Scientists have noticed some weird shit happening with the black hole in our galaxy.
Scientists have noticed some weird shit happening with the black hole in our galaxy. EVENT HORIZON TELESCOPE COLLABORATION ET AL.

Pitchforked at the post office: Last week, a woman was attacked during a routine visit to the Ballard post office. A man who was just released from jail attacked her with a pitchfork. She was in her car when the suspect approached her with the weapon, aiming it at her leg, chest, and neck, trying to skewer her like some kind of human kebab. Bystanders heard her cries and rushed the suspect. He fled. They chased him down. He was arrested again.

Bellingham Christian School attacked by teen vandals: Good news for students, school is going to start a week later. But the reason why is no cakewalk for the school. Two girls, aged 14 and 15, were arrested for causing about $250,000 in damage to their school. They allegedly sprayed fire extinguishers in the gym, which was being used as a storage area for computers and other equipment. Those were damaged. The girls also allegedly wrote offensive things on the walls and had a little food fight in the kitchen, which was covered in condiments and food.

The Ballard Locks have run dry: As Chase pointed out in PM last night, only a dismal 17,000 or so sockeye salmon have made their way through the locks this year. That's paltry in comparison to an average of 237,000 in the 2000s. But, as Danny Westneat points out grimly, there are still videos of salmon to observe at the locks, something put in place because there was nothing else to see.

Here you go: Weather.

A Tacoma shooting: Two people are dead and three are injured after a shooting near the 2100 block of East 38th Street. Detectives are investigating the scene.

Looking for an Airbnb experience? Why not try a five-hour mock Amazon interview? It will cost you only $4,600. But you'll get some good feedback on whether or not you'll get a job at Amazon. It's presumably led by the guy who cofounded Amazon Game Studios in 2013. If that seems like too much for you, you can also pay for an $800 interview preparation workshop.

Important celebrity news: Celine Dion has a warehouse dedicated to holding her 10,000 pairs of shoes. Hugh Grant thinks that Paddington 2 was the greatest film he's worked on.

Trump has incited violence: According to an ABC news report, President Donald Trump was invoked in at least 36 criminal cases. These consisted of "violent acts, threats of violence, or allegations of assault," according to the report. These invocations include the cases where suspects hailed Trump during or after the attacks or the ones where his name was used to taunt victims or when "Trump and his rhetoric were cited in court to explain a defendant's violent or threatening behavior." The majority of cases—29 of 36—were carried out in support of the president. No threats or acts of violence could be attributed to President George W. Bush or President Barack Obama. Legacy... what is a legacy?

If your blood isn't already boiling: Here's Trump spewing lies about clean energy. What is with this "when the wind stops blowing" rhetoric? Renewable energy is way more reliable than conservatives or presidents-with-agendas would have you believe.

While we're here, let's reflect on how climate change is the most pressing threat to humanity: The Washington Post made this tool that will show you how much your county has warmed in the last 100 years. It's 0.8 degrees Celsius in King County but 2.3 degrees Celsius in Los Angeles County.

This is some pre-9/11 shit: This guy was the only one on his commercial flight from Aspen, Colorado, to Salt Lake City, Utah.

Never a good thing: Scientists are seeing "unprecedented flashes" in our black hole. Using a tool literally called the European Southern Observatory's Very Large Telescope in Chile, scientists spied something weird in the supermassive black hole at the center of our galaxy, CNN reports. What they think they were seeing was an eruption of bright radiation unleashed from the black hole. They also saw drops in brightness. What does it mean? It's a mystery. To me, a not scientist confused by anything and everything about black holes, it seems... bad. But maybe I'd rather go out in a black-hole bang (not a euphemism) than by slowly burning to death via climate change.

More fishiness in this Jeffrey Epstein case: The financier charged with human trafficking was said to have died by suicide last weekend. Guards were meant to check on Epstein's cell every half hour due to a prior suicide attempt back in July. However, according to the surveillance video, guards did not make these routine checks despite logs saying otherwise. Those logs were falsified. Two guards have been placed on administrative leave, and the jail's warden has been temporarily reassigned.

Meanwhile, one of Epstein's accusers has sued his estate: A woman who said that Epstein groomed her for sex and raped her when she was 14 filed her suit against the deceased financier's estate on Wednesday. His death ended proceedings for a federal criminal prosecution, but his estate—worth somewhere around $500 million—is expected to face a multitude of civil suits.

The 1619 project was released today: It's the New York Times' reflection on the 400th anniversary of the start of American slavery. It is monumental.

Ohio State University is trying to trademark "the": Sorry, sorry, I meant THE Ohio State University is trying to trademark the word "the." It's their brand or whatever. They want to just put "THE" on T-shirts and hats. Stupid.

Welcome to the dystopia: Amazon says its facial recognition software can now identify fear.

Tonight's best Seattle entertainment options include: An outdoor oyster party with Taylor Shellfish & Lil Woody’s, Miss Texas 1988 and Strawberry Shartcake's new recurring FukdtuP Variety Show, and a chance to learn about lucid dreaming with Jennifer Dumpert.