lava @ 37 - Thanks for the laugh. I was answering two people at once, and that part of the answer wasn't directed at you. I may never have had sex with a woman, but I do have an albeit vague idea of their anatomy lol.

@ 38 - I can usually tell when you're being rude and bitchy. You just sounded incredulous. But now that I re-read my post, maybe I was a bit rude and bitchy, so: sorry.

No I meant Tim was being rude and bitchy, not you Ricardo. You dealt with his post well, just lumping me in with his is what I was meaning.

All good then. At least we have that in common Ricardo. We both like doing it with men.

Lava @ 40 - Got it. I didn't think Tim was rude and bitchy either, just a bit presumptuous to think that his experience sets the standard for eight billion people.

If your partner doesn't understand what slow means - if they are always going too fast when they're trying out something on the extreme side, or doing something ordinary but not going slowly enough for you to relax into it - if you say "go slow" and they say "I AM going slow" - here's an exercise to teach them what slow means:

Have them sit at a table in the sun a couple of hours before sundown. Put a soft drink bottle (or something else about that high) on the table. Then tell them to move their hand across the table in time with the edge of the shadow of the top of the bottle for 15 or 20 minutes.

The shadow will move a fair distance, but it will be much slower than they currently know how to move. When they understand how to move that slowly, they understand "slow" in a new way. You rarely need to move your hands or lips or other parts of you that slowly during sex, and when you do it's not for very long - but you need to know how to do it, and you need to know that you sometimes have to slow down to sun-shadow slow, if you want to be good at all the permutations of foreplay and sex.

It's often the case in intense sex that you get where you want to go faster if you start out slower and speed up gradually. You want to be able to go so slowly, and increase your speed in such small increments, that your very sensitive partner has to say "a little faster" a few times to get you up to the right speed (while you're learning their limits), instead of "that's too much". It's a good way to establish trust and then push their limits a bit further than they thought they could go, without going over a limit.

@22 - yes, Dan's explanation of ball pain was inaccurate - it's not all muscle strain by any means. I wonder where he got that idea? Not from a reputable source, or from talking to his male friends. He probably has balls of steel, himself.

The lw's partners are not very good at what they're doing if it always hurts. You can play with the most sensitive balls if you pay attention and know how to move slowly and go lightly. What you're after is intense but not painful sensation for the guy who's balls you're playing with - and if a very light slow tug or a very light scrotum sucking is intense for him, that's as far as you go. A slow buildup can be a wonderful thing and take him to places he didn't know he could get to - but it has to be as slow as the guy needs, not as fast as you think he ought to be able to handle.

And, of course, don't let someone with a mouth smaller than your balls try to stuff them into their mouth. Yes, they do that sometimes. And yes, that's just stupid.