When I read the headline, my first thought was "His own balls?"

Also, this is a multi-time re-run, because I recall it from the past year or two. :(

Hey Stranger Editor who posts SLOTTED - can you dreg up some of Dan's pre-9/11 catalog and post those instead?

dude really overthinks EVERYTHNG

"I described the position and how it would happen (I’d be the licker and him the fucker) and assured him there would be no 'M to M' contact."
Next time be specific that you want no M to M contact and get assurances from him that it won't happen. I'm sorry he did something you thought wasn't on the table, and I'm glad you weren't traumatized by it and don't have any problems that it happened.

Like Sportlandia, I remember this one repeating a few times. I can't remember what I said before but 69ing while someone else is fucking from behind is going to put balls in the 69ers face. That seems kind of rude so maybe the ball linking was meant to get those balls out of his face.

@1
Yes, my same thought, exactly!
"Wow, this guy is talented!"

I sucked my own dick and tickled my own balls - do I need to put "I'm gay" on my dating profile??

Yes, this had been run already in (I think) the last 6 months.

Great opening line, sure, but I'm bored of this one now.

Sounds like there needs to be a teenage intern in charge of keeping track of which letters have already been re-ran. And also be put in charge of licking balls. I volunteer myself to conduct the job interview.

@9: I don't think a straight man who is able to self-fellatio would necessarily be gay, as I think every boy has tried.

Every time someone writes with an "am I gay" or "is he gay" question, I always think about this Onion piece:
https://www.theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819583529

So much hand-wringing over a little ball-licking.
Maybe he could channel that angst into climate activism.

I remember this one, not all that recently but it made me giggle again. Straight people and their angst about body parts!

I'm bi so it wouldn't bother me at all. But let's just remember that consent is a thing, even for cis het males. He said no M to M contact, and so we should take that boundary seriously, rather than mocking straight people for their "angst about body parts."

ThatOtherGuy @17, you're correct, and I'm sorry for making light of the situation. Yes, BALLS said no M/M contact and the third violated that. I wouldn't have joked except that BALLS said he wasn't traumatised by it and that it didn't bother him. I can picture that it would be difficult to keep one's tongue away from the slapping balls of a guy who was fucking the woman one was going down on. Perhaps BALLS hangs lower than Third or they were in a different position when he was able to do this without any peripheral ball-contact. Anyway, BALLS is angsting not over the fact that it happened but whether he should mention it to his wife, which is what I found amusing. As if it's some sort of confession. My view is, if Wife mentions she'd like to see Third again, BALLS can say, "Eh, he seemed to be licking my balls while he was 69-ing you, and I didn't like that, so let's look for a different guy this time."

I'm sure this letter read much differently in the pre-Trump era.

I'm stuck on logistics. How, if you are doing a good job at clit licking (i.e. constant) do you not end up licking the husband's balls? They're in the damn way.

I have also read this one too many times. The LA could and probably should leave out the last bit Dan recommends about the prior incident not being a big deal. A less than scrupulous person might read that as implied consent to push that boundary.

LW seems very into having everything orchestrated in a way, a script, etc. Therefore it seems natural that he could not conceive of someone else, caught up in a messy sexy hot moment, not realize that his tongue, flicking against a clit, happens to also flick against the balls very close to that clit. My guess is that to the third, it didn't feel so different or he didn't even really register what he was doing, caught up in the moment. It was easy to redirect him. The overthinking is really weird. I'd advice telling the wife about it just to see if she got any weird vibes too so that maybe you two could discuss the experience before trying for another one with someone else. Things like this are bound to happen, and LW does not seem like someone who will just roll with it- lots of overanalysis after the fact, so probably a good idea to be clear with the wife with how you are experiencing the post-mortem.

EmmaLiz @22: Yes! It's the overthinking that's silly to me, not having hetero boundaries. Thanks for capturing that so well. You are on fire today.

@22: I'll add my yes to BiDanFan's. I didn't mean to suggest @15 that boundary-pushing was okay, nor that someone doesn't have a right to his/her limits.
It just seemed that the lw was investing a lot of time and energy in what looked like overlooking what could easily have been incidental contact.

If the guest dude was deliberately trying to violate the understanding (maybe not explicitly enough articulated) in order to get in some unapproved ball-licking, without consent, or even in defiance of non-consent, that's a problem and a violation.

But it still doesn't justify the tone and the question asked, which was less about not inviting the ball-licking hung dude back for a repeat performance, and more about worrying the wife. The whole "do I have to tell my wife" suggests that the lw considers this some sort of cheating or rule-bending on HIS part. I can't imagine the wife would be that upset by the knowledge that in trying out a different position, her husband got his balls licked in an incidental way that he didn't seek out and that he moved so as not to continue the contact. Or if she was upset, the blame rests on the shoulders (tongue, really) of the guest hung dude.

Perhaps I'm misunderstanding the position here, but it seems like a potential explanation for this is that the LW's balls are lower hanging than the other dude's balls; which would explain why the LW's balls were being licked, but the LW wasn't close to licking the other guy's balls. Also, while the overall position was the same, the dicks could've been entering at different angles when fucking her, so the angle could've gotten one dude's balls closer to licking distance than the other.

Athari @25, we don't know that the overall position was the same. Third surprised them by moving into 69 position; BALLS said that later they "got into the position I described to him" and no tongue-ball contact occurred. He doesn't say what this position was, but EmmaLiz nails it on BALLS wanting everything to be scripted while Third seems to have just gone with the flow. He saw an opportunity for mutual fucking and clit-licking, as BALLS had said was Wife's fantasy, and he saw an opening (har har) and decided to take it. Different threesome styles, and I have to say I'm on the side of Third in preferring a bit more spontaneity to strict choreography. Another reason I found BALLS's angst a bit silly. Threesomes are an art, not a science. :)