Apple, reflecting on having to murder its child.
Apple, reflecting on having to murder its child. PHOTO BY KEVIN FRAYER/GETTY IMAGES

The world has lost an icon: iTunes is fucking DEAD. Well, almost. iTunes will finally fade into obscurity for good and be laid to rest next week. Apple will be separating all of iTunes' functions into separate apps—music, podcasts, and TV. Former Slog PM writer Nathalie Graham just quipped: "What's going to happen to all the music I bought in middle school?" She hopes her iTunes purchases such as National Treasure, half a season of How I Met Your Mother, and, weirdly, the American Idol album of one random contestant from 2009 (she won't say who), will be saved during deletion. Confess your weird iTunes purchases in the comments and we can commiserate together.

At least 11 dead in Virginia Beach mass shooting: This is breaking news and a developing story. CNN is reporting that a shooter opened fire "indiscriminately" in a Virginia Beach city building. The shooter is believed to be a disgruntled former employee and died after a gunfight with police officers. It is believed that at least 11 people are dead and six are injured. Follow more here. The month of May has ended with at least 47 mass shootings in America.

More death: Junior the Jaguar, a 20-year-old geriatric jaguar at the Woodland Park Zoo, was humanely euthanized today at the age of 20 "due to a major decline in health and quality of life," reports a press release from the zoo. “We are very sad to say goodbye to this special animal," said Erin Sullivan, an animal care manager who worked with Junior. "He was a great cat who brought our Jaguar Cove habitat alive with his stealth and masculinity." Here's a video of Junior swimming in that cove:

MORE DEATH: Transit-tragedy strikes twice.

WAIT, WAIT—SOME LIFE: A new orca calf is born! To J pod! The news was first reported by a Canadian whale researcher on Friday. “It looked like it’s doing really well, fingers crossed,” the researcher told the Seattle Times.

"If Donald Trump were anyone other than the President of the United States right now, he would be in handcuffs and indicted": That's what Warren wrote in a popular Medium post published today. In it, she makes clear her plan to pass a law that would clarify that the Department of Justice can indict the President of the United States. Warren's got plans and I'm here for them.

South Seattle beach shooting suspect arrested: A 20-year-old man was arrested on Thursday in connection to the Monday shooting in Seattle that injured a woman and two children, reports the Seattle Times.

Today's Slog news round-up: From Lester, Lester, and Jasmyne.

  • "King County Inquest Hearings Investigating Killer Cops Resume, Charleena Lyles Case Still on Hold"
  • "Seattle’s Next City Council Could Lack a Black Person for the First Time in 52 Years"
  • "Art Workers Union Forms at the Frye Art Museum"

    It's almost Pride month: And we don't want Trump.




    From vampire to bat: It's official. Robert Pattinson is the new Batman. The Twilight actor will star as Batman in the upcoming The Batman, hitting theaters in June 2021. I don't like thinking about 2021 because I don't like thinking about Donald Trump's second term.

    This is triggering: And maybe a trap. But Boise, as I've been hearing for a decade, is booming. It's even having a "cultural renaissance," as Seattle Times's Brendan Kiley wrote today. I grew up in Idaho from seven to fourteen and I don't trust that the Republican stronghold is capable of producing more than a high-brow Mormon production of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. That said, it's cheap and the land is plentiful.

    Trump "didn't know" Meghan Markle is "nasty": But he does now. Trump is kicking off his first state visit to the United Kingdom, which begins Monday, with a round of controversial statements. First, he called Markle, the former American actress and current member of the British royal family, "nasty" after finding out she threatened to move to Canada if Trump won the presidency in 2016. Despite the "nasty" comment, he said he thinks she will make "a very good" American princess. He also said Boris Johnson would make an "excellent" prime minister. BORIS JOHNSON.


    Mexico's president is acting remarkably diplomatic: As opposed to our mad king, a man who governs like a shit-throwing chimpanzee and who will inevitably shit himself. Mexico's President AndrĂ©s Manuel LĂłpez Obrador is facing a major threat from our president, who has threatened to impose tariffs on "all Mexican imports in a matter of days," reports the New York Times. Instead of matching Trump's belligerent hostility with belligerent hostility, Mr. LĂłpez Obrador has opted for an age-old political trick: diplomacy! “We think that all conflicts in bilateral relationships must be resolved with dialogue, with communication," LĂłpez Obrador said Friday. Meanwhile, our guy:

    A weekend trailer dump: First up, a new trailer for Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance, for those of you who love edgy puppets.

    A24 released a trailer for their new horror film about a sexy red dress, In Fabric. It's an homage to the giallo (Italian horror) genre from director Peter Strickland. (If you want to see this before everyone else, it plays Friday—that's today—at 9:15 p.m. as a part of SIFF 2019.)

    And let's end the week with a trailer for the new Rambo movie (lol), Rambo: Last Blood. I'm including it because it features Lil Nas X's country-trap hit "Old Town Road," which I never expected to underscore a Rambo film. Stranger art critic Jasmyne Keimig and I chat with Stranger editor Eli Sanders about the song on our Blabbermouth podcast here.