It took 1,134 days, but the moment half of America has been waiting for since November 9, 2016, has finally arrived: This evening, the House voted to impeach President (why does it still hurt to say that?) Donald J. Trump.
Only one person the chamber didn't vote yes or no. It was Tulsi Gabbard, who voted "present."
The best-case scenario for what happens next is that the Senate votes to convict, Donald Trump is removed from office, and we only have a few months for President Mike Pence to outlaw dancing and co-ed softball games before a Democrat (any Democrat) takes office. The worst-case (and, I think, more likely) scenario is that the Republican-controlled Senate fails to convict, Trump spins this an exoneration, and then wins again in 2020.
But let's ignore that for a while and celebrate, shall we? After 1134 days of Trump-induced stress, we all deserve something, anything, to feel good about.
A hearty congratulations to everyone who made this day happen, including Nancy Pelosi, House Democrats, all the witnesses who didn't suck, and Dan Savage, who can finally take off this ITMFA shirt already. Let's party!