Not a governor.
Not a governor. MARK WILSON / GETTY

Boris is fucked: It's a showdown in the UK Parliament, baby! Honestly, I have no idea what's going on over there. The Guardian has live updates here. But basically, Tories defied their leader and seized control of the Commons. Whatever that means. Boris Johnson is blubbering. He's still in power but not in control. Theresa May looked thrilled. Some guy was slouching. It's confusing, but I think this aptly sums it up:

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Dorian, now a Cat 2 hurricane, barrels up the East Coast: The NYT has good live updates of the hurricane here. The storm is off the east side of Florida, sparing the western portion of the state its wrath. But while the hurricane parties on that side of the state are swinging, the full devastation of the storm's path through the Bahamas is being revealed. The death toll in the Bahamas is rising and officials have called it “a crisis of epic proportions."

Should part of the Pike/Pine corridor transform into a "superille"? The Barcelona-imported concept, also known as a "superblock," would deprioritize car traffic in the 6-block area between Pine to Union and 12th to Broadway—the area where Neumos, Elliot Bay Books, Vermillion, and Stranger World Headquarters is located. “This is an opportunity to look at what other cities like Barcelona have done to change street design elements to reduce traffic and improve pedestrian access to public spaces," Seattle City Council Member Teresa Mosqueda told Capitol Hill Seattle Blog. I'm into it.

Doesn't this study come out every year? Well, again, drivers in Seattle suck. So do the roads. So do the cars.

I don't know who this baseball guy is: But he loves Elliot Bay Book Company. Fun Fact: My dad was a professional baseball player and my cousin plays for the Phillies. I can't throw a ball.

Kristen Stewart was told to be less lezzy if she wants to be successful in Hollywood: Allegedly. "I have fully been told, 'If you just like do yourself a favor, and don’t go out holding your girlfriend’s hand in public, you might get a Marvel movie," Stewart told Harper's Bazaar UK.

Walmart will stop selling some types of guns and ammunition: But only some. The Amazon competitor announced today that its stores will stop selling short-barrel rifle ammunition and handgun sales (in Alaska). The meek discontinuation is in response to the people and employees recently gunned down in its stores.

California boat fire update: All 33 passengers and one crew member are believed to be dead in the horrific boat fire that occurred Monday in open water off California. The Coast Guard announced it has suspended search efforts. The cause of the fire has not been determined.

Sadly, Dave Reichert will not be running for governor: Rich is crushed.

Trump's administration announced it will divert $3.6 billion in military construction funds to: Build that border wall! Chuck isn't happy.

The man behind one of the country's biggest gay conversion therapy camps would like to come out about something: He's gaaaaAAAaaaay! Very surprising!

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No space for Iran: The US slammed Iran's space agency with sanctions today, accusing it of using the space program as a cover for creating missiles. The quote from Secretary of State Mike Pompeo: "The United States will not allow Iran to use its space launch program as cover to advance its ballistic missile programs."

North Carolina is gerrymandered to death: Three judges in North Carolina have thrown out the state's legislative district maps because they violate the state's constitution. "The 2017 Enacted Maps, as drawn, do not permit voters to freely choose their representative, but rather representatives are choosing voters based upon sophisticated partisan sorting," wrote the judges. New maps must be completed in TWO WEEKS.

Are we approaching the death of binge watching? Disney+ announced last week that it wasn't going to let users binge its new series all at once. Instead, the new streaming service will be old fashioned and release series episodes weekly. (I think this is a great move.) Now, it looks like Netflix's programming may also be going in that direction, as they're set to have multiple series dropping weekly rather than all at once. In a tweet, the company pushed back against claims that they are transitioning away from a binging model.