"Masochistic Cop"

Fill me up with yr pig love, officer.
This cop loves masochistic punishment! Jasmyne Keimig

I forgot where I saw this one, but I immediately snapped it for my collection. The name of the artist's Instagram is conveniently at the bottom of the sticker: Weekend Satanist. Their work is twisted, weird, violent, and compelling. You can check out more here. I love this anthropomorphic masochistic cop!

"What Have 👁️ Done"

Listen, you know what you did.
Listen, you know what you did. JK

I'm a sucker for these kinds of mental exercises, though this one is pretty easy as far as those kinds of exercises go. And it makes you think: What have I done?

"Dog as Saturn"

This doggo is a heavenly body.
This doggo is a heavenly body. JK

When I was 19 and drunk at a party, I asked my friend to give me a stick-and-poke tattoo of Saturn. I chickened out just as she was finishing the upper arc of the planet—she hadn't even gotten to the rings. I love this artist's interpretation of a planet that looks like Saturn, but, like, a better cooler Saturn. I should have gotten this one tattooed instead!

"Shrieking Babe"

Does this baby remind anyone else of the scary dead baby from Trainspotting?
Does this baby remind anyone else of the scary baby from Trainspotting? JK

Look—all babies are fucking weird aliens when first born. If you were submerged in liquid for nine months, you'd look all raisiny, too! I feel like the only way we'd be able to travel to galaxies beyond this one is in some sort of oxygenated goop that resembles amniotic fluid. (Remember that scene from The Abyss where Ed Harris wears a diving suit filled with the stuff because he was about to go into the alien layer deep, deep in the ocean? My mom made me watch that movie because she loved Ed Harris. And okay, fine, it was GOOD.) Everyone would wake up light years away all shriveled and cranky. Anyway, I've got that phantom animatronic baby that crawls on the ceiling in Trainspotting on the brain because I've been listening to a lot of slowthai, who references it in "Inglorious." Watch it and get fucked:

As always, if any of these stickers belong to you, e-mail me at jkeimig@thestranger.com.

This article has been edited since it’s initial publication.