Should Jay take away our vapes???
Should Jay take away our vapes??? GETTY IMAGES

Vaping claims another life in Oregon: The mysterious vaping illness that fucks with the lungs has killed a second person in Oregon. Health officials in the state are telling people to stop vaping. Both victims so far have used vapes that include THC, the active ingredient in marijuana. Nationwide, there are 805 probable cases of this illness and 13 deaths.

Governor Jay Inslee will lay down the law on vaping: We don't know what it will be, but Inslee will be making an executive order about vaping today. There are currently seven confirmed cases of the illness in Washington. So far, Michigan, New York, Rhode Island, and Massachusetts have restricted the sale of vape products.

Coward Republicans won't publicly say they would impeach: Former Arizona senator Jeff Flake said that he's heard that about 35 Republican senators would vote for impeachment. But only in private. A secret vote would beget around 30 Republican impeachment votes, Flake said. What about... instead of being giant spineless blobs of flesh hiding behind party politics, the Republicans just vote the way they know is right and save face by not being complicit in a scandal that is desecrating the entire institution of the presidency? Some food for thought.

A chilly weekend: So long, summer.

Seattle director of Immigration and Customs Enforcement hates sanctuary cities: OH GOD, her name is my name. With the same spelling! Nathalie Asher what are you doinggggg??? Well. This Nathalie (Asher) spoke out against sanctuary city policies where cities have vowed to protect undocumented immigrants. Asher called Seattle's law "misguided" and says that it makes our community less safe. She said that ICE is just doing its job and everyone's lack of cooperation is making it really hard. Good!

Are you a visual learner? Me too. Here's a timeline of what Trump and all the people around him did throughout the year to make this phone call with Ukraine happen. The most damning new development is that Rudy Giuliani was lobbying for months with Ukraine to get them to investigate the Democrats over the 2016 election and Joe Biden. Meanwhile, among the hubbub, Trump has said the whistle-blower didn't hear the call and is "a spy."

A Port of Portland officer just shot someone at Portland International Airport: It happened outside the baggage claim. No other details are available. The person was taken to the hospital with non-life-threatening injuries.

Some crying in baseball: Goodbye to King Félix Hernández.

A squirrely request: A squirrel asked a Virginia woman for help. It tugged on her pant leg and followed her around. The squirrel's baby had an injured leg, the woman found out. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't know the first step in, like, setting a baby squirrel's leg or how to cast it or if sticks would make good crutches. This lady obviously didn't, either. She called the fucking police to help. "Excuse me, 911, this squirrel has a broken leg." "Um, okay." She also called the Humane Society.

Christine Blasey Ford testified in front of Congress a year ago today:

Sixth-grade boys cut off classmate's dreadlocks: Three sixth-grade white boys at Immanuel Christian School, the school where Mike Pence's wife, Karen Pence, teaches part-time, attacked their female classmate. They pinned her down on the slide, one held her arms, the other put a hand over her mouth, and the third cut off her dreadlocks while calling her "ugly" and "attention-seeking" and, if that wasn't blatantly racist enough, calling her hair "nappy." The girl's parents are taking legal action.

Breaking: The NRA served as a "foreign asset" to Russia in the lead-up to the 2016 election.

Dildo D-Day: Every time for the past three games where the New England Patriots have played the Bills in Buffalo, a dildo has been thrown on the field. The fourth time could be coming up this weekend. The Bills have cracked down on fans in the past, banning dildo-throwers for life. Some have even been arrested. Keep your eyes peeled for some rubber cock on the field on Sunday. I'm putting "dildo" on my fantasy lineup this week.

Another angle:

A fun fact for your Friday: Today is Google's 21st birthday.

This weekend's EverOut picks are: A night of stand-up with handsome nerd Demetri Martin, Pacific Northwest Ballet's Carmina Burana + Agon, and a live taping of Pod Save America. See more on our EverOut Things To Do calendar.