What is this an oxygen tank? A ... water silo?
What is this, an oxygen tank? A ... water silo? justicart/Getty

The sobering center is in limbo: Months after the closure of the last-resort locale in South Lake Union for intoxicated and homeless people, it's not clear when and where the new sobering center will reopen. It was planned to be opened in Georgetown, but that was canned after intense neighborhood backlash. Now, for the first time in 20 years, there will be no low-barrier walk-in shelter this winter.

Start-up culture, but for love: Okay. Get this. People met at Optimism Brewery earlier this month for an event hosted by YouShouldDate.ppt called “Pitch Your Single Friend." It is, horrifyingly, exactly what it sounds like, right down to the ".ppt" in the organizer's name. People made two-minute PowerPoint presentations about their single friends and had to pitch, à la Shark Tank, to a room of interested parties. I'm flagging this mentally for a Stranger Valentine's Day piece.

YMCA in Kirkland complains about police: In September, police arrested a 14-year-old boy in connection with some thefts in the area. The boy was at the YMCA's Kirkland Teen Union Building. Video shows the officer throwing the teen to the ground and swearing at him. According to YMCA staff, the officers interacted with dozens of people yet were only aggressive with three black teenagers.

Remember that Ballard fire? The fire that gobbled up four businesses last month (yes, it happened only last month!) completely destroyed its victims. The four businesses—La Isla restaurant, Supercuts, Kitchen N Things, and Coleman Jewelers—are beyond repair. They will be completely demolished by December 1. There was $1.5 million in damage to property and $1.5 million done to the contents. It's not clear if the businesses will rebuild. Money raised via a crowdfunding campaign was sent to displaced workers.

Another foggy morning: More rain is on the way tomorrow. For now, it's another dry day.

No more Nike on Amazon: Nike just did it. "It" being "stopped selling directly to Amazon." In 2017, Amazon and Nike came to an agreement where Amazon could directly sell some Nike products, and in return would clamp down on counterfeit and unsanctioned Nike product sales. But now, with a new Nike CEO (who formerly was eBay's CEO), Nike is taking its products back.

The Russian, the airline, and the cat understudy: A Russian man has been busted by the airline Aeroflot for some grade A duping. The man wanted to fly with his cat, Viktor. Except Viktor is a big ol' tubby tabby (presumably tabby) and weighs a whopping 22 pounds. The airline won't let any animals in the passenger cabin that weigh more than 17 pounds. When he got to the airport, Viktor's owner checked in using a smaller, leaner cat, an understudy. Then he swapped that cat for Viktor before getting on the plane. He would have gotten away with it too if he hadn't posted social-media pictures of him and husky Viktor looking out the window of the plane. The airline saw it, reviewed security footage showing the cat swap, and locked the man out of his frequent flier account. He had 400,000 miles. The story made it to the Kremlin. When asked about it by the press, Vladimir Putin said, "The Kremlin did not comment about cats."

Hate it when that happens: A decade ago, Kentucky principal Phillip Todd Wilson banned all books with LGBTQ story lines. These days, he's being indicted on child pornography charges. He was charged with 17 child pornography and distribution charges.

Air pollution causes brain cancer: A new study has shown for the first time that air pollutants, typically caused by burning fuel (think diesel engines), can cause brain cancer. The nanoparticles carry carcinogens that get into the brain. Obviously, it's not a guarantee, but say for instance you move from a quiet street to a busy street, that added pollution could lead to one case of brain cancer out of every 100,000 exposed people. Cool, cool, cool. Even cooler? The EPA is trying to stop this kind of health-based data to inform policies and inhibit pollution. I love dying slowly in the United States of America at the hands of the United States of America. Don't you?

A meteor in Missouri:

I refuse to read this story. I just want the headline to exist pure and untouched in my mind: Gender Reveals Hit Horrific New Low as Woman Literally Farts Out the Big News.

BREAKING: Fox News and its viewers don't drink enough water. Apparently, no one at Fox HQ has ever seen a Nalgene bottle, there's nary been a Hydro Flask in their presence. They were flabbergasted and slack-jawed over state department official George Kent drinking out of a reusable bottle during his impeachment testimony yesterday. Contributor Raymond Arroyo called it a "water tower" and a "water silo" and said, "Fish are not this hydrated." Laura Ingraham called it an "oxygen chamber." Maybe Fox News people are so upset because they aren't hydrated enough? You would think you'd get parched running your mouth that much.

I love how shitty these people are at their jobs: It came to light in the impeachment hearings yesterday that US ambassador to the European Union Gordon Sondland had used an open cell-phone line in a Ukrainian restaurant to call Donald Trump about the progress of investigations into Joe Biden and his son. Another US embassy staffer in Kyiv overheard the call. It's also almost guaranteed that other parties (*cough* Russian intelligence *cough*) were listening, according to a former senior director of the White House Situation Room.

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Holy cow(s)! A group of horses and cows was swept out to sea when Hurricane Dorian hit North Carolina. Three of those cows have been found alive. They probably had to swim at least two miles to safety. I know you were waiting for the good news. I'm so happy to be able to provide you with it.

I've already optioned the screenplay for the kid's movie about this dog: Sorry, suckers. You snooze, you lose. You gotta be quick on your feet when good content like "puppy born with extra tail on his forehead is named Narwhal."

Today's EverOut picks are: Crazy Cocktails & Charcuterie with Joe Wargo, the science-related dance performance Pilobolus: Come to Your Senses, and a show with Brian Jonestown Massacre's Joel Gion. See more on our EverOut Things To Do calendar.