It also could be harder for the sex to live up because her husband is a man and she actually prefers women. Wouldn't be the first time that someone who had low self-esteem with sex was also dealing with confusion about their sexual orientation. She should also sleep with a few more women and see if that does it. Make it solo too since the swinging doesn't do it for her.
Also, the motherfucker is impeached already!
DESIRE, in addition to the couples therapy recommended by Dan, a little one-on-one with a therapist of your own might help disentangle nine years of his selfish behaviour from your willingness to put up with it. You earned the one night stand, but I wonder how much resentment it took to get there.
At the crux of the issue is an interesting question—is it possible to unflip the switch that changed the chemistry with your partner?
Sometimes it creeps in slowly the way did though years of unfulfilling, one-sided sex like in LWs example, and sometimes it's a single instance like a comment or act that conjures a realization that has your body saying "no no no no no no." I've been there before and I've never been able to recover the magic, but I'd like to think it's possible.
Just from reading this blog for a long time, maybe worth checking out weed/weed lube. It might help you relax and let go of some of the mistrust so you can enjoy the moment.
Now we need to persuade twenty Republican senators to vote to remove the motherfucker from the Oval Office.
I do feel bad for the next occupant of the White House. The santorum stench will linger for a long time.
It's strange the vows in marriage are for better or for worse; yet people often forget that last part. It doesn't mean you have to live in a rut but you do have to work on it.
Seems like LW hasn't properly communicated with her husband in quite some time; after a point blaming him (or her) is pointless because things build up over the years and if you can't let it go you can't stay together either. I doubt it has anything to do with the woman she just has her mind set that she wants out and is looking for an excuse.
@8: "I tried to be vocal, tell him explicitly what I wanted, move his hands during sex, bought toys, etc., but he had zero interest." She says she tried, and gave up. I wonder why she stuck around, but who knows?
Also, fuck the vows of marriage (assuming they actually made "vows"). Marriage is no longer required to be a life sentence.
I’m trying and failing to imagine how it would be possible to love someone who absolutely did not care whether I was enjoying sex and deliberately ignored my needs. What exactly is so lovable about them?
DTMFA -- he couldn't be bothered to make sure you enjoyed sex -- until it became clear he was going to lose out on sex with you entirely.
It's STILL all about him, not you -- outside of using your vagina as a Fleshlight and using you as his ticket into swinging parties.
As soon as he's got you hooked again it's guaranteed he'll revert back to his Mr. Selfish in Bed persona.
Why waste more time with him -- obviously, there's a world of men and women out there who won't think it's a chore to make you come, or have to be threatened to do so. Who will be happy to help!
It's not a matter of a life sentence it's a matter of working through said problems and communication about sex is extremely important (and most people screw this up epicly). Additionally without people working it out; there is no point in commitment.
Which to be fair I see a lot these days and yes being happy is important I just have a view point that most people pay attention to the bad stuff and dredge it up a lot and are rarely thankful enough for the good stuff and because of that they will never be happy.
DESIRE is still operating under the premise that she is in an either / or dichotomy, specifically, either sex with her husband becomes good henceforth, or she needs to divorce the man she still loves. But monogamy isn't at stake in this relationship, and nothing is stopping her from continuing to see her female sex partner (or some other woman or man) while also working on her sexual relationship with her husband. Good extramarital sex might take some pressure off her sex life with her husband, which may make rekindling the connection with him easier, and he may simply respond better with some degree of sexual competition. Even if it proves impossible to rekindle the sexual spark between them, DESIRE still does not need to divorce her husband, although it may be advisable, so long as he accepts not having sex with his wife.
Ugh, he sounds HORRENDOUS. Who else was shouting "DTMFA" by the end of the first paragraph? I agree with Dan: "Speaking personally, DESIRE, I would've left this guy eight years and six months ago."
Huh, this seems like a direct response to the "my wife only has sex with me once every other month" letter and EricaP's "cheat and confess to kickstart a conversation" advice. Coincidence? Did DESIRE actually confess or did she do what we all advised RTP to do, give him the ultimatum of improve the sex or she walks? It's not clear. This letter does make it clear that if one is unhappy in one's sex life, one should speak up long before complacency sets in. She doesn't say how long Mr DESIRE has been trying to make sex good for her, but it can't be very long compared with the ten years of crappy sex. I wonder if adding a hall pass to also have sex with women might help, or if that would just emphasise the difference between his "trying" and what someone else can actually achieve. At any rate, I agree with Dan: She's had bad sex for nine years, she can give him a year or two to turn things around. What if she were to fantasise he's somebody else? Suggest he wears a mask as one of her "kinks"? And I'll second @6's suggestion that weed may help, along with Sublime @13's mention of special guest stars -- whom SHE chooses. Good luck to them.
dumnogenus@8: "For better or for worse" means "even if you lose your job or I lose my hair." It's about outside circumstances - not "no matter how much of a shit you are, I'm bound to you for life." I'm with Dan. Someone who doesn't care about making you happy isn't someone you should be with.
A decade is a long time to have resentment build. Especially about sex. This is gonna be a tough one to turn around even if you did trust the transformation was real. And considering his history, you really can't trust that the transformation is real. Oof. Good luck l-dub. And the good news is you are finally driving this to a conclusion one way or the other.
Dum @8: Yes! That's the point I was hoping to make in the RTP comments. "Why doesn't he leave?" Because hello, "for better or for worse" includes worse. Thank you.
I disagree with your second paragraph, though. She's not looking for an excuse to leave, she's looking for a way to stay. The one night stand didn't make her want to run off with this other woman, it inspired her to demand better from her husband. Because she IS in it for better or for worse, but she's had enough of worse.
LW, do you two smoke a bit of you know the funny stuff. Because it might help. If you’re not prepared to leave your husband, getting zonked out, then having sex, is all I can suggest as an alternative.
How many yrs do we have to say the same thing to these letter writers. If you’re not feeling it why stay? If you’re not feeling it, yet are not willing to leave, wtf do you think Dan can do about it. No magic pills for a dead bed.
My foundational point is that a sudden power shift in a relationship can be overwhelming, but I'd want a better read on LW and her life before going in any particular direction. The only thing that vibrates is [Then I met another girl...], and even that can go in multiple directions.
@8 Jeez, I’m sorry your divorce left you so bitter.
Surprised Dan didn't suggest considering companionate marriage and open relationship. Sounds perfect for LW: she loves everything about her husband except sex with him, she had great sex outside the marriage - solo, not swinging, her choice of partner. He likes sex w/ others too. She wants to rekindle the desire w husband - she could do that too but why focus only on rekindling-or-divorce.
Also, no one should be used like a fleshlight: "wifely duties" UGH PATRIARCHY! OMFG. Masturbatory assist (hands / maybe outercourse) at the most, no one should get fucked / have to blow / eat out someone if you're not into him/her/them.
@10 +1. That's a subject for individual therapy. And how much does he really love her if he isn't caring about her pleasure and needs or even asking, and just fleshlighting her?
Double-Ugh. My companionate comment @22 assumes loving considerate partners, which sounds like might not be the case here, or at least not the case without a lot of change on his part.
my Rx: couples and individual Tx both (different therapists), she needs to unpack a lot on her feelings / baggage and couples Tx isn't the best place to do this.
It does seem likely that her husband will revert back to old habits once she stops threatening to leave. How does one ignore years of entreaties for sexual gratification and then fundamentally, permanently change under threat (I.e., not only try harder and do “x kink” but want to try harder and do “x kink” for its own sake)?
I agree with what some have said here. Stay with the husband but negotiate an open arrangement so she can keep getting great sex on her own as well. This might keep the husband trying long enough to make it a habit, and it may help ease her resentment over his incredible past selfishness.
@11. judepsychic. She says she wants to be married to him. He's fit, caring, smart and funny. And she could fuck all these other hot fucks and still be married to him!
@12. dumnogenus. But they've been happily married (absent the sex) for ten years. Don't make the best the enemy of the good.
She's told him to step up and he has. She's under a mild obligation now to step up herself. Think of it as being GGG--at her own bidding, in a peculiar way. It might be, though, that she never has earthshaking sex with her husband again--even sex where she comes. And she might never know the reason. It could be a consequence of his nine years of selfish neglect, such that it's impossible for her to regain the openness, the accessibility to surprise and exploration, of their first year. Or it could be that she doesn't find him sexual attractive--good-looking, yes, humanly attractive, a lovable life-partner; but the pheromones don't do it for her. They're just not a match--maybe.
In these circumstances, it would be reasonable for her to say she requires great sex in her life, that she can't have it with him and that she reserves the right to have secondaries and one-night stands. Maybe her other lovers will be women. It will be her decision, if things work out this way, whether to stay with her husband long-term. Certainly, given their past, she should not think the onus is on her--after a good-faith effort--to make herself enjoy sex with him again.
@13. Sublime. Correct.
@14. Roseanne. I'm much less likely to be in DTMFA territory when someone says 'I love my husband', e.g. 'he's fit, caring, smart, funny'.
@15. Bi. No coincidence--she's taken Erica's advice ;) . Good question as to whether she confessed or just issued an ultimatum. This raises another question: is he only making the effort now so that he won't lose her or have to share her? If so, it's not a good sign.
Sometimes in business there will be a situation where a customer doesn't pay a bill, so the store or service provider has to turn it over to a collection agency or take them to court to get them to pay. When the judge orders them to pay, the order isn't just to pay the original bill. They also owe court costs. There's a penalty for non-payment. You don't get to just try to get away with stealing with no risk if you lose. If the judge said only that the original debt had to be paid with nothing for the trouble that the collector had to go to, the collector would rightly feel taken advantage of.
Mr. DESIRE is getting away with not paying court costs. He owed DESIRE good sex for 9 years or at least he owed her caring about whether she got good sex. He owed her an effort. Only when she threatened divorce did he get around to giving her what he owed all along. No wonder DESIRE is unhappy.
Here's the bigger picture, the one I can relate to all too well. We tell ourselves that we SHOULD be attracted to someone. We tell ourselves that he's fit, caring, smart. He checks off all our boxes. In my case, the guys would be the right age, the right religion, the right politics, the right physical body type, and then I'd blame myself and feel guilty when we got into bed and it wasn't working for me. Here's DESIRE calling herself the problem because she's still apathetic. Like she doesn't have the right to be unhappy. Like it matters who's at fault.
First off, you do have the right to be unhappy. Your husband has been a jerk. (A jerk in this very important area. I'll grant that he may have been considerate in others.) Second, even if your husband hadn't been a jerk, even if he'd been perfect at trying to please you all along, even if it was a wild unexpected fluke that you had your first good sex in ages with a female one-night stand, you'd still have the right to figure out how best to proceed.
And that might be to stay with your husband. You might not be any happier if you dump him and keep looking. You might never find someone who's as good for you in the non-sexual ways. But lay off the self-blame, will you?
I wish she said whether they are monogamous, and I wish we had the husband's perspective. Was her fling with the other lady accepted and encouraged by their rules? Is he regularly having sex outside their marriage? Has he had a string of lovers, she mostly stayed home, and just finally used her permission?
He's obviously capable of being a competent lover, during their early days and recently. He may have been having great sex elsewhere? Don't know. What happened in-between?
It takes two (or more) people to have great partnered sex but it doesn't matter how great the guy is if the woman is just not into it. Her theory about how she just stopped expecting to orgasm with her husband sounds plausible, combined with him reacting to her disinterest by just finishing as fast as he can when she gave him the 'hurry it up' sigh. Should he have turned her down for the years where she says she wasn't really enjoying the sex? Should he have said "I won't have sex with you unless I'm convinced you're having an orgasm?"
Standard plug for my book, The Orgasmic Diet. Helps a woman find a mew appreciation for PIV sex, might help her get through this time with more enthusiasm.
Also I'd like to add that being in a similar situation was why I investigated my diet in the first place.
I'll expand on my earlier comment.
Let's pretend the letter read like this: Sex was terrific with my husband for a year, and then it wasn't. He's been great. He tries. I know he tries. I have too. I communicate my desires, and he does everything he can to please, but for the past 8 years, it's just not working for me. I can orgasm with other people in various scenarios but not with him. I feel awful because he's so good in other ways. He's kind, funny, objectively hot. I don't want to leave him, and I would like to rekindle the desire. Is this a therapy thing? A meditation thing? Something where I just power through the first bit and maybe the old feeling comes back? Any guidance would be helpful!
Here's the answer: Try therapy! Try meditation! Try dope and alcohol and that crazy diet and a vibrator and fantasies and porn. Engage his help with all this, and then decide if you're better off with him or without him. See if he'd give you a pass to have sex again with that woman you had the one night stand with. And good luck.
"I think I got conditioned to physically expect not to come with him."
Thinking you are physically conditioned to not come with him will certainly mean that mentally, you're setting yourself up to not come with him. You do know the things that make you come, why not start doing them with him? He should understand that you need a bit of a kickstart, and if he's being GGG, and you both sound kinda kinky, it should be a good time for everyone. Also, yes to the booze and dope, not just on principle but because it might help.
Wow, two letters in a week that resonate!
I can totally relate here, as someone who has had chore-like sex for a decade. At some point, you just stop seeing your partner as a sexual person. As the Horton sex life trickles to a crawl, it's hard to seriously believe my wife's invitation for sex as anything other than something she still feels she is supposed to do, before the seasons change. A decade of resentment is hard to turn around.
They should just open the marriage wide and put marital sex off the table for a while.
Hey Tim. Hope you have a wonderful holiday season.
@10 I swear to god half the couples in this world persist because someone's just too lazy to find a new apartment.
@5 Dougsf: I've never been able to recover the magic either. If it is indeed possible, I sure would like to learn how.
DESIRE here. Thank you for all the advice so far.
To answer some questions:
1. We have an open relationship, but the lady was the first time I had acted on that solo. I told him immediately after it happened.
2. This year we had several conversations where I told him if this didn't improve I was leaving and gave him specific things I wanted to try and do. I guess it took me sleeping with someone else for it to seem/be real.
3. I'm equal opportunity, and like the ladies and gents for different reasons, but not one more than the other.
4. He honestly is trying to be better and more attentive in many ways, not just in bed.
Had anyone taken sex off the table with their partner for a while and had that actually work?
Does having sex with someone while fucked up condition you to like sex sober?
DESIRE @38: Thanks for joining the commentary!
Your feedback kinda confirms what a few people were concerned about: if it took multiple, real threats of leaving for him to "get it", what's going to happen should you ever deescalate and recommit? Are you going to keep one foot out the door forever?
I can't answer your first follow-up question, but as to the second: I love having sex whilst fucked up. I also enjoy it sober. If you didn't enjoy the fucked up sex in the past, you're certainly entitled to require that it be sober going forward.
DESIRE @38: ... or do you mean "having sex with someone while [they are] fucked up" and consequently short sessions of vanilla sex with you never coming, and them not appearing to have zero interest?
Thanks for writing in DESIRE. You should tell your husband the truth. Start with that, then the two of you brainstorm options.
You could stop having sex with each other, and live as housemates.
Play dress ups and bring different characters into the bedroom.
End the marriage, and move out. Ten years is a long time to be miserable with the sex you’re having. Yes he’s trying, but it’s not working, so you have nothing to feel obligated about. So tell this man the truth. He won’t like it sure, he’d like it less if you just upped and left.
Honest open discussion, which includes that you love him and the rest of your life together, it’s the sex that isn’t doing it for you. Even now, with him giving it a try. And that maybe he’s left his run like a decade too late and something inside you has closed off to him.
Work it thru together.
DESIRE, I can't answer your specific questions, but I was in a similar situation. Not bisexual, did not have sex with someone else, and my then husband never did make the effort, which is why he became my ex. Frankly the sex was starting to feel like rape. Of course not actual rape, it was fully consensual, but my body just sort of shut down when he touched me after so many years of sex with no foreplay, no orgasm.
I thought it was a miracle when I became spontaneously orgasmic, so I researched the heck out of it when it happened so I could stay in the marriage and be a "good wife" (I was super religious at the time). And being the sciencey type I did figure out why it happened. It was great--I could have a dozen orgasms during our frankly terrible brief sexual interludes.
Then when he was repulsed by the fact that he had no control over my sexual pleasure, that if he put his dick in ANY of my orifices I would instantly have an orgasm, that was the end. Well, that and the time he hit me...
ANYway, my point being that the diet works for most women, as long as your hormones are in decent working order, and it sounds like they are. Takes between two weeks and a month to see improvement in libido--vaginal orgasms take longer. But I think worth a try in your case. It really does help, I actually super enjoyed the sex I had with my jerk ex until he escalated the jerkiness outside of the bedroom and I bailed.
The diet is mostly fish oil, but there are some other tweaky things that help. Avoiding caffeine, for example. I'm too lazy to type it all out here and the other regulars would probably get extra annoyed if I did. Last I checked you could pick the book up used for less than a dollar on amazon.
Nice to see you here.
In my experience, rekindling sexuality is rare but possible. You need to re-examining your expectations.
What if you have good sex with other people and reconnection sex with your husband?
What if you do kinky things together that aren’t sex, and masturbate when you get turned on?
What if you take charge of your dynamic and from now on all sex or kinky play is D/s F/m?
Similar situation for me, I could have written that letter (minus the swinging, sadly). Been 12 years for me, sex less than once per year. Used my words, many times, but he didn’t listen until ultimatum, now he’s trying to initiate and I don’t want to do anything with him for all the reasons mentioned by previous commentators. I know I have to move forward with him and just do it at some point, but I just don’t have it in me right now.
38-DESIRE-- I'm also having trouble figuring out what you mean with the question about sex while fucked up, so I'll answer the question I think you're asking.
In my experience, no good has come from having sex while terribly drunk or terribly stoned. That much alcohol or marijuana makes me want to curl up and be sick, not terribly sexy. In my experience, sex after having 2 drinks, not enough to make me tipsy, just enough to make feel a little light-headed relaxed, works wonders. It lets down a little inhibition, makes me feel good, and the experience does help for subsequent experiences when I haven't been drinking.
Adam @29: What he should have done was listen when she "tried to be vocal, tell him explicitly what I wanted, move his hands during sex, bought toys, etc."
DESIRE @38, thanks for chiming in. Knowing your relationship is open, my attitude changes. I would encourage you to have more sex with other people, poly partners, not just one night stands. NRE might stimulate you to be more sexual generally, and that could spill over onto your husband. Since you use the phrase "fucked up" to refer to enhancing the sexual experience with weed/alcohol, I'll assume that that's not for you. Can you see a future life that involves lackluster, but possibly improving, sex with your husband and concurrent, fulfilling sexual relationships with other partners? I would hesitate to suggest a companionate marriage unless that's what you both want, and it sounds like he doesn't.
I suspect it's more than the fear that he'll stop making an effort. It's the fact that he could have done this the whole fucking time if he'd wanted to. He just couldn't be arsed because he "knew" she'd never leave. Her quality of life wasn't reason enough. Only a potential change to his life, in losing her, was enough motivation. How the fuck do you get over that?
Not saying she shouldn't try if she wants to. But she's got to acknowledge the rage and anger that's built up over the years. Maybe with a therapist.
Everything Stonesoup @47 said.
DESIRE, you said it yourself that your using your words with him multiple times didn’t work until you banged someone else. Asking nicely didn’t inspire him to take your requests seriously. Only following through with your assertions...your actions...made him pay attention.
So yeah, I get it. You got what you asked for, sort of, but only after the equivalent of pulling a kid’s baby tooth to make a point after they didn’t brush and got a cavity. Permanent teeth do grow in, but there’s a gap there now and it looks bad and it feels bad. You got what you wanted, but there’s a gap there now.
For your sake and his, please get thee to a therapist. Yours for obvious reasons, his because dangling “change or I will leave you” over him as an open ended threat without a means of acknowledging his effort will sour him, and that will mean you don’t get what you want either.
Ditto Milvia@10, I vote for dumping him even if he shows sustained change, but Dan's right to offer advice relevant to what LW said, which is that she doesn't want to leave her husband despite him being an inconsiderate asshole for nine years who only shaped up in response to an ultimatum. Someone only treating you well when you coerce that behavior is not a healthy relationship dynamic, so I don't actually believe this guy treats her well otherwise, I think she's in denial about the other shitty things he does or doesn't recognize them because he ignores her needs/desires in ways that are normative. But that's inference on my part, not directly evident.
@32: I'm with you on your earlier comment, and if your version had been our letter, I'd say a companionate marriage or non-monogamous marriage would be good things to try. The fact that Husband DID step it up and stop taking LW for granted when she demanded, however, suggests the problem really was that he just didn't care about what she wanted, which makes him a bad partner in general (given that "partner is great a majority of the time when not actively denigrating and beating me" is a thing a lot of people actually say, with various phrasing, I take insistance that partners who are noted doing shitty things are otherwise wonderful as suspect or don't think that necessarily counterbalances the shitty behavior), which can't be fixed just with other sex partners.
@36: I'm confused by the "I can't afford to move out" claim from people who didn't subsequently have kids and thus don't have mandatory expenses now that they didn't have before shacking up. Did they all decide they could quit their jobs once they had a live-in partner? (If so, let everyone take this as a lesson to not quit you job just because you move in with someone. I can understand how a serious commitment could give one license to depend much more on someone else, which is why we have concepts like alimony.) Can they just not imagine getting roommates they're not fucking or moving back with family members?
@44: Again, I don't think your problem is about sex so much as this person showing you, for over a decade, that he just doesn't care about making you happy (and will only do so to avoid disrupting his own comfort regarding the life to which he's become accustomed). That makes him a BAD PARTNER, GENERALLY; the bad sex life is a symptom of the underlying problem that he just doesn't care about you that much. I donht think you have to move forward WITH HIM, I think it's advisable to dump someone who demonstrates, repeatedly (and especially over a long time), that he just doesn't care about you. It's different if either the person in your position HASN'T been using zir words (and was instead relying on mind-reading, in which case ze needs to speak up, starting with an apology for resenting something for a decade that ze never actually told the other person was a problem) or if the person in your husband's position stepped up and put in the effort but was simply unsuccessful (in which case an open relationship or companionate marriage might be a good option).
And ditto @47.
@50 I understand your reaction, but the assumptions underlying your comments are that I could do better with someone else or I would be better off alone. I don’t believe that to be true for me (but very likely true for someone else). For me, the lack of sex is a price I’m ultimately willing to pay to stay in the relationship, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth trying to improve the situation. But those darn emotions keep interfering. And so the struggle continues.
John Horstman @50: HEALTH INSURANCE.
If someone in the US who is childfree says they can’t afford to divorce, and it’s not a matter of just finding a roommate or moving in with family, chances are they have some kind of health condition that is expensive to manage. Or their spouse does.
I know a man who stayed married while legally separated for over a decade so that he could keep his insurance for a very serious health condition. He and his spouse negotiated that and they both stuck by it even after the marriage disintegrated in every other way.
Thank you @slinky! It’s the truth! Not to bring down the mood, but I’m middle aged with 3 young kids and disabled. I truly believe that I could not find a better situation for myself and my children.
And not for nothing, I love him. That’s what makes this so sad. I want the person I love to want me, and so even when there’s now expressed willingness, it’s just very difficult to wipe the slate clean emotionally. But the truth is that I will be better off if I can get over this and get us into a routine where intimacy is more common. I think my emotions will eventually come back online. I hope.
And if not, then that’s the price of admission I’m going to have to pay.
@38. Desire. I feel like agreeing with Fichu: you are writing in a tone of self-blame, rather than expressing legitimate anger at your husband and calmly, even-handedly considering the possibility that he's blown his chances sexually with you.
It sounds to me as if he took you for granted, emotionally and sexually. Sex with you for the first year was good for him because it was new. Then it was no longer new; quite possibly he stopped making the effort; he moved on (with your agreement) to hot new sex with new people. (Or so it seems). But whatever open arrangement you agreed to, you were implicitly entitled to your husband making you feel special--romantically and sexually; to his making the effort to keep things fresh. His idea might have been that he had nested with you, but could reserve his sexual creativity--and his buying red roses and saving his best rants or insights or inspirations--for his latest fuckbuddy. But this isn't realistic.
In your position, my priority would be to have great sex. Not with your husband, with anybody--like the woman you had a one-night stand with, if she's available. You have eight years of catching up to do. Say this to your husband. I don't think he'll be the one to instigate a break-up. Then talk to your partner about what form of relationship you want. A purely companionable living arrangement is a possibility. And then ... do you want kids? How would that work? The question you asked was, 'can a couple put sex on the back burner for a while and reignite the flame later?'. Sure.... But the implication is that you're worried about losing what you have with your husband. You didn't have much after the first year sexually. And if the rest is in jeopardy, it would be because your husband is unreasonable: he can sleep round happily and it's fine, but you start doing so and enjoying it, and your home is on the line. No. If he was serious about your having an open relationship, he should let you explore and find yourself now--and be there for you if you choose to come back.
@30. Marrena. I say drop the orgasmic diet and find the orgasmic person.
Comments are closed.
Commenting on this item is available only to members of the site. You can sign in here or create an account here.