This is how Hannity started his show last night.
This is how Hannity started his show last night. CF

Two days ago, the President of the United States released a transcript of a phone call showing him using taxpayer dollars to extort the president of Ukraine. The "favor" he wanted was dirt on Joe Biden and fodder for a Crowdstrike conspiracy theory—stuff Trump planned to use for his 2020 campaign. It is illegal for foreign governments to interfere in US elections, and certainly illegal for US officials to force them to. And who was the Ukraine president supposed to coordinate with in this illegal scheme? Attorney General Bill Barr and unemployed clown Rudy Giuliani.

Then yesterday morning, a whistle-blower complaint came out alleging that not only did Trump try to extort the president of Ukraine, but a lot of high-level White House officials, including Vice President Mike Pence, listened to the call and/or knew what was said and/or knew that the record of the call wasn't filed away normally, but instead in a place where the country's deepest intelligence secrets go—a cover-up of the illegal activity mentioned on the call. Oh yeah, and it was "not the first time" there was a call and a cover-up like this.

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So how is Fox News reacting? With fairness and balance? Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Sean Hannity's broadcast last night began with the biggest news of all... Joe Biden! I couldn't believe it, so I snapped that pic at the top of this post. So much to discuss about Sleepy Joe, Sketchy Joe, Shady Joe, Schadenfreude Joe. No wait, sorry, I was Schadenfreude Joe, watching Fox News and eating popcorn and laughing. I kept trying to look at Hannity's hands, to see if there were any new details to add to this intriguing suggestion on Twitter that he had perhaps punched a wall the day before.

The other top stories? Trumps economy, duh, and Clinton said something, double duh.
The other top stories? Trump's economy, duh. Also Hillary Clinton said something. CF

Despite his cheerleader routine on air, privately, Hannity told friends yesterday that the whistle-blower's allegations are "really bad," according to Gabe Sherman's reporting in Vanity Fair. Not that he said anything like that to his viewers, mind you. No, no, no—of course not! He's not an idiot! He's a Trump loyalist, and Trump loyalists never get burned! No, he was too busy talking on air last night about, you know, all the other breaking news:

I was laughing so hard I had to rewind to get this shot—dont worry, Clintons still down there in the lower corner. Shes still coming!
I was laughing so hard I had to rewind to get this shot—don't worry, Clinton's still down there in the lower corner. She's still coming! She said something. With her mouth, probably. CF

But Hannity is... special. We all know that. We all know he and Trump shared Michael Cohen as a personal lawyer, and that he and Trump tuck each other in at night over the phone.

What about the other Fox News hosts? What was Tucker Carlson on about last night? In the 6 pm hour, a mere 12 hours after the whistle-blower allegations were made public, he decided to do... a game show? Called "Final Exam"? Involving two young women, one in pink and one in white? Ohhh-kaaaay....

Im not even kidding.
I'm not kidding. CF

It was a little hard to follow what the hell was going on, but apparently the way Final Exam works is, like, Tucker says a word, and then Emily and Susan have to guess whether the word has something to do with gymnastics, juggling, or archery.

You think I'm making this up, don't you?

Wrong. CF

Tucker's other stories last night? Well, of course, there was that huge, huge controversy about how... someone in Canada used photoshop?

He talked on and on about that straw.
He talked on and on about that straw. CF

After juggling-vs.-archery and the case of the disappearing straw, Tucker got back to what Fox News viewers really tuned in last night to learn about—who's getting deported today!!!

This would be funny if it werent so sickening. And racist. And typical.
This would be funny if it weren't so sickening. And racist. And typical. CF

The one part of Tucker Carlson's show that did address impeachment referred to it as a "scandal." In quotation marks.

And it turned out the actual reason Newt Gingrich was there was to hype some new documentary of his about his own time in Congress in the 1990s.
And it turned out the actual reason Newt Gingrich was there was to hype some new documentary about his "Contract with America" in the 1990s. CF

As for Laura Ingraham? She showed her bona fides by... letting the aforementioned out-of-work New York clown Rudy Giuliani onto her show to say whatever he wanted. Yes, the same Giuliani who is implicated in Trump's own words in the transcript of his call, the selfsame Giuliani that the president of Ukraine was to coordinate with in making up stuff about Biden and Crowdstrike. Crowdstrike, in case you care, is the firm the DNC hired to get to the bottom of their emails getting hacked in 2016, and apparently the firm is partially owned by a Ukrainian, which is why Giuliani hatched his conspiracy theory that the Russians weren't behind the 2016 election interference, but Crowdstrike/Ukraine was! That makes perfect sense!!!

But first she showed this hilarious graphic. Broken glass! Scary! Hey, Jess, could we get that artist to design The Strangers Halloween cover?
But first she showed this hilarious graphic. Broken glass! Scary! Hey, Jess, could we get that artist to design The Stranger's Halloween cover? CF

As for what's really going on behind the scenes at Fox News, that Vanity Fair piece reports that:

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And according to four sources, Fox Corp CEO Lachlan Murdoch is already thinking about how to position the network for a post-Trump future...

Fox has often taken a nothing-to-see-here approach to Trump scandals, but impeachment is a different animal. “It’s management bedlam,” a Fox staffer told me. “This massive thing happened, and no one knows how to cover it.”

Yeah, we can tell.

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