If we work together, we all can be on meth.
If we work together, we all can be on meth. South Dakota department of social services

Are you on meth? You should be. South Dakota is. The state paid $448,914 to an ad agency in Minneapolis to create a campaign about how South Dakotans are on top of the meth crisis. How they're working together. They're on it, you could say. This is the campaign. Notice any issues?

"We’ve been working to make our operating rooms safe to prevent Aspergillus infections," said Seattle Children's CEO Dr. Jeff Sperring during a press conference today. “To date, we have not been successful.” He then put it more bluntly: "We failed. As CEO I hold myself and Children’s to a higher standard." Five more deaths have been linked to the hospital's ongoing mold problem. It's a sad story all around.

Jeff Bezos now has a portrait of himself in the Smithsonian National Portrait Gallery: I have no words.* Here it is:

Three dead in Walmart shooting: Another one. This time in Oklahoma. In a normal world, this would be today's biggest story. Currently, it's not on the homepage of the New York Times or CNN.

Biden isn't sold on weed: Yesterday, speaking at a town hall in Las Vegas (a city with a cannabis museum that sports a 24-foot-tall bong), the presidential candidate said there is not “enough evidence” on “whether or not [weed] is a gateway drug." Because of that, he wants to "debate... a lot more before I legalize it nationally." THE DEBATE HAS BEEN HAD, JOE.

Meanwhile: (We think it's a Breaking Bad reference.)


The gays are eating Chick-fil-A again: Today, the popular chicken mass murderers announced they will no longer donate to two groups that have been criticized by LGBTQ activists, Fellowship of Christian Athletes and the Salvation Army. Conservative media is in a tizzy over the news, crowing about how it's "sad to see" Chick-fil-A "knee to the mob." How long until Fox News cancels Chick-fil-A? I just want the Chick-fil-A culture wars to end so I can eat fried thighs and breasts in peace. It's come to my attention that Chick-fil-A serves neither thighs nor breasts. I haven't been to a Chick-fil-A in like five years. All I remember is the meat sweats.

Get ready for three more days of impeachment hearings: Starting each day at 6 a.m. PST, baby! Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman and Kurt Volker will testify tomorrow. More on who's testifying and when here.

It's ChloĂŤ Sevigny's birthday: I endorse this recommendation to watch her short film, Kitty, on Criterion Channel.

It's "manifesto week" in the UK: The political parties of the United Kingdom will be unveiling their "manifestos," which is what they commonly call their party platforms, this week in anticipation of their unique December 12 election. The Labour party wants "sector-wide collective bargaining." The Greens pledge net zero carbon emissions in the UK by 2030. It's a busy week across the pond.

A gift for Jeopardy! fans: The show will be hosting a Greatest of All Time (GOAT) tournament with the top three champs facing off. That includes James Holzhauer, Seattle's Ken Jennings, and Brad Rutte. The contest will air in January on ABC. More details from USA Today:

But the GOAT tournament will be anything but typical: It consists of a series of two back-to-back games, airing weeknights (8 EST/PST) beginning Jan. 7. The player with the most combined winnings from the two games wins the “match,” and the play continues on successive nights (except Monday) until one of them has won three matches and takes home a $1 million prize. (The other finishers get $250,000 apiece). That means the tournament can last anywhere from three to seven days.

The WeWork layoffs are coming: 12,000 global employees are bracing for a layoff, reports CNN. The unfinished WeWork building next door to Stranger World Headquarters hasn't had any visible construction in weeks. Behind the giant stickers announcing WeWork's arrival to the neighborhood are empty cement floors. I peeked through a window and saw a lonely table with flowers rotting on it.

When can we expect the big announcement from WeWork? The New York Times originally reported that "an all-employees meeting" was scheduled for Tuesday, but that meeting has been moved to Friday. A perfect day for a mass firing.

Tomorrow may not see WeWork layoffs, but it will see a new Cats trailer: Meow.

*While I don't have any words, Jasmyne Keimig will have a Currently Hanging on Bezos's portrait up tomorrow.